10 Year Old in Wisconsin Foster Care Again

Abitgail has spent most of her life in Wisconsin foster care. This is her third time being removed from the home. She is a sweet 10-year-old with significant trauma. She is funny and silly, and enjoys school and being around other children. Following is some of the information we received about Abigail. 

Kids in Wisconsin foster care struggle with trauma histories. 

Abigail is in fourth grade, has an IEP, and has speech delays. Teachers describe Abigail as outgoing, talkative, and engaging. She enjoys painting her nails, dancing, and singing. Abigail is diagnosed with ODD, PTSD, and ADHD. She takes two prescription medications for her mental health needs.

She has a long history of depression, and it can creep up on her. She can be charming but triggers easily without warning. On the other hand, she is curious, helpful, and aims to please.

Why kids return to foster care.

In early January, the Child Protective Services Support Program received a neglect report. The reporter learned that Abigail and two other children lived in the home with their mother and her boyfriend. An officer was dispatched to the house. Upon arrival, it was reported that Abigail opened the door and was crying. When asked why she was crying, she said she did not want to tell the officer. The officer overheard a younger child stating that Abigail would get in trouble for answering the door.

It was then determined that Abigail was caring for her siblings, ages 4 and 1. Abigail reported her mother was at work. 

Upon a search of the home, marijuana was found throughout the house. In addition, heroin was found in the mother's bedroom. All the drugs found in the home were noted to be within reach of the children.

Foster parents and kids in care need 24/7 support.

Abigail had a difficult transition after being removed again from her mother and was running away from school and being disruptive in the classroom. She has been with her present foster family for three weeks, and they have requested removal due to heightened behaviors. Many of these behaviors are due to the need for one-on-one attention, which the current foster family struggles to provide due to having two young children in the home.  

Abigail recently stayed with a respite provider and did well over both weekends. She was the only child in the home and received much-needed one-on-one attention. The respite provider praised Abigail and reported that she was a very sweet girl.

Much of her anxiety stems from the thought of going back home and having to care for her siblings. She must be reminded to be a kid and let the adults worry about adult things. This is difficult for her.

CCR foster care supports foster parents and kids like Abigail.

A foster home with no other children in the house is desired. Additionally, Abigail will do best in a home with a parent available when she is not in school to meet her elevated needs.

She has been in the care of many adults and has had several hospital and shelter stays. In 2022 and 2023, Abigail was admitted to a behavioral hospital. She was released to her mother after both discharges. 

Abigail's mother and her boyfriend are criminally charged with child neglect. Mom is released on bond, and the boyfriend remains in custody due to a probation hold. Both deny any knowledge of the drugs in the home. A relative has placement of the two younger siblings. 

Sadly, CCR did not have an available home at the time of referral that could meet Abigails heightened needs. The referring county continued their search.

If you are exploring becoming a foster parent, remember that ALL foster care kids have some level of trauma. Although Abigail's trauma is significant, other kids may display different behaviors and emotions at differing levels.

CCR foster parents are successfully helping kids heal from trauma. We see a lot of growth and healing with kids in our homes. If you want to learn more about the kids and how to become a foster parent we would love to connect with you.

Names and identifying information have been change for privacy protection. This child is no longer in need of placement.

Wisconsin Foster Child Desperate for a Family

Arthur is a 12-year-old who loves school and tacos. He has been in Wisconsin foster care for nearly half his life. He is one of almost 40 children referred to us in the past month from county foster agencies across Wisconsin. We tried unsuccessfully to match Arthur with a CCR foster family that could meet his elevated needs. A lack of foster families for kids like Arthur is an ongoing problem with no end in sight. Telling a county, "We don't have a home," never gets easier. Here is Arthur's story.

Hundreds of Wisconsin foster kids need loving homes.

His story resembles the hundreds of kids we could not match with a loving family this year. He is a great kid who desperately wants to belong. He misses his mom and siblings. He is a boy trying to be "good" while not able to understand his circumstances fully.

On paper, Arthur looks like lots of other boys. He loves school, pizza, and tacos. He is helpful and sensitive to others. On most days, Arthur is in a good mood. He does well when things are organized and in order. Structure and clear expectations are beneficial in keeping Arthur focused.

Boy with foster mom

Like many boys, he enjoys Legos, karate, playing outside, and science-related activities. Although he is nearly 13, he demonstrates the development and maturity of a 10-year-old. Arthur most often shows respect and an interest in others. He does well in school, completing work and assignments on time.

Wisconsin foster parents can provide a structured environment.

Arthur is capable of following simple directions most of the time. He does best when given one task at a time rather than multiple instructions or tasks. Healthy boundaries are an ongoing treatment piece for Arthur. He is currently working on asking for hugs instead of hugging someone without consent. A foster home with a structured environment with clear rules and boundaries is critical. Having a parent at home when Arthur is not in school would be best.

Misplacing and losing his eyeglasses is a continued problem that Arthur is trying hard to do better with. Arthur is prescribed several medications but is overall healthy and likes to get exercise. It is noted that Arthur is full of high energy in the morning. This appears to be related to his excitement to attend school, as he often wants to go immediately and struggles to wait. Arthur must be challenged to stay active to expel his energy and thrive in his new placement.

It would be essential for Arthur to remain involved in therapy on a consistent and regular basis.

Respite care offers Arthur a visit with his biological siblings.

fostering a teenager

Although Arthur's biological mother resides out of state, he has weekly telephone contact with her. The frequency of the mother's contact has increased over the past two months. She has recently expressed a desire to visit Arthur in person. Parental rights have been terminated for all of Arthur's siblings. Two of the siblings have been adopted, and the adoptive family is open to continued contact with Arthur. He inquires about his siblings often. The adoptive mother often offers respite care for Arthur so the children can spend time together.

A two-parent household with a parent available to Arthur when he is not in school is desired. Due to his energy levels and need to be busy and engaged, it would be best if Arthur were placed in a foster home with other children.

There have been no known instances of physical aggression with peers in the last six months. Arthur does not instigate peer conflict. However, he can be verbally aggressive in retaliation. Arthur will attempt to fit in with his peers, often resulting in negative consequences since the kids he responds to exhibit inappropriate behaviors.

It has been noted that before Arthur's current placement, many of his medications prescribed previously were likely not effective in helping to manage behaviors. Medication changes have taken place and seem to be effective.

Many foster children require an Individual Education Plan (IEP)

Arthur enjoys school and especially likes math. He has an IEP for learning needs. The IEP also includes a learning disability in reading and written expression. There are no concerns at this time with current teachers and aides. Arthur has made significant progress. Before his current placement, he had several verbal and physical altercations at school. He would threaten others, refuse to do his work, and on one occasion, he intentionally hit his head against a wall. Again, there has been no negative behavior in the current placement.

Foster kids thrive with positive reinforcement.

Arthur must have outlets and opportunities for physical activity. He has a lot of energy and thrives when given a structured opportunity to expel his energy. Arthur craves affection and will assert himself to have this need fulfilled. Reminders are needed to respect other people's personal boundaries and personal space. Foster parents should clearly outline rules and expectations. He does best with positive reinforcement.

It will be necessary for Arthur to establish a relationship with a potential family before placement. An overnight or weekend preplacement visit would be beneficial. A therapist should be established for Arthur before his new placement to ensure no disruptions in his treatment.

Community Care Resources receives approximately 40-45 referrals each month. We do our best to match each child and sibling group with a CCR foster family that can best meet their needs. The challenges of caring for a child with heightened behaviors require CCR foster parents to have flexible schedules. This allows for unplanned interruptions, meetings, appointments, and family visits.

We desperately need more foster homes to care for kids like Arthur. Feel free to call us anytime if you'd like to learn more. 800-799-0459

*Names and identifying information of children in all CCR blogs are changed to protect privacy.

 

Large Sibling Groups Struggle to Find Foster Parents

The number of sibling groups being referred to CCR continues to rise. Young siblings are entering Wisconsin foster care at alarming rates, primarily due to severe neglect. Sibling pairs and large groups are regularly placed in CCR foster homes in counties across Wisconsin. Most CCR foster families care for siblings or more than one child at a time. When their homes are full, we have no choice but to turn away referrals like a recent sibling group of three. Meet Martia, Jaylan, and Miya, siblings recently referred to CCR in hopes of finding a foster home to meet their elevated needs.

Sibling groups in foster care require more than bedroom space.

Wisconsinites familiar with CCR know that our qualifications to become foster parents focus heavily on flexible schedules. In other words, we need foster parents who can attend multiple weekly appointments and be available to kids when needed most, including after-school and summer breaks. Siblings like Martia, Jaylan, and Miya have trauma histories, require school support, and typically need additional outside services. Without day-to-day flexibility, caring for them and managing schedules would be difficult.

 

Martia recently celebrated her birthday. She is four years old and doing well in many areas, considering the neglectful circumstances she came from. Although she is not speaking as fluid as most children her age, she can express herself appropriately and tries her best to communicate effectively. She is a curious little girl who loves to please. She follows and mimics her older sister, Miya, who has been her mother figure for many years. Her attachment to Miya is not unusual with sibling groups when parents or caregivers have not been present or active in the home.

Martia sleeps well and has a healthy appetite. Although potty trained, she has accidents and wears a pull-up at night for occasional bed-wetting. It is reported that she will have tantrums lasting up to 30 minutes. Martia would benefit from socialization with other young children.

Keeping siblings together in foster care can be challenging.

11-year-old Jaylan is a typical boy in many ways. He loves video games and wants to buy a skateboard. He can be wise for his years and is very protective of his sisters. He has good insight and understands the needs of his sisters more than he should. Jaylan needs reminders to be a child, not a caretaker for his sisters. It causes much stress for him. He does not make friends easily and is working on being more social with his peers.

Jaylan spends much time alone, suffers from low self-esteem, and has been diagnosed with depression. He is reported to have problems with anger and tends to keep to himself. He has witnessed significant violence in his family and has been present during drug use and threatening situations. Although he is good at keeping himself occupied independently, he would do well in a family environment, offering healthy family group activities.

Jaylan is in therapy and a mentoring program at this time. He is in the 6th grade and performs satisfactory work at school. He struggles to complete homework and does not participate in class. He reads and writes below grade level, and math is increasingly difficult. Jaylan does not have any educational needs.

Foster children who have been neglected can have an array of regressive issues.

Miya is nine years old and described as creative and empathetic. Her brother describes her as the peacekeeper of the family. She is quiet and slow to open up, but her kindness is evident when she does. She tends to Martia's wants and needs and often puts her own needs aside.

Animals, music, and art are Miya's favorite things. She loves cats and hopes to have one someday. Miya does not like loud noises or being punished. She has witnessed family violence and gets frightened by yelling and loud voices. It is reported that Miya suffers from regressive issues, including bed-wetting (she wears Pull-Ups), using a teddy bear to comfort herself, and hiding her face when nervous or afraid. She worries about her younger sister and does not trust that caregivers will meet her needs.

Miya does not have any educational needs. She is currently enrolled in individual therapy.

We did not have a foster home for this sibling group.

Sadly, we did not have a foster home in the right location to accommodate all three kids so the referral was passed back to the county. We are truly desperate for more homes in every county location we serve. On average, we receive 45 monthly referrals from counties across the state. We have homes for less than 15% of the children.

Please get in touch with us to learn how to become a foster parent in Wisconsin and help kids like Miya, Jaylan, and Martia.

All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.

 

 

Teens in Foster Care are Waiting

Another heartbreaking story of a teen in foster care. Meet Emily, a 13-year-old Wisconsin girl needing a new foster home. Her story is familiar; her trauma is prevalent. Yet, her wish for a loving home continues.

More foster parents are needed for teens.

Most Wisconsin foster kids ages 11-18 are placed in group homes or residential facilities. Older kids of the same age range and gender live together in a house with staff and 24/7 supervision. Sadly, these kids would heal best in a family environment. A home with a loving parent or two, possibly with other children, pets, and opportunities for healthy, structured family activities.

Emily lives in a Wisconsin group home, hoping to move to a loving, nurturing family home.

There are hundreds of teens in Wisconsin foster care without a home.

Dozens of teens like Emily are referred to CCR each month. Emily does not have contact with her biological family. She has one brother who lives with an aunt in southern Wisconsin. She also has a half-brother, but his location is unknown. In addition, Emily is a victim of severe neglect and prolonged sexual abuse by more than one individual. As a result, she struggles with not feeling worthy or loved and has difficulty forming healthy relationships.

Youth like Emily can thrive when placed with nurturing foster parents. With the right tools and 24/7 agency support, foster parents can see tremendous growth and healing with their children.

Too many kids in foster care have suffered from unimaginable neglect and abuse.

Kids like Emily come to us with a long list of challenges. Teens with significant trauma often struggle with emotions, behaviors, relationships, and academics. Our goal is to help them heal. CCR foster parents are trained to help kids like Emily who are challenged and burdened with a variety of diagnoses, such as:

Emily is engaging, willingly participates in household chores, likes animals, and loves younger children. Her favorite activity is baking cookies. She says she can't think of negative things when focused on baking. She is not fond of dressing up or polishing nails but prefers using her creativity to draw and paint.

Emily admits she doesn't like school and often does not try her best. She has few friends at school but gets along well with other girls in her group home. Yet, for all, she has been through, she has a positive attitude and wears a smile most of the time.

Less than 20% of kids will be placed in a loving home!

We were disappointed that we could not place Emily in a loving home. Unfortunately, we did not have the right home in the right location to meet her higher needs.

Emily will remain in her current group home until the referring county locates a home for her. On average, CCR receives 40-45 child referrals each month. Unfortunately, less than 20% of kids will be placed in a stable foster home.

We do not have enough foster homes, especially for teenagers like Emily.

Please get in touch with us to learn how you can get started.

Siblings in Foster Care Hope to Stay Together

One of our greatest needs is to license more Wisconsin foster parents to care for sibling groups. We continue to receive referrals from counties across Wisconsin, and more often than not, we do not have foster homes available in the right location to meet the needs of the children. Fostering siblings requires great flexibility and the ability to meet younger kids where they are while getting on a path toward healing. Meet Benjamin, Adam, and Thomas, three little brothers desperate for a foster home to keep them together and handle their elevated needs. 

Siblings in foster care need structure, stability, and flexibility.

This sibling group of three brothers is currently placed with their maternal aunt. She cannot maintain the children in her care due to their aggressive behaviors, level of trauma, and lack of structure and routine. The aunt has no parental experience and limited resources. She is only 24 years old. Her primary support person is her 19-year-old live-in boyfriend. The sibling group had resided with the aunt for three months, before that, they lived with their maternal grandmother, their legal guardian.

The maternal grandmother’s recent homelessness and mental and physical health ailments left the boys needing placement and CPS intervention. Thus, the aunt was located and agreed to care for the boys.

Boy 1

Benjamin is the oldest child. He is a wise 9-year-old. However, he has expressed that he does not always feel safe at his aunt’s home. As a result, he has asked to live with respite providers instead of his maternal aunt. Likewise, 6-year-old Thomas also expresses his desire to live elsewhere.

The Department has received two CPS reports alleging physical abuse of the children since their placement in the aunt’s home.  The most recent report came in over a weekend after the weekend respite provider found large bruises on Thomas' back.

All three boys were interviewed by CPS and expressed their safety concerns regarding their aunt. The boys are not returning at this time as an investigation is in pursuit, and the aunt has verbalized an inability to maintain the three boys. It is unknown what the investigation will uncover.

Foster parents caring for siblings must be resilient.

Benjamin is believed to be the most delayed or behind socially and academically. When compared to his younger brothers. The middle brother, Adam, is eight years old and has been an open book about his feelings and things going on in the home. Adam struggles with the most aggressive behaviors historically (he was kicked out of daycare at a young age), but his involvement with CCS (Comprehensive Community Services) over the past year has shown that he has been able to calm himself, take direction, and have less aggressive behaviors.

When initially placed with the aunt, it is reported that Thomas displayed aggression towards his youngest sibling, Danny, who has been placed with his maternal aunt since birth. Danny is 18 months old (not included in the sibling group of 3 needing placement). Thomas does not show this aggressive behavior while in the care of the regular respite provider. It is believed that Thomas may have been aggressive towards Danny because while in his aunt’s home, Danny is the “baby,” In contrast, Thomas is used to being “the baby” of the family while previously raised by his maternal grandmother.

Thomas has flourished while in respite care with the structure and attention he is provided.

Kids in foster care need to feel safe.

The Department is not looking for placement of Danny as the maternal aunt can adequately provide care for him independently of his three older siblings. The aunt describes that the boys are angry. She feels they are angry because living with their maternal grandmother was not healthy or safe emotionally. However, each boy does great one-on-one and when receiving positive attention and parenting. She reports that the boys would do best if they could remain together. The aunt would like to remain involved as an auntie to the boys but cannot remain a full-time caregiver for all four siblings.

Griese boy

All three boys are participating in individual therapy.  Benjamin and Thomas also have an IEP. All support services would continue in a new foster home.

The boys just transitioned to a new school in January as the aunt could not transport the boys over 30 miles to the school near the grandmother's previous home. Moving to another new school will be difficult, but the transition may go well if structure and stability are present in a new home.

None of the boys are on medication at this time. There are no known health concerns. The aunt would like to set up regular visits with the boys so they can see their baby brother.

Kids are referred to CCR every day. We need your help.

*This blog series highlights actual referrals received. Names are changed to protect privacy.

Shocking Stories from WI Foster Parents with Young Kids

A Wisconsin foster parent is overwhelmed with toddlers in her care and reached out for advice on social media. Sadly, her feelings of frustration, exhaustion, and helplessness are common. If you want to become a foster parent to younger kids these testimonies may be a much-needed reality check. If you think younger kids are easier to foster than older kids these foster moms will give you lots to think about. These foster parent stories are real, raw, and honest.

After one week, foster parents want kids removed.

I think we are going to ask for our placement to be moved. I feel awful and never thought we would be in this position.

A week ago we took a placement with a 3 and 5-year old that the agency didn't know much about. The 5-year-old has nonstop tantrums all day long over everything and anything. The tantrums get physical pretty quick (hitting, kicking, biting, chucking things, and destroying the house). Although we have seen a tiny amount of progress in her, this is exhausting and I don't think we can handle it much longer. It is mentally and physically taking a toll on us and we are running on fumes.

Five foster homes in 6 months compound a child's trauma.

I feel your pain. We just took on two boys three and four, two weeks ago. One of them has non-stop tantrums and does exactly what you described. We try to sit with him in the room and completely ignore him and let him have his tantrums but know that he is not alone. During this time he will punch and head butt and kick and I will protect myself by moving him or standing up against the wall facing the wall and follow guidelines that I am allowed to do what I need to do to stop him from harming me or himself. My foster son has had 5 placements in six months. I believe he is taking back some control and before he is moved he is trying to take control and make us angry so that he gets to move again because that's what he's used to. That might not be it at all but this is some of the worst behaviors I have ever witnessed. I never imagined little kids could be so damaged. It is heartbreaking!

Our 4-year-old did this for the first 8 months we had him. He even climbed on my back and bit me many times. We would have to take everything out of his room and I mean everything except the bed. We recorded many of these episodes to show our caseworker. The caseworker finally agreed to get him an appointment with a doctor who diagnosed him with PTSD and ADD. They gave him medication to help control his behaviors and after a while we saw some improvement. We also got him into daycare for behaviors where he gets to work one on one with someone every day. He is still with us today and has been in our home for 2 years now.

The foster parents left her at daycare because they couldn't deal with her!!

11 months ago we got a 3 1/2-year-old boy that was the same way. He is still with us. He is much improved but still has a lot of room to grow. He ended up having a diagnosis of PTSD. It's been a long hard road but it's worth it and it's nice to see how much he's improved. It certainly wasn't easy and we considered giving up too early on. Now he gets several types of therapy and a lot of services and support including parent coaching for us and other things.

Our 4 yr old was like this and some other issues. He was diagnosed with RAD, mild autism, ADHD, and sound speech disorder! We have had him 14 months and I can say it’s been really hard! If it wasn’t for his therapist and our caseworker we would have given up. We also have his 2-year-old brother now for 17 months and he is one of the reasons we have pushed so hard to help him. The 2-year-old thankfully is just a normal terrible two which isn’t so fun, but we can handle it! Before us, the 4-year-old was in 5 homes in 4 months and left at daycare by two of the homes because the caseworker didn’t have anywhere to take him and they couldn’t handle it anymore. We are setting up child mental health therapy services and hope to get him the help he needs that we can't give him.

Temper tantrums and violence push foster parents to question themselves.

We’ve had our 6-year-old foster daughter for a month now. At first, the tantrums were CONSTANT. Now we’re down to 10-15 per day. It’s getting better and they’re getting shorter.

We took on a 4-year-old girl and 3-year-old sister and we felt the same. We have had them for almost 10 weeks now and have seen big improvements. I felt I couldn't do it at first. She was violent to her sister, screaming, turning the house upside down at least 4 or 5 times a day. We have constantly explained to her that this is now how we behave, lots of positive encouragement for the good things, told her to deal with her anger by scrunching her sheets in her room or blowing up an imaginary balloon. Spent a lot of time in her bedroom during the first few days. Timeouts (time in with me on the couch didn't work at all!) Please give it more time, it may get better quicker than you think.

My foster daughter now 7 was just like this, even included spitting in my face, throwing meals across the room, head butting me. It was horrible in the beginning. And still can be at times. I learned she was acting out because she couldn't express herself and it frustrated her to a point of anger, the only emotion she knew. After several months of OT and counseling, and a lot of patience and one on one time, she's doing so much better. It's not an instant fix and takes a long time but the bond you build with these kids is amazing. I know it's exhausting! Hang in there if you can. With the proper services, it will get better.

Hate and anger are all her foster children knew.

I have 2 kids of my own 8 and 12 and now I have 3 foster kids. They're 3, 6, and 10. They've come from a violent drug-fueled home. Hate and anger are all they know. I still have my days where I don't know how I'll handle it but I know we have so much love to give and things to teach them. All 3 are in therapy and we have not had any crazy tantrums in a couple of months. I feel like we are working through and making progress. Fight for them to get the services they need. We still struggle and days are not always easy but it is so worth it.

Foster parents have a choice. Foster kids do not.

I am a former foster child. In my biological home, I was taught that whoever screamed the loudest and whoever could physically dominate everyone else, was the boss. If you’re looking for only sweet, well-behaved children with no problems, fostering may not be for you. I’m not saying things can’t or won’t change, but it takes, TIME, PATIENCE and CONSISTENCY. If you are able to stick with it, I promise, the payoff is huge!

If you choose not to stick with it, thank you for your honesty and courage. Whatever you choose, make sure you’re sure. You have a choice, the foster kids do not. You may think you’re hiding it, but kids know when you have one foot out the door. They won’t tell you in words, but I promise the behavior will worsen. Thank you for the honesty and vulnerability of your post.

WOW! This is a reality for so many foster parents. Childhood trauma is real and tragic. Although we don't place many kids under age 5 here at CCR, when we do, these are the behaviors we see. The school-age children we place have similar trauma histories and if they have never gotten therapy services, mental health support, or been in a foster home with qualified & trained foster parents, the road can be very difficult.

We are happy to speak with you about different age groups and what fostering may look like for you and your family.

How Old are Kids in Wisconsin Foster Care

Children of all ages enter Wisconsin foster care every day. Many are part of sibling groups and older children over age eight. Deciding to become a foster parent means considering the ages of the children you wish to help. Foster parents can preference foster children by age, but we caution new foster parents not to have a too narrow or specific preference. Here is why.

What is the average age of kids in Wisconsin foster care?

The median age of children in, entering, and exiting foster care in the United States in 2018 was as follows:
ƒ The median age of the children in foster care in 2018 was 7.6 years.
ƒ The median age of children entering foster care in 2018 was 6.1 years.
ƒ The median age of children exiting foster care in 2018 was 7.5 years.

While some kids are in basic foster care homes, others are in treatment foster care homes, many are placed with a relative, and older kids may be in a residential facility or group home. There are typically slightly more males (52%) compared to females (48%), and the age range of kids in Wisconsin foster care is typical to the numbers nationally.

Can I choose the age of kids I want to foster in Wisconsin?

If you click on any of our "Contact Us" options, you will see that we ask about your age preference. Many prospective foster parents will be disappointed to learn that we DO NOT need families wishing to foster kids under the age of 3. Especially babies! Many younger children will be placed with a relative or remain in a county foster home. Private foster agencies rarely place children ages 0-3 unless they are part of a larger sibling group.

We regularly receive inquiries from folks who want to foster to adopt. Dare we say, gently, that foster care should not be used as a means of adopting a child. The goal of foster care is to provide a temporary, safe, healing environment for a child that has been removed from their family home, and reunification with the birth family is the goal over 50% of the time. Does adoption happen? Yes, but if it is the goal, you set yourself up to get a broken heart.

We are blunt here at CCR and quick to tell folks that we cannot consider a license for anyone with the sole goal of adopting a little one.

Wait, you said I could pick the foster kids' age!

So what do we mean exactly? New CCR foster parents must be open to fostering children of school age. We typically break it down into the elementary, middle, and high school—the more expansive your window of preference, the better your chance of getting placements and helping children. The bottom line is if you want to foster little ones, you must be open to fostering any age between 0-12. Many younger children are in foster care with siblings so age ranges can vary within a group.

Fostering teens may be an excellent option for you.

The need never seems to change. Across the country, foster agencies are desperate for new families to accept kids over age 12. Sadly, older youth come with huge stigmas and terrible rumors and are circled with negative stories that they are ALL troubled and can't be helped. There is nothing further from the truth, and we have hundreds of success stories to dismantle those thoughts.

This is an excellent testimony from John, who was in care with us for three years and thrived.

After my sophomore year is when things started happening for me. I felt like I was a part of something; I was beginning to let my foster parents love me. My caseworker Matt (with CCR 16 years), was there for me 100 percent throughout everything. My sophomore year was tough; I sabotaged myself and wished my foster parents would give up on me and have me moved. I tested them for sure! I started turning things around in my junior and senior years. With CCR, there is always somebody there to help you; there is always somebody there to stand by your side and always stick up for you. My foster parents are still like family to me.

What is the average age of a foster child placed in a CCR home?

The vast majority of kids are over age five and in elementary school. Many are sibling groups. Sadly kids between ages 9-12 seem to be the forgotten age group in foster care. Folks think they can "help" little ones more, and almost everyone believes teens will be the most difficult. Both of those statements are untrue! We have hundreds of foster parents that will debunk both of those myths.

We will never talk you into doing something you aren't comfortable with. Nor will we place children in your home that you are not trained and licensed to care for. Remember, Wisconsin foster care has three levels of foster care: 2, 3, and 4. The higher the number a child is given, the higher the level of trauma and emotional and behavioral needs. The higher the license number, the more experience and training a foster home has to care for those children respectively.

We will help you explore which age group might best fit your family. Perhaps you have little kids of your own, maybe you are an empty nester, or you have never been a parent. No worries, we will gently walk you through the options and what that might look like for you and your family.

Contact us anytime. We can't wait to help you explore.

 

 

How Old Are Kids in Foster Care

Wisconsin foster care has over 7,400 kids in out of home care at any time. Ages of foster children range from infant to young adults. If you are interested in how to become a foster parent, one of the biggest decisions you will make is the age range of the foster children you wish to care for. The need for loving foster homes in Wisconsin is desperate. It is important to know your own strengths and weaknesses and what age group will be the best fit for you and your family.

Wisconsin foster parents can choose the children they foster.

One of the first questions you will be asked by a CCR new foster parent adviser is "What age group are you interested in fostering?" Saying you are open to fostering children of any age is not realistic. (Just being honest) Few foster parents can foster all ages successfully. Strengths and weaknesses will surely come into play when parenting foster kids, no different than if you are raising or have raised kids of your own.

New foster parents are encouraged to have an age group preference.

Enjoying certain age groups or feeling you're "better" with specific ages is okay and encouraged. There are too many factors involved for a new foster parent to say they will care for a foster child of ANY age. Obviously caring for a toddler requires a different schedule and requirements than does fostering a 12-year-old. New foster parents must be able to meet the day to day needs of kids and the needs are great.

Considering your flexibility, availability for appointment requirements, drive times, unexpected illness or days off school, holidays and summer vacation, are all factors to think about when considering your age preference.

The "T" word. These kids aren't as scary as you might think!

There is usually no middle ground with this decision. Either foster parents want teens or they don't. We find that prospective foster parents afraid of teens don't really understand what the kids need and what amazing things they can offer this age group.

The majority of teens in foster care haven't had a dependable adult in their life. No adult to trust. No structure, consistency, or support. They are alone and may very well be facing adulthood alone. Teaching life skills, independent living skills, applying for jobs, navigating relationships, learning to drive, all these things require a trusting adult to help teach and guide a teen.

Often times, meeting the emotional needs of a teen can be draining for any parent. Teenagers can certainly test and challenge the best of parents. Patience, good listening skills, trust, belief in a child, and meeting them where they're at are critical to helping a youth heal from past traumas.

Their needs are great and complex but for many foster parents, they love the challenge of breaking through, making progress, and providing hope for a bright future.

How a foster child comes in the door and how they leave can be dramatically and beautifully different.

There are thousands of amazing testimonials from foster parents that have helped change the future of a teen. Unfortunately, the abuses and horrible actions of a very small minority of foster parents is what most of us hear and cling to. Stories of amazing progress and bright futures are rarely talked about unless highlighted on Ellen or social media.

Stories of parents developing lifelong relationships with kids they fostered. Meeting their spouses and children years later. Sharing holidays with former foster youth. If you really want to change the life of a child, foster a teenager. 

Many new foster parents have exceptional skills and patience to care for younger children with trauma.

Teaching a child how to dress, fasten a seat belt, or how to use words instead of actions are all extremely important and part of typical parenting. Bedtime rituals, morning routines, and eating habits almost always require time and patience from any parent. If these day to day exercises and challenges are what you enjoy then fostering younger children might be a great fit for you and your family. However, you must remember, kids in foster care will often come with extra challenges.

So, you think you want to help little kids while they are still young and impressionable.

Many new foster parents think that fostering kids while they are young, allows for more teachable moments. Parenting a child before they are set in their ways or have developed bad behaviors like older kids is a common interest of people exploring fostering. Believing that younger children don't have the behaviors and emotional struggles that older kids and teenagers have is a HUGE misconception. In fact, it can be quite the opposite, depending on the child.

Toddlers and young children in foster care often have heightened needs due to severe neglect.

Is patience your middle name? Do you like hands-on parenting and meeting the ever-changing needs that little ones have? Toddlers and young children in foster care often display a variety of delays and behaviors that can be challenging. Delays with language, processing, hygiene skills, food associations, and inappropriate expressions of frustration are commonplace.

Fostering preschool-age children can be challenging for those not up to the task. Because kids in this age group can often be delayed and cannot always articulate how they feel or what they need, days can be long and frustrating. Behaviors can be heightened or age-inappropriate depending on the abuse or neglect a child experienced. Trauma stunts a child's growth and development and foster parents must understand that this age group will require more from them than what might be expected.

The average age of a child in foster care is 10 years old.

The greatest need in Wisconsin and throughout the country is for kids over the age of 5 and sibling groups. That is true at CCR as well. The average age of boys in our care is 10, the average age for girls is 11. This population is often the least requested for no specific reason, other than folks preferring "little ones" or teens. Many kids in this age group come into care with younger siblings.

A rewarding part of fostering kids in grade or middle school is getting them involved in extracurricular activities and helping them navigate the challenges of school. Remember, until foster care, many kids have not had an adult active in their education, developed healthy relationships with classmates or teachers, or been involved in sports or after school activities.

Getting kids active is imperative to healing from past traumas.

Getting a foster child involved in an extracurricular activity not only occupies their downtime and frees them from electronics, but it also teaches them valuable life skills.

Extracurricular activities expose kids to so many things they have never experienced. Our foster parents have great stories about witnessing kids coming out of their shells, improving relationships with peers, and building confidence.

This age group is rewarding for many foster parents because there are so many positive changes happening at once. Progress is obvious, kids are developing passions and exploring new interests all the time. If there are siblings involved, kids can now share new interests with their brothers and sisters which help relationship development within the family.

What age group interests you now might change over time.

Many foster parents start with one age group and wish to try another age later down the road. At CCR, we do ask that parents have a large enough preference window that will allow for opportunity of placements. For example ages 10 and under, kids between ages 8-13, or teen girls. It is very helpful to have a wide window so that you have ample opportunity to get calls with potential placements.

If you are only interested in babies, you may be waiting for a very long time. Most infants remain in county foster care and are rarely referred to a private agency. The exception may be if the baby is part of a larger sibling group.

The choice is yours. Know your strengths and weaknesses and be confident with what you can offer a child or sibling group in your care. Keep in mind other children in your home, your availability and schedules, and what you know you can offer a child with a traumatic background.

Call us anytime to learn more. 800-799-0450

GET YOUR FOSTER LICENSE IN 100 DAYS! Homes for kids 10-18 are desperately needed.