Kaylie is a happy, busy 10-year-old girl in Wisconsin foster care. She has Jacobsen's Syndrome and autism. She was referred to CCR from a Wisconsin county foster agency in hopes of finding a foster family with a flexible schedule to meet her higher needs. Here are some highlights about Kaylie:
Wisconsin foster parents needed for kids with ASD
Kaylie is primarily non-verbal but can communicate most of her needs. She is enrolled in special education and is currently in the 4th grade. She struggled with school attendance in her last two foster homes, which has definitely affected her progress and ability to learn. Previous teachers report that Kaylie does well when she consistently attends school.
Kaylie does well with call-and-response, mimicking activities, showing needs, and using visual boards. Most days, her behavior is calm, and learning goes well; however, she can become angry, aggressive, and resistant on other days.
Fostering kids with autism requires creativity and flexibility
Kaylie loves music, dancing, and singing. She enjoys making music by clapping, stomping, and using wooden spoons on various containers. Dancing with a partner brings a huge smile to her face. Kaylie loves boxes! She will play with empty cereal boxes and cracker boxes for hours, filling, folding, and dumping things out repeatedly.
Creating a supportive home environment is crucial for Kaylie's well-being. She can become easily frustrated and upset, so having a safe space for her to calm down is important. Modifying the home environment with dim lighting, calming music, and soft surfaces can greatly contribute to her comfort.
Weekly visits with biological family are supervised.
Kaylie loves weekly visits with her mom and gets very excited when she first sees her mother. Kaylie feels tired the day after her visits and struggles to wake up for school. All activities are a challenge when Kaylie feels tired.
An experienced foster home or one with autism experience is desired.
Kaylie requires additional supervision and care so a home with a flexible or at-home parent is preferred. Previous foster parents have recommended that Kaylie not be placed in a home with children under age seven. She requires too much attention and can be difficult to handle while tending to the needs of younger kids. Although Kaylie has not demonstrated any harm to family pets, a pet-free home is preferred.
The great news is we found a loving, flexible CCR home for Kaylie! There will be others like her referred to us. If you are interested in caring for kids with ASD, we would love to speak with you. Of course, we always need homes for siblings and older kids too.
All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.
10 Year Old in Wisconsin Foster Care Again
Abitgail has spent most of her life in Wisconsin foster care. This is her third time being removed from the home. She is a sweet 10-year-old with significant trauma. She is funny and silly, and enjoys school and being around other children. Following is some of the information we received about Abigail.
Kids in Wisconsin foster care struggle with trauma histories.
Abigail is in fourth grade, has an IEP, and has speech delays. Teachers describe Abigail as outgoing, talkative, and engaging. She enjoys painting her nails, dancing, and singing. Abigail is diagnosed with ODD, PTSD, and ADHD. She takes two prescription medications for her mental health needs.
She has a long history of depression, and it can creep up on her. She can be charming but triggers easily without warning. On the other hand, she is curious, helpful, and aims to please.
Why kids return to foster care.
In early January, the Child Protective Services Support Program received a neglect report. The reporter learned that Abigail and two other children lived in the home with their mother and her boyfriend. An officer was dispatched to the house. Upon arrival, it was reported that Abigail opened the door and was crying. When asked why she was crying, she said she did not want to tell the officer. The officer overheard a younger child stating that Abigail would get in trouble for answering the door.
It was then determined that Abigail was caring for her siblings, ages 4 and 1. Abigail reported her mother was at work.
Upon a search of the home, marijuana was found throughout the house. In addition, heroin was found in the mother's bedroom. All the drugs found in the home were noted to be within reach of the children.
Foster parents and kids in care need 24/7 support.
Abigail had a difficult transition after being removed again from her mother and was running away from school and being disruptive in the classroom. She has been with her present foster family for three weeks, and they have requested removal due to heightened behaviors. Many of these behaviors are due to the need for one-on-one attention, which the current foster family struggles to provide due to having two young children in the home.
Abigail recently stayed with a respite provider and did well over both weekends. She was the only child in the home and received much-needed one-on-one attention. The respite provider praised Abigail and reported that she was a very sweet girl.
Much of her anxiety stems from the thought of going back home and having to care for her siblings. She must be reminded to be a kid and let the adults worry about adult things. This is difficult for her.
CCR foster care supports foster parents and kids like Abigail.
She has been in the care of many adults and has had several hospital and shelter stays. In 2022 and 2023, Abigail was admitted to a behavioral hospital. She was released to her mother after both discharges.
Abigail's mother and her boyfriend are criminally charged with child neglect. Mom is released on bond, and the boyfriend remains in custody due to a probation hold. Both deny any knowledge of the drugs in the home. A relative has placement of the two younger siblings.
Sadly, CCR did not have an available home at the time of referral that could meet Abigails heightened needs. The referring county continued their search.
If you are exploring becoming a foster parent, remember that ALL foster care kids have some level of trauma. Although Abigail's trauma is significant, other kids may display different behaviors and emotions at differing levels.
CCR foster parents are successfully helping kids heal from trauma. We see a lot of growth and healing with kids in our homes. If you want to learn more about the kids and how to become a foster parent we would love to connect with you.
Names and identifying information have been change for privacy protection. This child is no longer in need of placement.
A Tragic History All Too Common For Teens
Wisconsin teens in foster care are survivors.
Like many kids in Wisconsin foster care, Cathy has not had many basic life experiences. She recently went into a grocery store for the first time in her life with her foster mom. She was utterly overwhelmed. She is no different than most kids in foster care. She is a survivor. She struggles to trust. She is vulnerable. She is hurting.
A structured, stable foster home environment can provide significant opportunities for healing and growth. Like most other youth in care, Cathy requires a foster home able to support her with patience, consistency, and flexibility.
Her path toward healing begins with new foster parents.
A no-contact order is in place with her father, and communication with her mother has been attempted, although it can be challenging. Their relationship is volatile and unpredictable. Cathy is angry and expresses she has no desire to see her mom.
Cathy is currently placed in a temporary foster home while the referring County searches for a long-term, stable placement for her. She likes her privacy, and being alone is comforting and important to her. She is creative and enjoys arts and crafts, as well as engaging in conversation with others. She is easy to get along with and likes jigsaw puzzles and the foster family dog.
Like many teens, she loves video games. Unfortunately, Cathy cannot play unsupervised because of a history of inappropriate online behavior. Cathy does have a cell phone, although her current foster mom uses a structured phone schedule and supervises content.
Many youth in foster care need gentle reminders.
Basic hygiene reminders are necessary. Showering, deodorant, and feminine hygiene are constant reminders. Like many youth in foster care, Cathy needs encouragement and praise.
Although Cathy has completed her first year of high school, she tests at a 5th-grade level for reading and writing. In addition, she has an IEP and behavior plan at school.
While living with her parents, she required a lot of extra help every morning upon arrival at school due to a bed bug issue at home. She reports that it was hard and uncomfortable starting her day that way. She was often bullied.
Like many teens, she sleeps a lot. However, the current team suspects this may be related to medication. She is seen for med management and attends therapy weekly.
CCR desperately needs more homes for teens.
Teens like Cathy are referred to CCR every day. They are kids hoping for a stable, loving, safe place to call home—a home where adults can be trusted, and kids can begin to heal.
We did not have a home in the right county location for Cathy, so the referring county continued its search. In part, CCR turns away a very high percentage of referred teens because foster parents, new and experienced, fear the unknown. The majority of foster families are afraid of troubled teens. The reality is these are good kids. You can help!
All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.
Keeping Older Siblings Together in Foster Care
Amber is a 12-year-old girl who entered foster care due to neglect. She and her older brother, Deonne, 16, live with an aunt who has struggled to meet their needs. Community Care Resources is seeking a home that will accommodate both Amber and Deone.
Many youth in Wisconsin Foster Care are siblings.
Amber is very independent and often looks at her phone or reads in her room. She performs at a satisfactory academic level and has few friends at school. She enjoys playing video games and participates in a sewing club in her free time. If given the choice, she would eat a Big Mac for every meal, with mac and cheese as a close second favorite. She is not shy about expressing her dislike for vegetables.
Like many children in foster care, Amber faces food insecurity; she has been known to steal food, hide food in her room, and eat as a way to comfort herself.
Teens in foster care struggle with mental health challenges.
While Amber's strengths are evident, she also encounters challenges, particularly in managing her anger. Outbursts are common when she feels frustrated and unheard. She is easily upset when things don't go her way and will lash out verbally. She has outbursts daily. The aunt reports that Deone often successfully de-escalates a heightened situation. He has a unique way of supporting Amber.
Amber is aware of her emotional struggles and actively participates in weekly therapy, showing a willingness to grow. Support from her therapist, along with a referral for psychiatry, is a vital part of her journey toward emotional regulation.
Despite some hurdles, Amber performs well in school and has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) to support her speech development. Teachers and school staff recognize her potential and work collaboratively to ensure she continues to thrive academically. Moving to a new foster home may require a new school for Amber, so she must have foster parents available to advocate for her while encouraging new relationships with peers.
Keeping siblings together in foster care promotes healing.
Deone recently got his driver's permit but has not had much road experience while living with his aunt. He is known to be shy and reserved at first but will open up when he feels comfortable. He enjoys participating in the school band, Dungeon and Dragons and watching YouTube videos.
Depression is a struggle for Deone. He spends most of his time in his room when at home. He has reportedly been silent and withdrawn for up to 3 days on several occasions. He has refused therapy in the past but recently expressed interest in speaking with a psychiatrist. He struggles with maintaining personal hygiene but has improved while residing with his aunt.
Deone does well in school, although he needs help submitting homework on time. He performs most subjects at or below grade level. He does not have an IEP.
Kids in foster care visit with their biological family.
The siblings have weekly unsupervised visits with their mother. The visits are generally positive, and the kids seem to enjoy spending time with their mother. Despite their challenges and unstable history, the siblings look forward to the visits.
Foster parents must support the goal of reunification.
A foster family must be able to work with the mother and support the permanency goal of reunification. It is preferred that a foster home accept the placement of both Deone and Amber. A nurturing environment is desired to allow both kids to get on a promising healing path. This is a long-term placement, as their mom has some difficult work ahead of her. She desperately wants to reunite with her children and is working toward that goal.
*CCR did not have a foster home available in the right location to accept Amber and Deone's placement, so the referring county continued its search. We always need more foster homes for kids of all ages. If you want to learn more about becoming a foster parent with CCR, we would love to speak with you.
All names have been changed to protect the privacy of the family.
Wisconsin Teen Told He Should Never Have Been Adopted
A Wisconsin teen is in search of a new foster family. Mitchell is 13 and in foster care again. He needs a foster home as soon as possible, where he can get back on track with the consistency/predictability of programming while knowing he is safe and wanted. Would you have considered helping Mitchell if you were a CCR foster parent?
Teen in foster care hoping for a new family
Mitchell's adoptive mother recently made contact with him, causing several issues and disrupting his most recent foster home placement. His mother is highly triggering to him. Mitchell is not interested in communicating with his mother at this time. Due to the upsetting events, the current foster family has submitted a 30-day removal request, and the county is searching for a new home.
His adoptive mother has repeatedly told Mitchell that he should never have been adopted and that he has destroyed her life. As a result, he is pretty dysregulated and anxious about finding a "new family" and inquires if every person who walks through the door will be his new mom or dad.
Mitchell is reactive to yelling/arguing; thus, he will do best with a calm foster family who is not quick to anger and can effectively use de-escalation tools. He is very good at testing limits. Much of his escalation occurs when providers get into power struggles with him. He likes to have control, so options are best for him, allowing him to make his own decisions.
Fostering teens requires patience and acceptance.
A new foster home should be able to provide Mitchell with consistent parenting skills and a structured, well-planned, scheduled home environment. He would do well in a house with younger children and a home with great flexibility to transport Mitchell to appointments and programs. In addition, he has expressed hope of finding a family with dogs or a farm. However, he has never experienced having a pet.
He craves attention and often overwhelms others to make people like him. Mitchell does well with peers but needs help with perceptions/what other kids think. He perseverates on comments other kids make, which is when behaviors show up.
He has been physically and verbally aggressive with his mother in the past. His mother preempts the aggression by telling him she does not want him anymore. His current foster family reports when Mitchell is dysregulated; he can be successfully redirected by offering a snack. He responds well to bear hugs and tight hand-holding. He does not like formal exercise. Using an outdoor swing has successfully allowed Mitchell to calm himself down.
Getting foster kids involved in sports helps in many ways.
Mitchell loves basketball in the driveway, which has also been a good coping activity. He also enjoys playing video games and riding his skateboard. In addition, he was able to participate in the school football program last fall. The structure, interaction with the other boys, and the presence of the coaching staff was an excellent experience for him.
Mitchell has diagnoses of Autistic Disorder, ADHD, Anxiety, Sensory Integration Disorder, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (likely caused by trauma). Cognitively, Mitchell functions close to his age level. However, he often struggles to express emotions effectively and tell you why he is upset. Mitchell has an ongoing psychiatrist and is prescribed medication.
A positive male influence, as well as calm personalities, would benefit Mitchell. He is currently attending afternoon therapy and working on how he perceives others and his interactions with peers and others around him. They have reported he is incredibly respectful and follows through on what is asked of him.
CCR is desperate for more foster parents wanting to help kids like Mitchell. Last month we received 22 teen referrals from counties across Wisconsin. Unfortunately, we did not have a home for any of them. Placing teens in loving homes is getting more and more difficult.
So many foster parents in counties across Wisconsin are caring for sibling groups. More than 70% of foster children at CCR are in care with at least one sibling. We recently received a referral for a sibling group of three. After spending four weeks in a county foster home, their foster parents gave notice for removal stating the siblings were more than they could manage. After careful exploration and consideration, we placed all three children in a loving, flexible foster home that could meet their higher needs. Here is a bit of their history.
Foster parents need more training and support.
Dominick will be four years old in February. He and his two sisters suffer from prolonged neglect. As a result, each has heightened behaviors and emotions that prove too much for Basic Level Foster Parents. Not because the foster parents didn't have big hearts or best intentions but rather because they were not equipped with the necessary training or support. To successfully care for children with severe trauma, foster parents need more. Likewise, to heal and grow, foster kids need more.
Caring for three kids under age 6 with heightened behaviors is challenging, even for the most seasoned foster parents. Trauma-informed parenting is essential to helping kids heal and promoting successful outcomes. Unfortunately, even the best foster parents can struggle to manage the behaviors and emotions of young children without the necessary training and support services.
The challenge is TRAUMA. In Dominick's case, more than basic parenting skills and minimal support from an agency was needed.
Why must foster parents meet flexibility requirements?
Dominick and his sisters, Mariah, 2, and Marissa, 6, without a doubt, needed foster parents who would utilize trauma-informed parenting skills while readily available to meet their higher needs. In addition, a successful foster home would require a parent available at all times, as daycare was unsuccessful in the previous placement.
He and his sisters were removed from the home after Mariah suffered significant burns on her stomach and chest from the kitchen oven. Mom was home when the incident occurred. She has a history of drug and alcohol abuseand has an on-again, off-again relationship with Mariah's father. Her parental rights have been terminated for six older children.
At nearly four, Dominick is not potty trained, is speech delayed, and struggles with anger, heightened emotions, and behaviors. In addition, he struggles to play or interact appropriately with his sisters,
Dominick went to daycare with Mariah 3 days a week. However, the two were separated due to Dominick's aggressive behavior toward his sister. The staff contacted the foster mom several times concerning his behavior and reported that most days were spent redirecting or separating Dominick from other children.
Trauma is present in what may appear to be normal sibling rivalry.
The previous foster mom reported that Dominick has difficulty sleeping at night and wakes others in the house with screaming and wall kicking. In addition, he and his older sister fight for attention constantly. Hitting, kicking, biting, and pushing were common occurrences, and increased supervision was required when the children were in the same room.
He communicates his needs and wants somewhat effectively and figures out quickly how things work. He requires direct, line-of-sight supervision and 1:1 attention, which he does well with. He can count to 5 and knows some of his colors. He is easily triggered when he does not get the attention he seeks. On the other hand, he can be a very sweet, affectionate boy.
It was recommended that Dominick be placed in a new foster home without pets as he had taken his frustrations out on the family dog several times, but he was never hurt. In addition, it was noted that Dominick must be separated from his sisters when dressing due to the use of inappropriate language in the presence of his sisters.
Attention-seeking behaviors are commonplace.
Dominick loves music, which helps keep him focused and calm during diaper changes, teeth brushing, and bathing. He loves putting on his shoes and rides very well in his car seat, if not within reach of Marissa. He washes his hands well and will often help clear his place after meals. He does well with positive affirmations and loves a loud "great job." However, he is easily upset if his sisters get positive attention and will push Mariah or throw toys or objects at both girls.
The previous foster mom stated the kids could grow and heal if they are in the right environment and get needed services. However, a 30-day notice was given by the family because the three kids together were too much to handle. The foster mom worked three days a week, and her husband worked Monday-Friday, often returning home at 6 pm. Along with their biological children, 9 and 12, managing everybody was more than they anticipated.
Kids in foster care can thrive if given the necessary services and support.
There has been a noticeable change in the siblings in the six weeks spent in their current CCR foster home. Most notably, Dominick responds very well to being at home with their foster mom vs. going to daycare. The 1:1 attention and heightened supervision needed made it difficult for him to succeed at daycare. It is not uncommon for kids with significant trauma to struggle in a daycare environment.
Mealtime continues to be a struggle, particularly for Marissa and Dominick, but the kids are trying more foods and learning about healthy eating. Bedtime and bath routines are very lengthy but overall successful. Meltdowns are still common with Mariah and Dominick but using Trauma-Informed parenting tools helps, as well as the 24/7 support of their Clinical Case Manager.
All three children visit with their mom once per week. Mariah also visits with her father. In addition, the assigned CCR Clinical Case Manager visits the home each week for approximately 2.5 hours. Weekly support visits are provided to all CCR foster families.
"There is a lot of history there that needs to be unpacked and explored." noted their previous foster mom. "Dominick's violent tendencies can be frightening, but at the same time, he is a loveable little boy."
This sibling group is the second placement for the CCR foster family. They do not have other children living at home or pets, which seems helpful to all three kids. The foster mom works part-time, two evenings each week, and her husband works full-time days, arriving home by 4:30. They are supported by friends and local family and are taking things one day at a time with the kids. Both are hopeful that all three kids will continue to thrive in their home.
Understanding trauma and using trauma-informed parenting are crucial to helping kids heal. Therefore, all CCR foster parents are trained to use trauma-informed tools and receive great support from our highly trained staff. As a result, kids like Dominick and his sisters can heal with proper treatment. Together, our staff and foster parents have witnessed hundreds of kids with significant trauma heal and grow in our 33 years of providing treatment foster care.
How Old are Kids in Wisconsin Foster Care
Children of all ages enter Wisconsin foster care every day. Many are part of sibling groups and older children over age eight. Deciding to become a foster parent means considering the ages of the children you wish to help. Foster parents can preference foster children by age, but we caution new foster parents not to have a too narrow or specific preference. Here is why.
What is the average age of kids in Wisconsin foster care?
The median age of children in, entering, and exiting foster care in the United States in 2018 was as follows:
The median age of the children in foster care in 2018 was 7.6 years.
The median age of children entering foster care in 2018 was 6.1 years.
The median age of children exiting foster care in 2018 was 7.5 years.
While some kids are in basic foster care homes, others are in treatment foster care homes, many are placed with a relative, and older kids may be in a residential facility or group home. There are typically slightly more males (52%) compared to females (48%), and the age range of kids in Wisconsin foster care is typical to the numbers nationally.
0-4 Years 31%
5-10 Years 25%
11-16 Years 24%
17-21 Years 20%
Can I choose the age of kids I want to foster in Wisconsin?
If you click on any of our "Contact Us" options, you will see that we ask about your age preference. Many prospective foster parents will be disappointed to learn that we DO NOT need families wishing to foster kids under the age of 3. Especially babies! Many younger children will be placed with a relative or remain in a county foster home. Private foster agencies rarely place children ages 0-3 unless they are part of a larger sibling group.
We regularly receive inquiries from folks who want to foster to adopt. Dare we say, gently, that foster care should not be used as a means of adopting a child. The goal of foster care is to provide a temporary, safe, healing environment for a child that has been removed from their family home, and reunification with the birth family is the goal over 50% of the time. Does adoption happen? Yes, but if it is the goal, you set yourself up to get a broken heart.
We are blunt here at CCR and quick to tell folks that we cannot consider a license for anyone with the sole goal of adopting a little one.
Wait, you said I could pick the foster kids' age!
So what do we mean exactly? New CCR foster parents must be open to fostering children of school age. We typically break it down into the elementary, middle, and high school—the more expansive your window of preference, the better your chance of getting placements and helping children. The bottom line is if you want to foster little ones, you must be open to fostering any age between 0-12. Many younger children are in foster care with siblings so age ranges can vary within a group.
Fostering teens may be an excellent option for you.
The need never seems to change. Across the country, foster agencies are desperate for new families to accept kids over age 12. Sadly, older youth come with huge stigmas and terrible rumors and are circled with negative stories that they are ALL troubled and can't be helped. There is nothing further from the truth, and we have hundreds of success stories to dismantle those thoughts.
This is an excellent testimony from John, who was in care with us for three years and thrived.
After my sophomore year is when things started happening for me. I felt like I was a part of something; I was beginning to let my foster parents love me. My caseworker Matt (with CCR 16 years), was there for me 100 percent throughout everything. My sophomore year was tough; I sabotaged myself and wished my foster parents would give up on me and have me moved. I tested them for sure! I started turning things around in my junior and senior years. With CCR, there is always somebody there to help you; there is always somebody there to stand by your side and always stick up for you. My foster parents are still like family to me.
What is the average age of a foster child placed in a CCR home?
The vast majority of kids are over age five and in elementary school. Many are sibling groups. Sadly kids between ages 9-12 seem to be the forgotten age group in foster care. Folks think they can "help" little ones more, and almost everyone believes teens will be the most difficult. Both of those statements are untrue! We have hundreds of foster parents that will debunk both of those myths.
We will never talk you into doing something you aren't comfortable with. Nor will we place children in your home that you are not trained and licensed to care for. Remember, Wisconsin foster care has three levels of foster care: 2, 3, and 4. The higher the number a child is given, the higher the level of trauma and emotional and behavioral needs. The higher the license number, the more experience and training a foster home has to care for those children respectively.
We will help you explore which age group might best fit your family. Perhaps you have little kids of your own, maybe you are an empty nester, or you have never been a parent. No worries, we will gently walk you through the options and what that might look like for you and your family.
Contact us anytime. We can't wait to help you explore.
How Old Are Kids in Foster Care
Wisconsin foster care has over 7,400 kids in out of home care at any time. Ages of foster children range from infant to young adults. If you are interested in how to become a foster parent, one of the biggest decisions you will make is the age range of the foster children you wish to care for. The need for loving foster homes in Wisconsin is desperate. It is important to know your own strengths and weaknesses and what age group will be the best fit for you and your family.
Wisconsin foster parents can choose the children they foster.
One of the first questions you will be asked by a CCR new foster parent adviser is "What age group are you interested in fostering?" Saying you are open to fostering children of any age is not realistic. (Just being honest) Few foster parents can foster all ages successfully. Strengths and weaknesses will surely come into play when parenting foster kids, no different than if you are raising or have raised kids of your own.
New foster parents are encouraged to have an age group preference.
Enjoying certain age groups or feeling you're "better" with specific ages is okay and encouraged. There are too many factors involved for a new foster parent to say they will care for a foster child of ANY age. Obviously caring for a toddler requires a different schedule and requirements than does fostering a 12-year-old. New foster parents must be able to meet the day to day needs of kids and the needs are great.
Considering your flexibility, availability for appointment requirements, drive times, unexpected illness or days off school, holidays and summer vacation, are all factors to think about when considering your age preference.
The "T" word. These kids aren't as scary as you might think!
There is usually no middle ground with this decision. Either foster parents want teens or they don't. We find that prospective foster parents afraid of teens don't really understand what the kids need and what amazing things they can offer this age group.
The majority of teens in foster care haven't had a dependable adult in their life. No adult to trust. No structure, consistency, or support. They are alone and may very well be facing adulthood alone. Teaching life skills, independent living skills, applying for jobs, navigating relationships, learning to drive, all these things require a trusting adult to help teach and guide a teen.
Often times, meeting the emotional needs of a teen can be draining for any parent. Teenagers can certainly test and challenge the best of parents. Patience, good listening skills, trust, belief in a child, and meeting them where they're at are critical to helping a youth heal from past traumas.
Their needs are great and complex but for many foster parents, they love the challenge of breaking through, making progress, and providing hope for a bright future.
How a foster child comes in the door and how they leave can be dramatically and beautifully different.
There are thousands of amazing testimonials from foster parents that have helped change the future of a teen. Unfortunately, the abuses and horrible actions of a very small minority of foster parents is what most of us hear and cling to. Stories of amazing progress and bright futures are rarely talked about unless highlighted on Ellen or social media.
Stories of parents developing lifelong relationships with kids they fostered. Meeting their spouses and children years later. Sharing holidays with former foster youth. If you really want to change the life of a child, foster a teenager.
Many new foster parents have exceptional skills and patience to care for younger children with trauma.
Teaching a child how to dress, fasten a seat belt, or how to use words instead of actions are all extremely important and part of typical parenting. Bedtime rituals, morning routines, and eating habits almost always require time and patience from any parent. If these day to day exercises and challenges are what you enjoy then fostering younger children might be a great fit for you and your family. However, you must remember, kids in foster care will often come withextra challenges.
So, you think you want to help little kids while they are still young and impressionable.
Many new foster parents think that fostering kids while they are young, allows for more teachable moments. Parenting a child before they are set in their ways or have developed bad behaviors like older kids is a common interest of people exploring fostering. Believing that younger children don't have the behaviors and emotional struggles that older kids and teenagers have is a HUGE misconception. In fact, it can be quite the opposite, depending on the child.
Toddlers and young children in foster care often have heightened needs due to severe neglect.
Is patience your middle name? Do you like hands-on parenting and meeting the ever-changing needs that little ones have? Toddlers and young children in foster care often display a variety of delays and behaviors that can be challenging. Delays with language, processing, hygiene skills, food associations, and inappropriate expressions of frustration are commonplace.
Fostering preschool-age children can be challenging for those not up to the task. Because kids in this age group can often be delayed and cannot always articulate how they feel or what they need, days can be long and frustrating. Behaviors can be heightened or age-inappropriate depending on the abuse or neglect a child experienced. Trauma stunts a child's growth and development and foster parents must understand that this age group will require more from them than what might be expected.
The average age of a child in foster care is 10 years old.
The greatest need in Wisconsin and throughout the country is for kids over the age of 5 and sibling groups. That is true at CCR as well. The average age of boys in our care is 10, the average age for girls is 11. This population is often the least requested for no specific reason, other than folks preferring "little ones" or teens. Many kids in this age group come into care with younger siblings.
A rewarding part of fostering kids in grade or middle school is getting them involved in extracurricular activities and helping them navigate the challenges of school. Remember, until foster care, many kids have not had an adult active in their education, developed healthy relationships with classmates or teachers, or been involved in sports or after school activities.
Getting kids active is imperative to healing from past traumas.
Getting a foster child involved in an extracurricular activity not only occupies their downtime and frees them from electronics, but it also teaches them valuable life skills.
Time management
Teamwork
Goal Setting
Confidence Building
Stress management
Social Skill Development
Extracurricular activities expose kids to so many things they have never experienced. Our foster parents have great stories about witnessing kids coming out of their shells, improving relationships with peers, and building confidence.
This age group is rewarding for many foster parents because there are so many positive changes happening at once. Progress is obvious, kids are developing passions and exploring new interests all the time. If there are siblings involved, kids can now share new interests with their brothers and sisters which help relationship development within the family.
What age group interests you now might change over time.
Many foster parents start with one age group and wish to try another age later down the road. At CCR, we do ask that parents have a large enough preference window that will allow for opportunity of placements. For example ages 10 and under, kids between ages 8-13, or teen girls. It is very helpful to have a wide window so that you have ample opportunity to get calls with potential placements.
If you are only interested in babies, you may be waiting for a very long time. Most infants remain in county foster care and are rarely referred to a private agency. The exception may be if the baby is part of a larger sibling group.
The choice is yours. Know your strengths and weaknesses and be confident with what you can offer a child or sibling group in your care. Keep in mind other children in your home, your availability and schedules, and what you know you can offer a child with a traumatic background.
Call us anytime to learn more. 800-799-0450
GET YOUR FOSTER LICENSE IN 100 DAYS! Homes for kids 10-18 are desperately needed.
