Wisconsin Foster Parents Needed for Autistic Kids

Kaylie is a happy, busy 10-year-old girl in Wisconsin foster care. She has Jacobsen's Syndrome and autism. She was referred to CCR from a Wisconsin county foster agency in hopes of finding a foster family with a flexible schedule to meet her higher needs. Here are some highlights about Kaylie:

Wisconsin foster parents needed for kids with ASD

Kaylie is primarily non-verbal but can communicate most of her needs. She is enrolled in special education and is currently in the 4th grade. She struggled with school attendance in her last two foster homes, which has definitely affected her progress and ability to learn. Previous teachers report that Kaylie does well when she consistently attends school.

Girl on swing

Kaylie does well with call-and-response, mimicking activities, showing needs, and using visual boards. Most days, her behavior is calm, and learning goes well; however, she can become angry, aggressive, and resistant on other days. 

Fostering kids with autism requires creativity and flexibility

Kaylie loves music, dancing, and singing. She enjoys making music by clapping, stomping, and using wooden spoons on various containers. Dancing with a partner brings a huge smile to her face. Kaylie loves boxes! She will play with empty cereal boxes and cracker boxes for hours, filling, folding, and dumping things out repeatedly. 

Creating a supportive home environment is crucial for Kaylie's well-being. She can become easily frustrated and upset, so having a safe space for her to calm down is important. Modifying the home environment with dim lighting, calming music, and soft surfaces can greatly contribute to her comfort. 

Weekly visits with biological family are supervised.

foster child

Kaylie loves weekly visits with her mom and gets very excited when she first sees her mother. Kaylie feels tired the day after her visits and struggles to wake up for school. All activities are a challenge when Kaylie feels tired.

An experienced foster home or one with autism experience is desired.

Kaylie requires additional supervision and care so a home with a flexible or at-home parent is preferred. Previous foster parents have recommended that Kaylie not be placed in a home with children under age seven. She requires too much attention and can be difficult to handle while tending to the needs of younger kids. Although Kaylie has not demonstrated any harm to family pets, a pet-free home is preferred. 

The great news is we found a loving, flexible CCR home for Kaylie! There will be others like her referred to us. If you are interested in caring for kids with ASD, we would love to speak with you. Of course, we always need homes for siblings and older kids too.

All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.

 

 

 

Ask This Before Becoming a Foster Parent in Wisconsin

If you want to become a foster parent in Wisconsin, it is important to do research and ask questions of the foster agency. Learning everything you can before committing to an agency will be beneficial when caring for foster children in your home. Most people know the basic questions to ask, but one question stands out. There is one question everyone should ask of a foster agency.

The first step to becoming a foster parent in Wisconsin.

The CCR team answers calls, emails, instant messages, and texts from prospective foster parents daily. We answer dozens of questions on how to qualify and the steps to become a foster parent. We address everyone individually and personally. We do not offer generic group information sessions or send out packets of information to be explored at home. We want folks to have ALL the foster care answers needed to make the best decision for themselves and their family. Transparency and honesty are promised to everyone inquiring.

Popular questions about becoming a Wisconsin foster parent:

We speak with hundreds of Wisconsinites every year about foster parenting. Sometimes, it is a quick message; most times, it is a 15-20 minute phone call. It all depends on how many questions are asked and how much information is desired. With big hearts and eagerness to help, the majority of people ask the following questions:

Not quite sure what questions to ask us? We have the experience to help.

We understand that, in most cases, people don't know what questions to ask about becoming a foster parent. That is precisely why CCR has a retired foster parent available to answer calls and handle all inquiries. Speaking with someone who has fostered children and understands the exploration and decision-making process is a real benefit to people considering foster parenting. From the first contact with CCR, folks know we are here to help with honesty.

Ask as many questions as possible, but remember the most important question!

Remember when a teacher said, "There are no dumb questions." That is true here at CCR as well. Ask us anything, big or small. We promise to be honest and transparent.

ccr support team

The most important to ask a foster care agency is:

How will your agency support me when I have a foster child(ren) placed in my home?

The answer you get should be the determining factor in choosing a foster agency. SUPPORT. Foster parents cannot do this work alone. The primary reason foster parents quit or transfer to a different agency is the lack of agency support. What is promised, and what will be delivered?

Ask these specific questions about the support you will receive as a foster parent.

Social services are plagued with high employee turnover and burnout. Specifically, ask what the average length of employment is for case managers. In addition, be sure to ask the following questions, as they are crucial to foster parent success and the ability for kids to heal in a stable environment.

Support is Second

It takes a team to care for kids in foster care. Successful foster parents are part of a team working together for children's best interests. The CCR team is dedicated to serving and supporting families and children. For 34 years, helping children heal from trauma has been our number one goal. We do that with a team effort, and we genuinely believe that the support we provide our foster parents is better than any agency in Wisconsin.

Call us anytime. Ask us about support services and what we will do for you while kids are placed in your home!

 

Siblings in Foster Care Hope to Stay Together

One of our greatest needs is to license more Wisconsin foster parents to care for sibling groups. We continue to receive referrals from counties across Wisconsin, and more often than not, we do not have foster homes available in the right location to meet the needs of the children. Fostering siblings requires great flexibility and the ability to meet younger kids where they are while getting on a path toward healing. Meet Benjamin, Adam, and Thomas, three little brothers desperate for a foster home to keep them together and handle their elevated needs. 

Siblings in foster care need structure, stability, and flexibility.

This sibling group of three brothers is currently placed with their maternal aunt. She cannot maintain the children in her care due to their aggressive behaviors, level of trauma, and lack of structure and routine. The aunt has no parental experience and limited resources. She is only 24 years old. Her primary support person is her 19-year-old live-in boyfriend. The sibling group had resided with the aunt for three months, before that, they lived with their maternal grandmother, their legal guardian.

The maternal grandmother’s recent homelessness and mental and physical health ailments left the boys needing placement and CPS intervention. Thus, the aunt was located and agreed to care for the boys.

Boy 1

Benjamin is the oldest child. He is a wise 9-year-old. However, he has expressed that he does not always feel safe at his aunt’s home. As a result, he has asked to live with respite providers instead of his maternal aunt. Likewise, 6-year-old Thomas also expresses his desire to live elsewhere.

The Department has received two CPS reports alleging physical abuse of the children since their placement in the aunt’s home.  The most recent report came in over a weekend after the weekend respite provider found large bruises on Thomas' back.

All three boys were interviewed by CPS and expressed their safety concerns regarding their aunt. The boys are not returning at this time as an investigation is in pursuit, and the aunt has verbalized an inability to maintain the three boys. It is unknown what the investigation will uncover.

Foster parents caring for siblings must be resilient.

Benjamin is believed to be the most delayed or behind socially and academically. When compared to his younger brothers. The middle brother, Adam, is eight years old and has been an open book about his feelings and things going on in the home. Adam struggles with the most aggressive behaviors historically (he was kicked out of daycare at a young age), but his involvement with CCS (Comprehensive Community Services) over the past year has shown that he has been able to calm himself, take direction, and have less aggressive behaviors.

When initially placed with the aunt, it is reported that Thomas displayed aggression towards his youngest sibling, Danny, who has been placed with his maternal aunt since birth. Danny is 18 months old (not included in the sibling group of 3 needing placement). Thomas does not show this aggressive behavior while in the care of the regular respite provider. It is believed that Thomas may have been aggressive towards Danny because while in his aunt’s home, Danny is the “baby,” In contrast, Thomas is used to being “the baby” of the family while previously raised by his maternal grandmother.

Thomas has flourished while in respite care with the structure and attention he is provided.

Kids in foster care need to feel safe.

The Department is not looking for placement of Danny as the maternal aunt can adequately provide care for him independently of his three older siblings. The aunt describes that the boys are angry. She feels they are angry because living with their maternal grandmother was not healthy or safe emotionally. However, each boy does great one-on-one and when receiving positive attention and parenting. She reports that the boys would do best if they could remain together. The aunt would like to remain involved as an auntie to the boys but cannot remain a full-time caregiver for all four siblings.

Griese boy

All three boys are participating in individual therapy.  Benjamin and Thomas also have an IEP. All support services would continue in a new foster home.

The boys just transitioned to a new school in January as the aunt could not transport the boys over 30 miles to the school near the grandmother's previous home. Moving to another new school will be difficult, but the transition may go well if structure and stability are present in a new home.

None of the boys are on medication at this time. There are no known health concerns. The aunt would like to set up regular visits with the boys so they can see their baby brother.

Kids are referred to CCR every day. We need your help.

*This blog series highlights actual referrals received. Names are changed to protect privacy.

Can I Be a Foster Parent?

Wisconsin needs foster parents as diverse as the kids/youth care. More foster parents are needed in counties across Wisconsin. CCR welcomes a diverse pool of foster parents, including differences in age, race, ethnicity, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, education, and financial means. Who you love, where you live, and how much money you make aren't important - we recognize that what matters most is that you have the love, time, and patience to care for a child with heightened trauma temporarily.

Anyone can apply to be a foster parent.

Married, single, partnered, divorced, or widowed. Your relationship status doesn't matter to the kids in foster care or us. Families come in many different shapes and sizes, and we assess everyone who applies to foster similarly. Some children in care may benefit from being placed with a single foster parent. Others may thrive from the balance of a nuclear, two-parent household. A widower might be the perfect match for a boy in care. As long as you are 25, you will need a support system and a flexible schedule regardless of your relationship status.

Abney1 2

LGBTQ hoping to be a foster parent, you've come to the right place.

We proudly support the LGBTQ community, believing everyone should have an equal chance to foster a  child. Your self-identity or sexual preferences should not be a concern or prevent you from becoming a foster parent. CCR aims to place as many children as possible in loving, stable homes where healing can happen. Equality is our approach, and placing more children in need into the arms of more loving foster parents is what we’re here to do.

Dave Ryan1

We're looking for foster parents who want to make a difference and meet kids where they are at. Some youth feel more secure and accepted with LGBTQ foster parents. Many youth benefit from a gender-affirming foster home. There are hundreds of kids longing to be accepted and loved. We need more foster parents who want to learn about trauma and how to parent children with trauma histories. We will teach and guide you no matter who you are, how you identify, or who you love.

Foster parents come from a variety of backgrounds.

There are over 7,400 kids in Wisconsin foster care from all corners of the state. Each child is as different as the families caring for them. Having a wide variety of families is essential to meet the children's individual needs. No matter your race, ethnicity, or national origin, we welcome you to foster with us to help us build an even more robust, diverse nurturing community.

Do you have a high school diploma? Perhaps you never completed high school. That's okay. There is no higher education degree required to be a foster parent. We currently need foster parents of all educational backgrounds in the 60 county locations we serve.

Kids or no kids either is okay.

Many CCR foster parents have biological children. Others have stepchildren, adopted kids, or guardianship. Many CCR foster parents do not have children. They may have nieces or nephews or have worked with children, coached, or volunteered with kids in the community. All are welcome to explore fostering with us. Any experience with children/youth is valuable. Being open-minded and willing to learn how to parent using trauma-informed skills will be necessary.

Tourdot

What do people believe disqualifies you from becoming a foster parent?

Criminal background or problematic past.

Maybe you found yourself walking a different path in previous years. Perhaps you have minor offenses in your past that you're worried might stop you from fostering. You may even have a felony from years ago. Sometimes the challenges a person has faced, or their life experiences are precisely why they would be a successful foster parent. Please talk with us; we can tell you if your history will allow or prevent you from fostering a child. Most misdemeanors and many felonies will not disqualify you from fostering.

Renting vs. owning a home.

Do I need to own a house to be a foster parent? No. You need a home suitable for fostering, with bedroom space for a foster child or siblings. In addition, you must be free from any form of housing assistance. Foster parents live in various home types, including; apartments, townhomes, trailer homes, and duplexes. Homes must be safe and meet all state licensing requirements. Our team will guide you through the legal and safety requirements of preparing your home to welcome foster children.

Family pets and farm animals.

The majority of our foster families have pets. From dogs and cats to cows and chickens, pets and farm animals can often be a comforting friend to a foster child. However, ensuring that any pets in your household can live safely alongside foster youth is essential. Pets will be assessed as part of the process in areas such as behavior and temperament, and vet records demonstrating up-to-date shots are required. In addition, not all children can be successful living with pets. If a child has a known history of animal aggression or fear of animals, we will search for an appropriate foster home without animals.

ethan dog 2

Being financially stable.

It does not matter how much or how little income you have. What matters is that you are financially stable. The ability to pay your bills on time and take care of your household using your income is required. CCR foster parents must be free of housing assistance and food stamps. Any disability benefits will be reviewed to ensure that proper care of the children can be met.

Personal experiences 

Your childhood and adult experiences may help you connect with a child/youth and relate to their trauma history. Every foster parent has something different to offer a child. What matters most is that you desire to learn about childhood trauma and can provide a stable and structured environment. Your life experiences, bad or good, could make you the perfect match for a child/youth in foster care.

We need foster homes with flexible schedules in all corners of Wisconsin. We especially need more homes wishing to help siblings and teens. Please contact us anytime to discuss your interest and learn more about fostering with us. 

 

Wisconsin Foster Parent Learns About Trauma from 5-year-old

I wanted to become a foster parent for as long as I can remember. My dream was to foster a younger child under the age of ten. I am a single foster parent with no children of my own, so I safely assumed fostering would come with many challenges. I didn't realize how important it would be to have a team behind me—a dedicated team of professionals with many years of experience working with foster children. Until I received a lengthy email on the first day of school, I also had no idea what I would need from my child's teacher. 

Being a foster parent will bring challenges and rewards.

becoming a foster parent

I honestly did not know how much kids were hurting and how many disappointments most had. The day I called CCR to get information about becoming a foster parent was the first I heard about childhood trauma and trauma-informed care. They explained the long-term effects of neglect and abuse on younger children and what that can look like for foster parents. I gained insight into my strengths and how my skills and personal experiences might contribute to helping children heal. I learned that love alone would not be enough, and I would struggle to succeed without proper support.

I became a foster parent and got my first placement quickly.

I didn't know how long it might take to get a call, and I worried if I was ready to take on the responsibility of parenting someone else's child. Self-doubt took over. Although my case manager said my feelings were "normal," I questioned myself. The call came much sooner than I anticipated!

Jaydeen was a tiny 5-year-old that came to my home wide-eyed and full of energy. Lots of energy! Without a doubt, it wasn't always positive energy. The first few days, okay months, were a challenge. Jaydeen lacked any semblance of structure. She struggled to listen, and there were no boundaries with play, mealtime, or bedtime. It was a lot to witness initially, and I immediately depended on my case manager and Jaydeen's teacher to reassure me. 

My foster child's first day of school was filled with challenges. 

how to adopt a child

I drove Jaydeen to school with extreme trepidation and nearly cried when I left her. We had been together for just a few days. I wondered if the teacher could handle her with the other children in the classroom. Jaydeen struggled in all the ways CCR told me a child her age might. 

In addition to living with me, a stranger, Jaydeen, had been torn from family, friends, and school. I prayed her teacher would have a successful first day with her. I didn't anticipate the trauma-informed care principles her teacher would apply on day one. I received an email detailing Jaydeen's first day; it was insightful and gave me much hope.

Good evening; I wanted to give you an idea of how Jaydeen's day went.

When Jaydeen came to school, she did a great job lining up and following the class into school. When we get into school, frog stickers are on the floor the students stand on while waiting to use the bathroom. Jaydeen was having trouble standing on the frog and began running down the hallway. It escalated when I asked her to stop, and she kept running. After using the bathroom, students hung up their items, and Jaydeen did this beautifully.

Class begins with circle time. Jaydeen did not sit in the circle but instead played at a table with some manipulatives. I put them out for her in advance, anticipating that sitting still on her first day may be challenging. (I've seen this before) Unfortunately, during our circle time, she began playing in all centers and throwing toys at us to get our attention. We continued with circle time, ignoring the behavior, and she stopped. Her behavior adjustment was very encouraging.

Ignoring negative behaviors worked well at times.

During playtime, Jaydeen ran around the room and screamed on and off very loudly. She knocked kids' toys over and watched them react. When I approached her, she ran away. We gently asked her to stop and explained that it was not safe, and she calmed down a bit. When Jaydeen is NOT getting a reaction or attention, she will stop some negative behavior.

I had another adult in my room, and she asked Jaydeen to play a game. She settled down for about 10 minutes and played a few games in the quiet area. After that, she played calmly with a few of the other students. She was enjoying her playtime. The adult played with her in another center, but she started hitting her. I tried to engage her in more calming activities, but that wasn't easy. She did manage to work nicely in the art center for a brief time with me.

The day was long, but there were many positive behaviors.

During clean-up time, Jaydeen took the timer and ran out the door down the hallway. She came back and said, "I hid the timer." I didn't react and said it was time to clean up and go home. Jaydeen returned to the room with the timer and helped clean up the classroom. She got ready to go and lined up nicely with the other kids. She waited quietly and patiently for you to pick her up.

foster parent training

The safety of all children is paramount.

I know this is new to her, and you and I will continue to use tools to encourage positive behavior. However, please understand that the safety of all children is paramount. I am hopeful that she will get into a routine with consistency and time.

I hope this email isn't too overwhelming. Feel free to let me know if I can help in any way.

WOW! WOW! Her first day at a new school brought out so many behaviors. More than I had witnessed at home. These are the things that CCR taught in the foster parent training. Teachers and seasoned foster parents expect actions like these from kids with significant trauma, especially severely neglected children. Jaydeen's teacher and my case manager saw it from day one. I am so blessed that both women are part of my team on my foster parenting journey. 

Her teacher did everything right!

What I appreciate most is that her teacher looked for positive ways to redirect Jaydeen. Also, trauma-informed care practices allowed many positive outcomes throughout the school day. Most importantly, she continued with patience and encouragement. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have a disruptive student in the classroom.

Several weeks have passed, and Jaydeen is making progress daily at home and school. Her teacher communicates with me regularly so that we are both on the same page. Trauma is ugly. Trauma is real. Most importantly, I truly believe that kids can heal from trauma!

Please get in touch with CCR or call anytime. The staff will help anyone explore how to become a foster parent. 800-799-0450

 

Kids in Foster Care Trying to Survive Trauma

Children are in Wisconsin foster care for a wide variety of reasons. Every reason creates or stems from a traumatic experience or series of experiences. We have written many blogs about kids referred to CCR. We share as much information as we can while protecting the child's privacy. Our goal is to help prospective foster parents understand trauma and its effects on children. Sadly, we share another unimaginable story of a 12-year-old girl who needed a loving home.

Wisconsin foster care is full of kids trying to survive their trauma.

We often tell prospective foster parents to focus on a child's presenting issues and behaviors vs. the child's age. Many new foster parents that want to foster younger children discover quickly that kids can present much younger than their age. Tasha is an example of a child whose behaviors and emotions do not match her age. Although she is 12 years old, Tasha behaves like a much younger child with regular outbursts and attention-seeking behaviors. Although in sixth grade, Tasha has an IEP (Individual Education Plan) and struggles socially with peers. Her exposure to a tragic and frightening incident compounded her trauma to another level.

girl on the swing zk4JNuPO SBI 300199687 1

Tasha has a tough time when told "no" and has been known to scream profanities when angry. At 12 years old, her behaviors are more like a younger child throwing a tantrum. Door slamming and foot-stomping are commonplace. She was not disciplined by her biological parents and was provided with little structure or boundaries. A history of neglect has taken its toll on Tasha, and the only way she knows how to express herself is through heightened, unhealthy behaviors.

CCR foster parents use trauma-informed parenting tools to help kids.

The CCR clinical staff says "basic" parenting skills don't work with kids with trauma. They are right. All CCR families complete trauma-informed care training to gain the knowledge and tools needed to care for kids with trauma histories. Kids like Tasha do not respond to basic discipline tactics and logical consequences. Studies on children like Tasha show that severe deprivation or neglect: disrupts how children's brains develop and process information, thereby increasing the risk for attentional, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral disorders. Using trauma-informed parenting skills helps kids like Tasha learn, heal, and grow.

Neglect accounts for 78% of all child maltreatment cases nationwide,

Tasha's biological father is deceased, and she lived with her mother and stepfather until late 2021. Her mother and stepfather have a long history of drug addiction and domestic violence; both were addicted to Opiates, as was her stepfather's sister Joanne. Tasha was regularly in the presence of adults using drugs. Tragically, Tasha witnessed Joanne overdose and pass away in the family's home. Her stepfather told Tasha to call the police and give false information during the overdose. When the police arrived, they found drugs accessible to Tasha and subsequently removed her from home, and she was placed in a county foster home.

drugs scaled

County foster homes are often unable to meet the higher needs of foster children.

Tasha's foster parents gave written notice to have her removed from their home. The foster parents stated they struggled to regulate Tasha's attention-seeking behaviors and found caring for their four biological children very difficult while tending to her heightened needs. Both foster parents worked outside the home and utilized afterschool care for Tasha. She struggled in the unstructured environment. The couple believed that Tasha required additional services not currently provided, and the county agency agreed.

The case was referred to CCR in hopes of matching Tasha with a family offering a parent available to her at all times outside of school hours. The ideal foster home would not have other children living in the house to provide Tasha with much-needed one-on-one attention. In addition, an experienced foster home using trauma-informed parenting tools would be best for her.

The referring county's goal was to reunify Tasha with her family. It was anticipated that she would need a foster family to commit to at least an 18-month period. Sadly, we did not have a CCR foster home available in the right location that could meet Tasha's needs. Tasha is one of over a dozen kids near her age that we could not place this month.

Foster parents are needed in all counties for kids like Tasha.

Referrals are pouring in at CCR, and we do not have enough homes for all the children. Many are sibling groups, and a large number are over age eight. They are good kids that need more than what a basic Level 2 foster home can provide. They need treatment services to address their trauma and foster parents willing to learn about trauma-informed parenting.

Tasha is a perfect example of why CCR requires all foster parents to have a flexible schedule with a parent available when kids are not in school. Kids with significant trauma histories need a structured, stable home environment utilizing trauma-informed care parenting tools. They have difficulty succeeding in daycare, afterschool programs, and summer camps. We

Our experienced team is dedicated to foster parents and kids to ensure foster parents feel supported and kids have ample opportunities to heal.

All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.

 

Foster Mom of 5 Siblings Loves Being a Foster Parent

I have always wanted to be a foster parent for sibling groups.

My name is Heather; I am a stay-at-home Wisconsin foster parent and cannot express enough how amazing CCR has been for my family and me. When I first looked into how to become a foster parent, I reached out to a local private agency and my county foster care agency. It took many phone calls and several weeks to get return calls or an information packet in the mail. I was frustrated already and had barely begun. I found CCR online while doing more research and made the call. They answered immediately and talked with me for nearly an hour! My husband and I were licensed a couple of months later. That is quick!

We received placement of a large sibling group 11 days after licensing. Very quick! We instantly went from a family of 4 (soon to be 5) to a family of 9 (soon to be 10). Yes, I was pregnant, had two kids of my own, and said yes to fostering a large sibling group. Our dream! We are thrilled and blessed to foster these five precious kids. Here is a quick story of how we got to be a family of 10.

Heather Doherty

All foster parents deserve 24/7 support and transparent communication.

We chose CCR for MANY reasons. Just the first phone call alone, I could tell how much they genuinely care about the children that have to go through this challenging process. They have a fantastic training course with so many members to help you and answer any questions along the way. Unlike most agencies, with CCR, you will ALWAYS be able to get ahold of someone to talk to about anything that comes up at any time of day or night.
My husband and I wanted to foster sibling groups to help them stay together. These children often find themselves at CCR because it is hard to find homes to take all the children together. I admit I thought it was a little invasive, knowing we would have a case manager in our house every week. But oh my goodness, it’s AMAZING. I love my case manager Wanda! At least for the first month, that poor lady was getting phone calls from me daily! Sometimes a few a day! She answered and talked me through all my questions and concerns or even vented about what’s happening with my bio children!

There are so many siblings in foster care.

We wish we could live in a world where foster parents weren’t needed, and kids were safe at home. Unfortunately, that’s not the case, and more and more kids are being removed daily. Neglect, all forms of abuse, death in the family, or even the parents just needing a little help to get back on their feet. I look at my foster children every day, and my heart hurts knowing that there are kids out there falling through the cracks or hiding their pain from what’s happening at home, so nobody knows.
Even the thought that maybe without my husband and I, they would be separated and in different homes away from each other makes my heart hurt. All five kids have been a blessing to our family.
I’m so blessed to be a part of the CCR family and am so thankful for the kiddos in my home. Watching them and guiding them to overcome their trauma and hardships can be challenging at times but amazingly worth it.
Please consider fostering. Don’t think you have the room? Call and ask. Don’t think you have the time? Call and ask. Don’t think you have the financial means? Call and ask. If you have the heart to do it and the patience, I promise you it’s worth it.
Some so many kids need a home. One loving home could change their life completely.
If you have any questions, please reach out to CCR or even ask to talk with me. I am willing to help in any way I can.
Sincerely,
Heather, proud CCR foster mom of 8.

Foster Parents With Little Kids Have Big Challenges

Becoming a foster parent requires serious consideration of the ages of foster children you wish to help. There is a large misconception that teens are horrible and little ones are adorable. That couldn't be farther from the truth in most cases. In the 31 years we have supported foster families; we see a repeated trend. New foster parents think they want to foster little kids but can quickly have a change of heart after actually doing it. Without agency support and a basic understanding of childhood trauma, foster parents can struggle to foster younger children. Let's explore:

Wisconsin foster parents needed to help younger siblings.

Two young brothers were recently referred to us by a county agency hoping to find a suitable foster home. Adam is five years old; he and his 6-year-old brother Aiden desperately need a foster family to meet their higher needs. The boys have been living with their maternal grandmother for five months, but she has expressed that she can no longer care for the boys long-term. She has reported being emotionally and physically exhausted. She hopes the county can find her grandsons a suitable home to handle and address their behaviors, delays, and emotions.

There is no family interaction plan at this time. Mom is not responding to the county worker, and other family members are unable and unwilling to care for the boys.Foster child with worried look on face

Aiden is in kindergarten. Adam is enrolled in a pre-K program. Both boys struggle socially with their peers, and neither is at age level developmentally. Aiden is more independent than Adam and can play alone for short periods. Adam struggles with independent play and craves individual attention. Adam has difficulty expressing himself due to a speech pediment and often expresses his frustration with anger and meltdowns. He is working with a speech therapist as it is difficult to understand some of his words and speech patterns.

Both boys enjoy being with other children but have difficulty reading social cues and respecting personal space. Adam is quick to interact with other children but often isn't included in play due to his assertiveness. His inability to play with boundaries has been a concern of the preschool staff. He is often redirected or given a task to divert him from a situation. He is a very energetic child and enjoys playing outside with Aiden and building with Legos.

Keeping siblings together is a struggle in foster care.

Aiden is a good listener and generally follows directions and expectations. He can play too rough with his brother at times but is sensitive to his brother's needs. He is behind in school but enjoys going. Both boys were drug-affected infants and suffered severe neglect before removal from the home. It is reported that Aiden has some memories of witnessing family violence and drug use.

It is important that the boys be placed together with older children or no other children in the home. Their need for individual attention would be difficult for a single working parent or parents with younger children in the house. A two-parent home is desired, ideally with one parent at home, to meet individual needs and Adams's constant desire for one-on-one interaction. The connection to their maternal grandmother will be essential to maintain. She has requested the boys be allowed to visit with her when possible.

The boys are similar to many other young siblings in foster care. Neglect and domestic violence have traumatic effects on developing minds, leading to behaviors and emotions that don't always make sense to the outside world. That is where trauma-informed parenting tools are essential. A recent post made by a foster mom on a social media feed resembles the needs and history of Aiden and Adam.

Foster mom takes to social media asking for help.

We've had our sibling set for three months now: a four-year-old girl (turning 5 in a month) and a six-year-old boy. Our foster son is in first grade, and we have struggled to find a suitable daycare or pre-k program for our foster daughter. She is needy, wanders, and struggles with attention. She has severe attachment issues. She is NOT like a typical four-year-old. She does NOT play with toys, EVER! She instead follows me around all day, sits on me, touches me, and asks questions I know she knows the answers to. She does things she knows she shouldn't be doing as soon as I turn away for a split second. I am not even a little bit overdramatic here either. My patience is wearing so thin.

I sit with her during breakfast, play with her after breakfast, color together, or work on some Pre-K stuff I've printed from home; I let her sit and snuggle with me for a little bit. I don't know what else to do! I encourage her to be independent, but she doesn't get it. She comes right back to me. I struggle to do dishes, laundry, or other chores. I understand she is little and has been traumatized, but this is hard! Even when big brother is home from school, he goes and plays...she still follows my every move. Please be kind with any advice, I am trying my best, and I do not want to disrupt this placement.

foster mom pulling at her hair frustrated

WOW! This struggling foster mom needs the support of a great agency and continued trauma-informed care training. In addition, her foster daughter would greatly benefit from a CANS evaluation. A tool designed to measure the strengths and needs of a child to get necessary support and therapy services. THIS is why many foster parents ask for kids to be removed from their homes. It is also why many foster parents transition to care for older kids. It is a lot. It is exhausting. It is VERY different than parenting well-adjusted children from stable, structured environments.

Foster parents need 24/7 support.

The fact is, she is not alone. So many foster parents caring for younger children are overwhelmed. Their agency often does not fully support them, and they are not trained in trauma-informed care principles. Fostering kids with trauma is NOT like caring for well-adjusted kids. These kids have a lot going on, and foster parents need to have the skills and tools to help their kids successfully.

There are hundreds of sibling groups like Aiden and Adam in Wisconsin foster care. Like the foster mom above, many foster parents share stories online and ask for much-needed advice and support. At CCR, we receive 40-50 referrals each month from counties across Wisconsin looking for a suitable home for kids like these brothers. If you are interested in fostering, we would love to speak with you. We will educate you, train you, and support you to care for kids with higher levels of trauma. OR, you can jump in and foster older kids if caring for littles isn't the best fit for you.

Best Books About Foster Care

What are the best books about foster care?

If you are exploring how to become a foster parent, you have many questions. Sometimes talking with us is all a prospective foster parent needs. For others, a good book might do the trick. So, what are the best books to read about foster parenting? We have compiled a list of some of our favorites and some of the most recommended by our CCR foster parents in Wisconsin.

Top books every foster parent needs to read.

The recommended books are in no particular order and are just a small selection of great books available about fostering. Each book listed addresses different struggles, strategies, practices, reflections, personal experiences, and approaches. We hope that you will take the time to explore all of the books about foster care and foster parenting. Each title links Amazon for ease of purchasing the book if you wish.

The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind: by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

A revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. The “upstairs brain,” which makes decisions and balances emotions, is under construction until the mid-twenties. The right brain and emotions tend to rule over the left brain's logic, especially with younger kids. By applying these discoveries to every kind of parenting, you can turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth.

Complete with age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to a child, The Whole-Brain Child teaches how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development to lead balanced and connected lives. Kids will learn to build stronger relationships and succeed in school.

The whole brain child

If you want to understand the emotion-filled actions your child is displaying, then this book may be for you.

Welcome to the Roller Coaster: by D.D. Foster

Written by fourteen foster moms who have fostered a combined total of over one hundred thirty-five children. They have come together to share their personal stories to provide a glimpse into the real world of foster care and the kids in foster care they cared for. Though many of their journeys have been difficult, these ladies will inspire you with their stories of love, loss, and healing.

roller coaster

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma: by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been sexually assaulted; one in four had an alcoholic parent; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent three decades working with survivors.

In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses scientific advances to show how trauma reshapes both body and brain. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships to hurt and heal and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.

* Trauma informed care is a huge part of our foster parent training. Foster parents must have the tools and training to parent kids from difficult places with trauma histories.

Body keeps the score

Reframing Foster Care: by Jason Johnson

If you are looking for a religious reframing of the conversation, this is an excellent book to explore. Jason does a beautiful job of presenting thoughtfully-written reflections on foster parenting. His book reminds many of us why we took on the challenge to become a foster parents in the first place.

Foster parents face unique circumstances and experience many emotions that few can relate to. Their journey is one of equal parts beauty and brokenness, joy and heartache, excitement and exhaustion. There is no textbook on being a foster parent, no formula, or no simple three-step guide. But there is hope—in God’s capacity to bring great beauty out of tragic brokenness. This is the gospel—the lens through which you can filter your foster parenting journey and ultimately find the strength, motivation, and courage you need to be sustained along the way.

Reframing Foster Care

ReFraming Foster Care is a collection of reflections on the foster parenting journey designed to help you do just that—find hope—and to remind you that your work is worth it and you are not alone.

Another Place at the Table: by Kathy Harrison

The startling and ultimately uplifting narrative of one woman's thirteen-year experience as a foster parent. Another Place at the Table is the story of life at our social services' front lines, centered on three children who nearly destroy it when they come together in Harrison's home. It is the frank first-person story of a woman whose compassionate best intentions for a child are sometimes all that stand between violence and redemption.

Another place at the table

Orphan Train: by Christina Baker Kline

The United States has not always had a foster care system. Between 1854 and 1929, so-called orphan trains regularly ran from the cities of the East Coast to the farmlands of the Midwest, carrying thousands of abandoned children whose fates would be determined by pure luck. Would a kind and loving family adopt them, or would they face a childhood and adolescence of hard labor and servitude? As a young Irish immigrant, Vivian Daly was one such child, sent by rail from New York City to an uncertain future a world away. Returning east later in life, Vivian leads a quiet, peaceful existence on the coast of Maine; the memories of her upbringing rendered a hazy blur. But in her attic, hidden in trunks, are vestiges of a turbulent past.

Orphan Train

Seventeen-year-old Molly Ayer knows that a community service position helping an older woman clean out her home is the only thing keeping her out of the juvenile hall. But as Molly helps Vivian sort through her keepsakes and possessions, she discovers that she and Vivian aren't as different as they appear. A Penobscot Indian who has spent her youth in and out of foster homes, Molly is also an outsider being raised by strangers, and she, too, has unanswered questions about the past.

More To Me:  by Saty Cornelius

More to Me tells is not just a reflection of one story, but many. For as long as Bri can remember, it’s been the same thing: taking care of her siblings throughout her mom’s many hangovers, breakups, and abusive habits. After fourteen years of this family dysfunction, she and her younger three siblings end up in foster care, where she battles with depression and loneliness. These very things caused her mother to slip deeply into her alcohol addictions years ago. Bri fights with every ounce of strength she can muster, but it doesn’t matter – her family still falls apart, and she is left broken and alone. As she drifts through the unfairness of a shattered heart, Bri meets one unexpected last chance at hope. Cautious and skeptical, she slowly realizes the truth about her past.

More to me

The subject can be heavy, but it discusses topics relevant to anyone, not just families in foster care. The book’s overarching themes include trust, depression, and heartbreak. But underlying all of it is hope.

The Grown-Up’s Guide to Teenage Humans: How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult

By Josh Shipp

In 2015, Harvard researchers found that every child who does well in the face of adversity has had at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive adult. But Josh Shipp didn’t need Harvard to know that. Once an at-risk foster kid, he was headed straight for trouble until he met the man who changed his life: Rodney, the foster parent who refused to quit on Shipp and got him to believe in himself.

Now, in The Grown-Up’s Guide to Teenage Humans, Shipp shows all of us how to be that caring adult in a teenager’s life. Stressing the need for compassion, trust, and encouragement, he breaks down the phases of a teenage human from sixth to twelfth grade, examining teenagers' changes, goals, and mentality at each stage.

Grown up guide

Shipp offers revelatory stories that take us inside the teen brain and shares wisdom from top professionals and the most expert grown-ups.

We hope that this list will give you some good reading options as you explore foster care or continue on your fostering journey. 

As always, please get in touch with us with any questions you may have about becoming a foster parent.

 

 

How Old are Kids in Wisconsin Foster Care

Children of all ages enter Wisconsin foster care every day. Many are part of sibling groups and older children over age eight. Deciding to become a foster parent means considering the ages of the children you wish to help. Foster parents can preference foster children by age, but we caution new foster parents not to have a too narrow or specific preference. Here is why.

What is the average age of kids in Wisconsin foster care?

The median age of children in, entering, and exiting foster care in the United States in 2018 was as follows:
ƒ The median age of the children in foster care in 2018 was 7.6 years.
ƒ The median age of children entering foster care in 2018 was 6.1 years.
ƒ The median age of children exiting foster care in 2018 was 7.5 years.

While some kids are in basic foster care homes, others are in treatment foster care homes, many are placed with a relative, and older kids may be in a residential facility or group home. There are typically slightly more males (52%) compared to females (48%), and the age range of kids in Wisconsin foster care is typical to the numbers nationally.

Can I choose the age of kids I want to foster in Wisconsin?

If you click on any of our "Contact Us" options, you will see that we ask about your age preference. Many prospective foster parents will be disappointed to learn that we DO NOT need families wishing to foster kids under the age of 3. Especially babies! Many younger children will be placed with a relative or remain in a county foster home. Private foster agencies rarely place children ages 0-3 unless they are part of a larger sibling group.

We regularly receive inquiries from folks who want to foster to adopt. Dare we say, gently, that foster care should not be used as a means of adopting a child. The goal of foster care is to provide a temporary, safe, healing environment for a child that has been removed from their family home, and reunification with the birth family is the goal over 50% of the time. Does adoption happen? Yes, but if it is the goal, you set yourself up to get a broken heart.

We are blunt here at CCR and quick to tell folks that we cannot consider a license for anyone with the sole goal of adopting a little one.

Wait, you said I could pick the foster kids' age!

So what do we mean exactly? New CCR foster parents must be open to fostering children of school age. We typically break it down into the elementary, middle, and high school—the more expansive your window of preference, the better your chance of getting placements and helping children. The bottom line is if you want to foster little ones, you must be open to fostering any age between 0-12. Many younger children are in foster care with siblings so age ranges can vary within a group.

Fostering teens may be an excellent option for you.

The need never seems to change. Across the country, foster agencies are desperate for new families to accept kids over age 12. Sadly, older youth come with huge stigmas and terrible rumors and are circled with negative stories that they are ALL troubled and can't be helped. There is nothing further from the truth, and we have hundreds of success stories to dismantle those thoughts.

This is an excellent testimony from John, who was in care with us for three years and thrived.

After my sophomore year is when things started happening for me. I felt like I was a part of something; I was beginning to let my foster parents love me. My caseworker Matt (with CCR 16 years), was there for me 100 percent throughout everything. My sophomore year was tough; I sabotaged myself and wished my foster parents would give up on me and have me moved. I tested them for sure! I started turning things around in my junior and senior years. With CCR, there is always somebody there to help you; there is always somebody there to stand by your side and always stick up for you. My foster parents are still like family to me.

What is the average age of a foster child placed in a CCR home?

The vast majority of kids are over age five and in elementary school. Many are sibling groups. Sadly kids between ages 9-12 seem to be the forgotten age group in foster care. Folks think they can "help" little ones more, and almost everyone believes teens will be the most difficult. Both of those statements are untrue! We have hundreds of foster parents that will debunk both of those myths.

We will never talk you into doing something you aren't comfortable with. Nor will we place children in your home that you are not trained and licensed to care for. Remember, Wisconsin foster care has three levels of foster care: 2, 3, and 4. The higher the number a child is given, the higher the level of trauma and emotional and behavioral needs. The higher the license number, the more experience and training a foster home has to care for those children respectively.

We will help you explore which age group might best fit your family. Perhaps you have little kids of your own, maybe you are an empty nester, or you have never been a parent. No worries, we will gently walk you through the options and what that might look like for you and your family.

Contact us anytime. We can't wait to help you explore.

 

 

GET YOUR FOSTER LICENSE IN 100 DAYS! Homes for kids 10-18 are desperately needed.