Foster Parents Struggle to Meet Needs of Foster Child
"Anthony" is eight years old and is in foster care in Wisconsin. He has been in 2 foster homes. His mom is incarcerated, and his dad is not active. His older sister visits with him virtually once a week. Anthony's foster care journey is like so many others. Unstable, bouncing from home to home. We share these profiles, hoping kind-hearted people like you can better understand trauma and what kids in foster care need from foster parents to heal.
Vulnerable children need Wisconsin foster parents to commit.
Previous foster families said his behaviors were too much. They needed more support than their foster agencies could provide, and both families expressed Anthony's need for therapy services. Although both families shared many beautiful qualities, they could not give the boy what he needed. It should also be mentioned that both foster families worked full-time hours with little to no flexibility to meet Anthony's needs. Neither was receiving the necessary support to succeed.
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Foster parents need a foster agency that provides exceptional support.
Foster parents cannot do this work alone; children like Anthony need more than a loving family. They require more than basic parenting skills to heal from trauma. Foster parents must know how to care for kids with trauma histories. Proper training is essential. County agencies that refer kids to CCR trust we have the resources, training, support services, and staff to help kids like Anthony while supporting the families providing care.
CCR staff and families treat trauma. We help kids heal. Right now, we don't have enough foster homes.
Anthony has many beautiful qualities and characteristics. He also has numerous challenges that require more structure, consistency, and patience from foster parents.
He sleeps well, enjoys a variety of foods, and can be a charmer when not in fight-or-flight mode. He loves to play video games and enjoys playing in the bathtub. He likes to be helpful with simple meal prep and prefers to be in the company of adults. He misses his mother and asks about her frequently. He can visit with her virtually every week.
Foster children have wants and needs from foster parents.
Former foster parents reported that Anthony does okay in school for the most part. However, both expressed concerns with social skills, listening, and creating disturbances but agreed that he is interested in learning. He continues to make progress with early reading and struggles with math concepts. He is not at grade level in any subject.
Anthony is a bright, intelligent, and funny boy. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, and PTSD. He often struggles with accepting directives and consequences. He continues to work on de-escalation and coping skills when triggered. He has shown progress in many areas.
Anthony reports wanting a family that won't yell and has too many rules. "I like video games, hugs, spy stuff, and chocolate." He especially likes ramen noodles and slushies and dislikes vegetables, smelly smoke, and mean people.
Anthony needs reminders to wait his turn and give others space. He often struggles when others get more attention than he does, which causes him to act out to gain attention. Providing structure, routines, and house rules will be beneficial for Anthony.
CCR foster parents are prepared and supported to care for kids like Anthony.
Bouncing from foster home to foster home compounds a child's trauma. It isn't easy to heal and grow when moving between homes. CCR prepares foster parents to care for kids with trauma and heightened behaviors, and we provide many essential tools and resources to help kids like Anthony succeed. One of the many ways we support our families is by meeting with them weekly in their homes.
We ensure that services, therapies, and 24/7 support are in place.
We need loving homes with flexible schedules for kids like Anthony. A parent must be available for 2-3 weekly appointments and unplanned interruptions. Having a plan when kids are not in school is also essential.
Sadly, we did not have the right foster home in the right location for Anthony. In cases like this, the referring county is left scrambling to find a foster home.
Please contact us if you would like to learn more about becoming a foster parent with CCR.
How Does Trauma Affect Kids in Wisconsin Foster Care
Children in Wisconsin foster care have experienced at least one traumatic event. Significant loss, abandonment, neglect, and abuse are a few. Our goal is to help Wisconsin foster children heal from childhood trauma while in the care of loving foster parents in a stable home environment. Our foster parents are trained to use trauma-informed care principles to help children on a path to healing.
How does trauma affect kids in foster care?
Trauma is an emotional response to an extreme event or exposure to multiple events. Young and older foster children display various emotions and behaviors not easily understood. Caring for kids with trauma histories requires foster parents to meet additional qualifications to become foster parents. Parenting kids with trauma histories can be challenging, but kids can heal with dependable support services. Traumatic events may include:
Emotional, sexual, and physical abuse
Witnessing family or community violence
Witnessing harm to a loved one or pet
Effects of poverty, including not having enough food to eat
Unpredictable parental behaviors
Witnessing drug use
Exposure to pornography
In addition to the above, entering foster care means being removed from family, friends, and school. Living with strangers and moving from home to home can be very traumatic. CCR provides opportunities for kids to heal while in a CCR foster home beyond what other foster agencies can offer.
Wisconsin foster parents witness a variety of behaviors and emotions.
Trauma can affect children’s behavior in ways that may be confusing or distressing for foster parents. It often impacts the long-term health and well-being of a child. However, foster children can heal and thrive with understanding, care, and proper treatment (when necessary).
School-age children may exhibit:
• Difficulty paying attention
• Attention-seeking or acting out
• Frequent tears or sadness
• Talking often about scary feelings and ideas
• Difficulty transitioning from one activity to the next
• Fighting with peers or adults
• Changes in school performance
• Sexual awareness
• Eating much more or less than peers
• Getting into trouble at home or school
• Frequent headaches or stomachaches with no apparent cause
• Behaviors common to younger children (thumb sucking, bed-wetting, fear of the dark)
Teens in Wisconsin foster care are at high risk of mental health diagnoses.
Our greatest need is foster families wishing to help sibling groups, kids over age eight, and teens. Helping a teen in foster care prepare for adulthood can be very rewarding. Many teens in foster care experience growth and healing simply by living in a loving, family environment. In addition, structure, accountability, and healthy relationships contribute significantly to the healing process.
Teens placed in CCR foster homes may exhibit:
Talking about the trauma constantly or denying that it happened
Refusal to follow the rules or to talk back frequently
Nightmares. Being tired all the time, sleeping much more (or less) than peers
Risky behaviors, fighting
Not wanting to spend time with friends
Using drugs or alcohol
Sexual awareness/activity
Dangerous use of social media/internet
Running away, getting into trouble with the law
CCR kids all have a treatment plan to address trauma histories. Timely, effective cognitive and behavioral health interventions help in the following ways:
Increase a child’s feelings of safety
Teach a child how to manage emotions, particularly when faced with trauma triggers
Help a child develop a positive view of him- or herself
Give a child a greater sense of control over their own life
How to help foster kids with trauma histories.
Identify trauma triggers. It is essential to watch for patterns of behavior and reactions that do not “fit” the situation. What distracts the child, makes them anxious, or results in a tantrum or outburst? Help the child avoid situations that trigger traumatic memories until more healing has occurred.
Be emotionally and physically available. Some traumatized children act in ways that keep adults at a distance (whether they mean to or not). Provide attention, comfort, and encouragement in ways a
a foster child will accept.
Respond, don’t react. Your reactions may trigger a child or youth who is already feeling overwhelmed. When a child is upset, do what you can to keep calm: Lower your voice, acknowledge the child’s feelings, and be reassuring and honest.
Listen well. Don’t avoid complex topics or uncomfortable conversations. (But don’t force children to talk before they are ready.) Taking their reactions seriously reassures them that what happened was not their fault.
Be consistent and predictable. Develop a routine for meals, playtime, schoolwork, and bedtime. Prepare your child in advance for changes or new experiences.
Be patient. Everyone heals differently from trauma, and trust does not develop overnight. Respecting each child’s course of recovery is essential.
Encourage self-esteem. Positive experiences can help foster children recover from trauma and increase resilience.
Contact us today to become a foster parent with CCR and help kids in your community heal.
