Large Sibling Groups Struggle to Find Foster Parents

The number of sibling groups being referred to CCR continues to rise. Young siblings are entering Wisconsin foster care at alarming rates, primarily due to severe neglect. Sibling pairs and large groups are regularly placed in CCR foster homes in counties across Wisconsin. Most CCR foster families care for siblings or more than one child at a time. When their homes are full, we have no choice but to turn away referrals like a recent sibling group of three. Meet Martia, Jaylan, and Miya, siblings recently referred to CCR in hopes of finding a foster home to meet their elevated needs.

Sibling groups in foster care require more than bedroom space.

Wisconsinites familiar with CCR know that our qualifications to become foster parents focus heavily on flexible schedules. In other words, we need foster parents who can attend multiple weekly appointments and be available to kids when needed most, including after-school and summer breaks. Siblings like Martia, Jaylan, and Miya have trauma histories, require school support, and typically need additional outside services. Without day-to-day flexibility, caring for them and managing schedules would be difficult.

Martia recently celebrated her birthday. She is four years old and doing well in many areas, considering the neglectful circumstances she came from. Although she is not speaking as fluid as most children her age, she can express herself appropriately and tries her best to communicate effectively. She is a curious little girl who loves to please. She follows and mimics her older sister, Miya, who has been her mother figure for many years. Her attachment to Miya is not unusual with sibling groups when parents or caregivers have not been present or active in the home.

Martia sleeps well and has a healthy appetite. Although potty trained, she has accidents and wears a pull-up at night for occasional bed-wetting. It is reported that she will have tantrums lasting up to 30 minutes. Martia would benefit from socialization with other young children.

Keeping siblings together in foster care can be challenging.

11-year-old Jaylan is a typical boy in many ways. He loves video games and wants to buy a skateboard. He can be wise for his years and is very protective of his sisters. He has good insight and understands the needs of his sisters more than he should. Jaylan needs reminders to be a child, not a caretaker for his sisters. It causes much stress for him. He does not make friends easily and is working on being more social with his peers.

Jaylan spends much time alone, suffers from low self-esteem, and has been diagnosed with depression. He is reported to have problems with anger and tends to keep to himself. He has witnessed significant violence in his family and has been present during drug use and threatening situations. Although he is good at keeping himself occupied independently, he would do well in a family environment, offering healthy family group activities.

Jaylan is in therapy and a mentoring program at this time. He is in the 6th grade and performs satisfactory work at school. He struggles to complete homework and does not participate in class. He reads and writes below grade level, and math is increasingly difficult. Jaylan does not have any educational needs.

Foster children who have been neglected can have an array of regressive issues.

Miya is nine years old and described as creative and empathetic. Her brother describes her as the peacekeeper of the family. She is quiet and slow to open up, but her kindness is evident when she does. She tends to Martia's wants and needs and often puts her own needs aside.

Animals, music, and art are Miya's favorite things. She loves cats and hopes to have one someday. Miya does not like loud noises or being punished. She has witnessed family violence and gets frightened by yelling and loud voices. It is reported that Miya suffers from regressive issues, including bed-wetting (she wears Pull-Ups), using a teddy bear to comfort herself, and hiding her face when nervous or afraid. She worries about her younger sister and does not trust that caregivers will meet her needs.

Miya does not have any educational needs. She is currently enrolled in individual therapy.

We did not have a foster home for this sibling group.

Sadly, we did not have a foster home in the right location to accommodate all three kids so the referral was passed back to the county. We are truly desperate for more homes in every county location we serve. On average, we receive 45 monthly referrals from counties across the state. We have homes for less than 15% of the children.

Please get in touch with us to learn how to become a foster parent in Wisconsin and help kids like Miya, Jaylan, and Martia.

All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.

New Foster Parents Found for Sibling Group

So many foster parents in counties across Wisconsin are caring for sibling groups. More than 70% of foster children at CCR are in care with at least one sibling. We recently received a referral for a sibling group of three. After spending four weeks in a county foster home, their foster parents gave notice for removal stating the siblings were more than they could manage. After careful exploration and consideration, we placed all three children in a loving, flexible foster home that could meet their higher needs. Here is a bit of their history.

Foster parents need more training and support.

Dominick will be four years old in February. He and his two sisters suffer from prolonged neglect. As a result, each has heightened behaviors and emotions that prove too much for Basic Level Foster Parents. Not because the foster parents didn't have big hearts or best intentions but rather because they were not equipped with the necessary training or support. To successfully care for children with severe trauma, foster parents need more. Likewise, to heal and grow, foster kids need more.

Caring for three kids under age 6 with heightened behaviors is challenging, even for the most seasoned foster parents. Trauma-informed parenting is essential to helping kids heal and promoting successful outcomes. Unfortunately, even the best foster parents can struggle to manage the behaviors and emotions of young children without the necessary training and support services.

The challenge is TRAUMA. In Dominick's case, more than basic parenting skills and minimal support from an agency was needed.

Why must foster parents meet flexibility requirements?

Dominick and his sisters, Mariah, 2, and Marissa, 6, without a doubt, needed foster parents who would utilize trauma-informed parenting skills while readily available to meet their higher needs. In addition, a successful foster home would require a parent available at all times, as daycare was unsuccessful in the previous placement.

He and his sisters were removed from the home after Mariah suffered significant burns on her stomach and chest from the kitchen oven. Mom was home when the incident occurred. She has a history of drug and alcohol abuse and has an on-again, off-again relationship with Mariah's father. Her parental rights have been terminated for six older children.

At nearly four, Dominick is not potty trained, is speech delayed, and struggles with anger, heightened emotions, and behaviors. In addition, he struggles to play or interact appropriately with his sisters,

Dominick went to daycare with Mariah 3 days a week. However, the two were separated due to Dominick's aggressive behavior toward his sister. The staff contacted the foster mom several times concerning his behavior and reported that most days were spent redirecting or separating Dominick from other children.

Trauma is present in what may appear to be normal sibling rivalry.

The previous foster mom reported that Dominick has difficulty sleeping at night and wakes others in the house with screaming and wall kicking. In addition, he and his older sister fight for attention constantly. Hitting, kicking, biting, and pushing were common occurrences, and increased supervision was required when the children were in the same room.

He communicates his needs and wants somewhat effectively and figures out quickly how things work. He requires direct, line-of-sight supervision and 1:1 attention, which he does well with. He can count to 5 and knows some of his colors. He is easily triggered when he does not get the attention he seeks. On the other hand, he can be a very sweet, affectionate boy.

It was recommended that Dominick be placed in a new foster home without pets as he had taken his frustrations out on the family dog several times, but he was never hurt. In addition, it was noted that Dominick must be separated from his sisters when dressing due to the use of inappropriate language in the presence of his sisters.

Attention-seeking behaviors are commonplace.

Dominick loves music, which helps keep him focused and calm during diaper changes, teeth brushing, and bathing. He loves putting on his shoes and rides very well in his car seat, if not within reach of Marissa. He washes his hands well and will often help clear his place after meals. He does well with positive affirmations and loves a loud "great job." However, he is easily upset if his sisters get positive attention and will push Mariah or throw toys or objects at both girls.

The previous foster mom stated the kids could grow and heal if they are in the right environment and get needed services. However, a 30-day notice was given by the family because the three kids together were too much to handle. The foster mom worked three days a week, and her husband worked Monday-Friday, often returning home at 6 pm. Along with their biological children, 9 and 12, managing everybody was more than they anticipated.

Kids in foster care can thrive if given the necessary services and support.

There has been a noticeable change in the siblings in the six weeks spent in their current CCR foster home. Most notably, Dominick responds very well to being at home with their foster mom vs. going to daycare. The 1:1 attention and heightened supervision needed made it difficult for him to succeed at daycare. It is not uncommon for kids with significant trauma to struggle in a daycare environment.

Mealtime continues to be a struggle, particularly for Marissa and Dominick, but the kids are trying more foods and learning about healthy eating. Bedtime and bath routines are very lengthy but overall successful. Meltdowns are still common with Mariah and Dominick but using Trauma-Informed parenting tools helps, as well as the 24/7 support of their Clinical Case Manager.

All three children visit with their mom once per week. Mariah also visits with her father. In addition, the assigned CCR Clinical Case Manager visits the home each week for approximately 2.5 hours. Weekly support visits are provided to all CCR foster families.

"There is a lot of history there that needs to be unpacked and explored." noted their previous foster mom. "Dominick's violent tendencies can be frightening, but at the same time, he is a loveable little boy."

This sibling group is the second placement for the CCR foster family. They do not have other children living at home or pets, which seems helpful to all three kids. The foster mom works part-time, two evenings each week, and her husband works full-time days, arriving home by 4:30. They are supported by friends and local family and are taking things one day at a time with the kids. Both are hopeful that all three kids will continue to thrive in their home.

Understanding trauma and using trauma-informed parenting are crucial to helping kids heal. Therefore, all CCR foster parents are trained to use trauma-informed tools and receive great support from our highly trained staff. As a result, kids like Dominick and his sisters can heal with proper treatment. Together, our staff and foster parents have witnessed hundreds of kids with significant trauma heal and grow in our 33 years of providing treatment foster care.