Wisconsin Foster Parents Needed for Autistic Kids

Kaylie is a happy, busy 10-year-old girl in Wisconsin foster care. She has Jacobsen's Syndrome and autism. She was referred to CCR from a Wisconsin county foster agency in hopes of finding a foster family with a flexible schedule to meet her higher needs. Here are some highlights about Kaylie:

Wisconsin foster parents needed for kids with ASD

Kaylie is primarily non-verbal but can communicate most of her needs. She is enrolled in special education and is currently in the 4th grade. She struggled with school attendance in her last two foster homes, which has definitely affected her progress and ability to learn. Previous teachers report that Kaylie does well when she consistently attends school.

Girl on swing

Kaylie does well with call-and-response, mimicking activities, showing needs, and using visual boards. Most days, her behavior is calm, and learning goes well; however, she can become angry, aggressive, and resistant on other days. 

Fostering kids with autism requires creativity and flexibility

Kaylie loves music, dancing, and singing. She enjoys making music by clapping, stomping, and using wooden spoons on various containers. Dancing with a partner brings a huge smile to her face. Kaylie loves boxes! She will play with empty cereal boxes and cracker boxes for hours, filling, folding, and dumping things out repeatedly. 

Creating a supportive home environment is crucial for Kaylie's well-being. She can become easily frustrated and upset, so having a safe space for her to calm down is important. Modifying the home environment with dim lighting, calming music, and soft surfaces can greatly contribute to her comfort. 

Weekly visits with biological family are supervised.

foster child

Kaylie loves weekly visits with her mom and gets very excited when she first sees her mother. Kaylie feels tired the day after her visits and struggles to wake up for school. All activities are a challenge when Kaylie feels tired.

An experienced foster home or one with autism experience is desired.

Kaylie requires additional supervision and care so a home with a flexible or at-home parent is preferred. Previous foster parents have recommended that Kaylie not be placed in a home with children under age seven. She requires too much attention and can be difficult to handle while tending to the needs of younger kids. Although Kaylie has not demonstrated any harm to family pets, a pet-free home is preferred. 

The great news is we found a loving, flexible CCR home for Kaylie! There will be others like her referred to us. If you are interested in caring for kids with ASD, we would love to speak with you. Of course, we always need homes for siblings and older kids too.

All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.

 

 

 

How Are Foster Parents Matched with Foster Children

Matching foster children and youth with Wisconsin foster parents is a thoughtful and deliberate process designed to help children heal and foster parents succeed. At CCR, every placement is carefully made and doesn't happen overnight. Planned placements take time to ensure children can heal and families can thrive.

Placing Wisconsin foster children in the best available home possible is the responsibility of Brian Sullivan. Brian has been dedicated to CCR and our foster families for over 26 years. Each child and sibling group referred to CCR is unique, reflecting the diverse needs and trauma levels of the children in foster care. Learn more from Brian:Foster Care Coordinator Standing by Wisconsin Map

What is the process for matching a foster child with a family?

I am the primary contact for our contract counties and agencies that want to refer a child or sibling group for CCR foster care services. When a county agency needs to place a child outside its county due to resource limitations, it contacts me.

My primary responsibility is collecting comprehensive information about the child, including their requirements, history, and trauma histories, to find the most suitable CCR foster home. I carefully assess the pool of available foster parents to make the best possible match based on my understanding of the child's needs and the strengths of our foster parents.

Some things to consider are:

How many kids in Wisconsin foster care are referred to CCR each month?

CCR receives 50-60 referrals monthly from counties and tribes throughout Wisconsin. However, we can only place a small percentage of those children, primarily due to the need for more licensed foster families. Despite my best efforts, which often include other team members, there are many cases in which a suitable match is not found, and the referral is passed back to the referring agency.

The ongoing shortage of Wisconsin foster parents means we only sometimes have a family available to meet the child's needs.

What is the difference between county foster care and treatment level?

The difference between basic county-level foster care and treatment-level foster care lies in the level of service provided to the child and the foster family. For instance, a child in a county foster home may not receive necessary support services. A county worker may visit the house once a month, whereas at CCR, visits are made each week to ensure our foster parents receive much needed support and access to resources. In addition, we have a 24/7 on-call help line for our foster parents. 

What types of kids do CCR Wisconsin foster parents care for?

In recent years, we have noticed an increase in sibling groups displaced from their family homes. Also, finding homes for teenage girls and boys is our biggest challenge. Many new foster parents are hesitant to foster older kids, but our experienced foster parents find older youth less challenging than younger children.

Regardless of the ages and behaviors of the children placed, our foster parents must adhere to strict flexibility requirements. Being available for multiple appointments and interruptions during the week should be expected.

Can foster parents choose the children they foster?

When foster parents are open to different types and ages of kids, they can have unique experiences. While CCR needs homes for kids of all ages, the greatest need is to find foster homes for young sibling groups and teenagers. It's challenging to find one family that can accommodate a sibling group of 3 or 4 kids, both logistically and practically. At the same time, finding homes with flexible schedules to provide necessary supervision to teens is also challenging.

We respect the family's choice and never push them either way. Knowing that the decision is theirs is essential, and I will never make it for them.

Can foster parents meet the children before a placement?

I work closely with the potential family to arrange a pre-placement visit, which typically includes overnight or weekend stays. These visits allow foster parents to meet the child and gather as much information as possible to decide whether to pursue the placement. The visits also aid in the transition process so that the child has some knowledge about the family before joining them.

The foster family always has the option of accepting or declining a child. I strive to provide all available information to help them make the best choice for their family. A placement can last anywhere from 12 to 24 months and often longer. I work closely with the referring agency and county worker during this time to ensure we communicate effectively. 

The support and guidance provided by our team during the decision-making process help instill confidence and security in foster parents. This is a serious process that we do not take lightly. It is important that our families feel they have received all the support they need. Once a placement is made, our commitment to providing 24/7 support starts right away. 

What happens if the match with a foster child does not work out?

We understand that fostering a vulnerable child or sibling group can be complex and challenging. Many foster children come from difficult backgrounds and have heightened behaviors and emotions. These emotional and behavioral challenges require ongoing management and can be challenging for both the child and the foster parents.

Because our Clinical Case Managers are in the home weekly and offer 24/7 phone support, breakdowns and disruptions are often avoided.

Older children are encouraged to speak with their Clinical Case Manager. The CCM, in turn, will typically talk with the youth and the foster parent to understand where the placement is breaking down and implement steps to rebuild these areas. Well-planned meetings seek solutions and strategies for remedying the situation and resolving problems with the placement while considering the child's best interests. A 30-day notice to move the child may be unavoidable if this doesn't work.

Can I adopt my foster children? Children are often adopted by their CCR foster parents. However, the goal is most often reunification. Adoption happens less than 20% of the time.

CCR is committed to improving the outcomes of all the children and youth placed in our care. We have dedicated, compassionate team members with decades of field experience working diligently with our foster parents and county agencies to provide each child with the most suitable, safe home.

If you want to learn more about CCR and becoming a foster parent, please contact us anytime. We are glad to answer your questions and provide more details.

Teen in Wisconsin Foster Care Struggles to Find a Home

David has been in and out of Wisconsin foster care for five years. He is 14 years old. He is currently placed with a cousin struggling to meet his needs. Here is a bit of David's story:

Wisconsin foster parents need a flexible schedule

David, a 14-year-old boy, needs a foster home with at least one parent available or a parent with a highly flexible schedule. His journey has been challenging, having been diagnosed with depression, ODD, and ADHD. While he is not currently on medication, he is open to an assessment, believing it could be beneficial and help him with his emotions.

For David, a foster home with younger children and pets, particularly dogs, would be ideal. He enjoys the company of younger children and finds pets to be naturally calming. A home with these elements would provide a supportive environment for him.

Siblings in foster care are often separated.

David has two sisters who live with their grandmother in. The siblings have phone contact. Next month, there is a planned visit with grandma and sisters. He is excited for the visit and hopes it is not cancelled.

Several months ago, he was moved to live with his cousin for the second time. She is requesting the teen be transferred to a licensed foster home. The cousin is a single woman, working full-time. She is struggling with David's disrespect and unwillingness to follow the rules, which she attributes to their closeness in age. Although he has done well overall, the cousin is unable to provide the proper parenting and supervision that David needs.

Foster kids often struggle in school.

Schoolwork has been a struggle for years. David is in 9th grade and has an IEP. His cousin reports that David wants to attend school and often tries to do the required homework but needs assistance to complete assignments on time.

David has attended multiple schools in the last several years, making it difficult to make friends or build relationships. He likes to give the impression that he is "tough". In addition, the boy has a history of not taking responsibility for his behaviors. Instead, he will deny his involvement and blame others for his behavior.

More Wisconsin foster parents are needed for kids with trauma histories

David's story is not unique. Witness to unhealthy relationships, alcohol abuse, lack of proper schooling, separation from his siblings, and an incarcerated parent all create trauma, which means David presents emotions and behaviors that require consistent parenting, patience, and time to build trusting relationships.

Kids like David can thrive when a foster family can provide stability and structure! We've seen it hundreds of times with our CCR foster families. They begin to heal when the constant moving from home to home stops.

CCR is desperate for more families to become foster parents for kids like David. Learn how to become a foster parent in Wisconsin by calling us today.

*We did not have a foster home available for David, so the referring county continued their search for a home in the right location to meet his needs.

All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.

 

A Tragic History All Too Common For Teens

Wisconsin teens in foster care are survivors.

Like many kids in Wisconsin foster care, Cathy has not had many basic life experiences. She recently went into a grocery store for the first time in her life with her foster mom. She was utterly overwhelmed. She is no different than most kids in foster care. She is a survivor. She struggles to trust. She is vulnerable. She is hurting.

A structured, stable foster home environment can provide significant opportunities for healing and growth. Like most other youth in care, Cathy requires a foster home able to support her with patience, consistency, and flexibility.

Her path toward healing begins with new foster parents.

A no-contact order is in place with her father, and communication with her mother has been attempted, although it can be challenging. Their relationship is volatile and unpredictable. Cathy is angry and expresses she has no desire to see her mom.

Cathy is currently placed in a temporary foster home while the referring County searches for a long-term, stable placement for her. She likes her privacy, and being alone is comforting and important to her. She is creative and enjoys arts and crafts, as well as engaging in conversation with others. She is easy to get along with and likes jigsaw puzzles and the foster family dog.

Like many teens, she loves video games. Unfortunately, Cathy cannot play unsupervised because of a history of inappropriate online behavior. Cathy does have a cell phone, although her current foster mom uses a structured phone schedule and supervises content.

Dog on bed

Many youth in foster care need gentle reminders.

Basic hygiene reminders are necessary. Showering, deodorant, and feminine hygiene are constant reminders. Like many youth in foster care, Cathy needs encouragement and praise.

Although Cathy has completed her first year of high school, she tests at a 5th-grade level for reading and writing. In addition, she has an IEP and behavior plan at school.

While living with her parents, she required a lot of extra help every morning upon arrival at school due to a bed bug issue at home. She reports that it was hard and uncomfortable starting her day that way. She was often bullied.

Cathy displays nearly all signs of childhood trauma:
  1. Reliving the event (flashbacks or nightmares)
  2. Avoidance
  3. Anxiety
  4. Depression
  5. Anger
  6. Problems with trust
  7. Withdrawal

Like many teens, she sleeps a lot. However, the current team suspects this may be related to medication. She is seen for med management and attends therapy weekly.

reddish brown hair girl

CCR desperately needs more homes for teens.

Teens like Cathy are referred to CCR every day. They are kids hoping for a stable, loving, safe place to call home—a home where adults can be trusted, and kids can begin to heal.

We did not have a home in the right county location for Cathy, so the referring county continued its search. In part, CCR turns away a very high percentage of referred teens because foster parents, new and experienced, fear the unknown. The majority of foster families are afraid of troubled teens. The reality is these are good kids. You can help!

Please get in touch with us to learn more about fostering teens and how you can begin your fostering journey. Qualify to be a foster parent and get started today.

All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.

Wisconsin Boy Needs a Pre-Adopt Foster Home

LaBron is a resilient 10-year-old Wisconsin boy in need of a foster home where he can feel safe, supported, and seen by his foster parents. His story isn’t easy—he’s experienced neglect, physical abuse, and has witnessed family violence—but despite it all, LaBron continues to show his vibrant personality and caring heart.

A boy in foster care with a big heart and a curious spirit

LaBron is the kind of child who lights up when trying new things. He especially loves tasting new foods; his favorite candy is orange Skittles. He enjoys playing basketball outdoors and watching his favorite TV shows. One of the ways LaBron shows his thoughtful nature is in how he plays and interacts with family pets. He is gentle, nurturing, and a helpful caretaker. A foster family with pets may be a perfect match for LaBron.

AI 10 year old with dog

He had never had his own bedroom before and always shared a space with his mom, so he takes great pride in his tidy bedroom and bed. LaBron enjoys keeping his personal space neat and organized and takes excellent care of his belongings. These small routines help him feel grounded and in control—something that hasn't always been the case in his early years.

LaBron needs a foster family with time, patience, and a flexible schedule.

Because of his early experiences and diagnoses—Phonological Disorder, ADHD, and trauma-related stress disorder—LaBron needs a foster home that can offer structure, patience, and a lot of one-on-one time. He attends school with a 504 plan and is below grade level in most areas, particularly reading. When feeling overwhelmed, he visits the counselor’s office and wraps up in a weighted blanket to help self-regulate.

LaBron is sensitive to loud noises and can become overstimulated, so he must have space to calm down when needed. His ideal home would be quiet, predictable, and nurturing, with caregivers who understand trauma and can set firm but gentle boundaries.

He has weekly Zoom visits with his biological mom, who is incarcerated, and will need continued support for that relationship. He also needs ongoing therapy and medication management.

A pre-adopt foster family is desired

The referring county is searching for a pre-adoptive foster home, however, the goal remains reunification at this time, but that goal can change at any time.

LaBron would thrive in a home where:

Fostering a child like LaBron means showing up with empathy, flexibility, and a willingness to parent using the trauma-informed skills learned in foster parent training. It means seeing beyond behaviors to the boy inside who wants to feel safe, valued, and part of a family.

You can learn more about how to become a foster parent with CCR and contact us when you're ready to take the first step.

All identifying information have been changed to protect the identity of children.

Foster Parents Struggle to Meet Needs of Foster Child

"Anthony" is eight years old and is in foster care in Wisconsin. He has been in 2 foster homes. His mom is incarcerated, and his dad is not active. His older sister visits with him virtually once a week. Anthony's foster care journey is like so many others. Unstable, bouncing from home to home. We share these profiles, hoping kind-hearted people like you can better understand trauma and what kids in foster care need from foster parents to heal.

Vulnerable children need Wisconsin foster parents to commit.

support for abused children in foster care
Previous foster families said his behaviors were too much. They needed more support than their foster agencies could provide, and both families expressed Anthony's need for therapy services. Although both families shared many beautiful qualities, they could not give the boy what he needed. It should also be mentioned that both foster families worked full-time hours with little to no flexibility to meet Anthony's needs. Neither was receiving the necessary support to succeed. 
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Foster parents need a foster agency that provides exceptional support.

Foster parents cannot do this work alone; children like Anthony need more than a loving family. They require more than basic parenting skills to heal from trauma. Foster parents must know how to care for kids with trauma histories. Proper training is essential. County agencies that refer kids to CCR trust we have the resources, training, support services, and staff to help kids like Anthony while supporting the families providing care.
CCR staff and families treat trauma. We help kids heal. Right now, we don't have enough foster homes.
 
Anthony has many beautiful qualities and characteristics. He also has numerous challenges that require more structure, consistency, and patience from foster parents.

He sleeps well, enjoys a variety of foods, and can be a charmer when not in fight-or-flight mode. He loves to play video games and enjoys playing in the bathtub. He likes to be helpful with simple meal prep and prefers to be in the company of adults. He misses his mother and asks about her frequently. He can visit with her virtually every week.

Foster children have wants and needs from foster parents.

foster care homes for kids
Former foster parents reported that Anthony does okay in school for the most part. However, both expressed concerns with social skills, listening, and creating disturbances but agreed that he is interested in learning. He continues to make progress with early reading and struggles with math concepts. He is not at grade level in any subject.
Anthony is a bright, intelligent, and funny boy. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, and PTSD. He often struggles with accepting directives and consequences. He continues to work on de-escalation and coping skills when triggered. He has shown progress in many areas.
Anthony reports wanting a family that won't yell and has too many rules. "I like video games, hugs, spy stuff, and chocolate." He especially likes ramen noodles and slushies and dislikes vegetables, smelly smoke, and mean people.
Anthony needs reminders to wait his turn and give others space. He often struggles when others get more attention than he does, which causes him to act out to gain attention. Providing structure, routines, and house rules will be beneficial for Anthony. 

CCR foster parents are prepared and supported to care for kids like Anthony.

Bouncing from foster home to foster home compounds a child's trauma. It isn't easy to heal and grow when moving between homes. CCR prepares foster parents to care for kids with trauma and heightened behaviors, and we provide many essential tools and resources to help kids like Anthony succeed. One of the many ways we support our families is by meeting with them weekly in their homes.
We ensure that services, therapies, and 24/7 support are in place.
worst foster care stories
 
We need loving homes with flexible schedules for kids like Anthony. A parent must be available for 2-3 weekly appointments and unplanned interruptions. Having a plan when kids are not in school is also essential. 
Sadly, we did not have the right foster home in the right location for Anthony. In cases like this, the referring county is left scrambling to find a foster home. 
Please contact us if you would like to learn more about becoming a foster parent with CCR.
 

Siblings in Foster Care Hope to Stay Together

One of our greatest needs is to license more Wisconsin foster parents to care for sibling groups. We continue to receive referrals from counties across Wisconsin, and more often than not, we do not have foster homes available in the right location to meet the needs of the children. Fostering siblings requires great flexibility and the ability to meet younger kids where they are while getting on a path toward healing. Meet Benjamin, Adam, and Thomas, three little brothers desperate for a foster home to keep them together and handle their elevated needs. 

Siblings in foster care need structure, stability, and flexibility.

This sibling group of three brothers is currently placed with their maternal aunt. She cannot maintain the children in her care due to their aggressive behaviors, level of trauma, and lack of structure and routine. The aunt has no parental experience and limited resources. She is only 24 years old. Her primary support person is her 19-year-old live-in boyfriend. The sibling group had resided with the aunt for three months, before that, they lived with their maternal grandmother, their legal guardian.

The maternal grandmother’s recent homelessness and mental and physical health ailments left the boys needing placement and CPS intervention. Thus, the aunt was located and agreed to care for the boys.

Boy 1

Benjamin is the oldest child. He is a wise 9-year-old. However, he has expressed that he does not always feel safe at his aunt’s home. As a result, he has asked to live with respite providers instead of his maternal aunt. Likewise, 6-year-old Thomas also expresses his desire to live elsewhere.

The Department has received two CPS reports alleging physical abuse of the children since their placement in the aunt’s home.  The most recent report came in over a weekend after the weekend respite provider found large bruises on Thomas' back.

All three boys were interviewed by CPS and expressed their safety concerns regarding their aunt. The boys are not returning at this time as an investigation is in pursuit, and the aunt has verbalized an inability to maintain the three boys. It is unknown what the investigation will uncover.

Foster parents caring for siblings must be resilient.

Benjamin is believed to be the most delayed or behind socially and academically. When compared to his younger brothers. The middle brother, Adam, is eight years old and has been an open book about his feelings and things going on in the home. Adam struggles with the most aggressive behaviors historically (he was kicked out of daycare at a young age), but his involvement with CCS (Comprehensive Community Services) over the past year has shown that he has been able to calm himself, take direction, and have less aggressive behaviors.

When initially placed with the aunt, it is reported that Thomas displayed aggression towards his youngest sibling, Danny, who has been placed with his maternal aunt since birth. Danny is 18 months old (not included in the sibling group of 3 needing placement). Thomas does not show this aggressive behavior while in the care of the regular respite provider. It is believed that Thomas may have been aggressive towards Danny because while in his aunt’s home, Danny is the “baby,” In contrast, Thomas is used to being “the baby” of the family while previously raised by his maternal grandmother.

Thomas has flourished while in respite care with the structure and attention he is provided.

Kids in foster care need to feel safe.

The Department is not looking for placement of Danny as the maternal aunt can adequately provide care for him independently of his three older siblings. The aunt describes that the boys are angry. She feels they are angry because living with their maternal grandmother was not healthy or safe emotionally. However, each boy does great one-on-one and when receiving positive attention and parenting. She reports that the boys would do best if they could remain together. The aunt would like to remain involved as an auntie to the boys but cannot remain a full-time caregiver for all four siblings.

Griese boy

All three boys are participating in individual therapy.  Benjamin and Thomas also have an IEP. All support services would continue in a new foster home.

The boys just transitioned to a new school in January as the aunt could not transport the boys over 30 miles to the school near the grandmother's previous home. Moving to another new school will be difficult, but the transition may go well if structure and stability are present in a new home.

None of the boys are on medication at this time. There are no known health concerns. The aunt would like to set up regular visits with the boys so they can see their baby brother.

Kids are referred to CCR every day. We need your help.

*This blog series highlights actual referrals received. Names are changed to protect privacy.

Wisconsin Teen Told He Should Never Have Been Adopted

A Wisconsin teen is in search of a new foster family. Mitchell is 13 and in foster care again. He needs a foster home as soon as possible, where he can get back on track with the consistency/predictability of programming while knowing he is safe and wanted. Would you have considered helping Mitchell if you were a CCR foster parent?

Teen in foster care hoping for a new family

Mitchell's adoptive mother recently made contact with him, causing several issues and disrupting his most recent foster home placement. His mother is highly triggering to him. Mitchell is not interested in communicating with his mother at this time. Due to the upsetting events, the current foster family has submitted a 30-day removal request, and the county is searching for a new home.

skateboard boy

His adoptive mother has repeatedly told Mitchell that he should never have been adopted and that he has destroyed her life. As a result, he is pretty dysregulated and anxious about finding a "new family" and inquires if every person who walks through the door will be his new mom or dad.

Mitchell is reactive to yelling/arguing; thus, he will do best with a calm foster family who is not quick to anger and can effectively use de-escalation tools. He is very good at testing limits. Much of his escalation occurs when providers get into power struggles with him. He likes to have control, so options are best for him, allowing him to make his own decisions.

Fostering teens requires patience and acceptance.

A new foster home should be able to provide Mitchell with consistent parenting skills and a structured, well-planned, scheduled home environment. He would do well in a house with younger children and a home with great flexibility to transport Mitchell to appointments and programs. In addition, he has expressed hope of finding a family with dogs or a farm. However, he has never experienced having a pet.

chicken

He craves attention and often overwhelms others to make people like him. Mitchell does well with peers but needs help with perceptions/what other kids think. He perseverates on comments other kids make, which is when behaviors show up.

He has been physically and verbally aggressive with his mother in the past. His mother preempts the aggression by telling him she does not want him anymore. His current foster family reports when Mitchell is dysregulated; he can be successfully redirected by offering a snack. He responds well to bear hugs and tight hand-holding. He does not like formal exercise. Using an outdoor swing has successfully allowed Mitchell to calm himself down.

Getting foster kids involved in sports helps in many ways.

Mitchell loves basketball in the driveway, which has also been a good coping activity. He also enjoys playing video games and riding his skateboard. In addition, he was able to participate in the school football program last fall. The structure, interaction with the other boys, and the presence of the coaching staff was an excellent experience for him.

skateboard

Mitchell has diagnoses of Autistic Disorder, ADHD, Anxiety, Sensory Integration Disorder, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (likely caused by trauma). Cognitively, Mitchell functions close to his age level. However, he often struggles to express emotions effectively and tell you why he is upset. Mitchell has an ongoing psychiatrist and is prescribed medication.

A positive male influence, as well as calm personalities, would benefit Mitchell. He is currently attending afternoon therapy and working on how he perceives others and his interactions with peers and others around him. They have reported he is incredibly respectful and follows through on what is asked of him.

CCR is desperate for more foster parents wanting to help kids like Mitchell. Last month we received 22 teen referrals from counties across Wisconsin. Unfortunately, we did not have a home for any of them. Placing teens in loving homes is getting more and more difficult.

Please visit our how to qualify to become a foster parent page and learn about the requirements you need.

New Foster Parents Found for Sibling Group

So many foster parents in counties across Wisconsin are caring for sibling groups. More than 70% of foster children at CCR are in care with at least one sibling. We recently received a referral for a sibling group of three. After spending four weeks in a county foster home, their foster parents gave notice for removal stating the siblings were more than they could manage. After careful exploration and consideration, we placed all three children in a loving, flexible foster home that could meet their higher needs. Here is a bit of their history.

Foster parents need more training and support.

Dominick will be four years old in February. He and his two sisters suffer from prolonged neglect. As a result, each has heightened behaviors and emotions that prove too much for Basic Level Foster Parents. Not because the foster parents didn't have big hearts or best intentions but rather because they were not equipped with the necessary training or support. To successfully care for children with severe trauma, foster parents need more. Likewise, to heal and grow, foster kids need more.

autism kid looking far away without interesting SBI 300997599 2

Caring for three kids under age 6 with heightened behaviors is challenging, even for the most seasoned foster parents. Trauma-informed parenting is essential to helping kids heal and promoting successful outcomes. Unfortunately, even the best foster parents can struggle to manage the behaviors and emotions of young children without the necessary training and support services. 

The challenge is TRAUMA. In Dominick's case, more than basic parenting skills and minimal support from an agency was needed. 

Why must foster parents meet flexibility requirements?

Dominick and his sisters, Mariah, 2, and Marissa, 6, without a doubt, needed foster parents who would utilize trauma-informed parenting skills while readily available to meet their higher needs. In addition, a successful foster home would require a parent available at all times, as daycare was unsuccessful in the previous placement.

He and his sisters were removed from the home after Mariah suffered significant burns on her stomach and chest from the kitchen oven. Mom was home when the incident occurred. She has a history of drug and alcohol abuse and has an on-again, off-again relationship with Mariah's father. Her parental rights have been terminated for six older children.

At nearly four, Dominick is not potty trained, is speech delayed, and struggles with anger, heightened emotions, and behaviors. In addition, he struggles to play or interact appropriately with his sisters, 

Dominick went to daycare with Mariah 3 days a week. However, the two were separated due to Dominick's aggressive behavior toward his sister. The staff contacted the foster mom several times concerning his behavior and reported that most days were spent redirecting or separating Dominick from other children. 

Trauma is present in what may appear to be normal sibling rivalry.

The previous foster mom reported that Dominick has difficulty sleeping at night and wakes others in the house with screaming and wall kicking. In addition, he and his older sister fight for attention constantly. Hitting, kicking, biting, and pushing were common occurrences, and increased supervision was required when the children were in the same room. 

He communicates his needs and wants somewhat effectively and figures out quickly how things work. He requires direct, line-of-sight supervision and 1:1 attention, which he does well with. He can count to 5 and knows some of his colors. He is easily triggered when he does not get the attention he seeks. On the other hand, he can be a very sweet, affectionate boy. 

It was recommended that Dominick be placed in a new foster home without pets as he had taken his frustrations out on the family dog several times, but he was never hurt. In addition, it was noted that Dominick must be separated from his sisters when dressing due to the use of inappropriate language in the presence of his sisters. 

Attention-seeking behaviors are commonplace. 

Dominick loves music, which helps keep him focused and calm during diaper changes, teeth brushing, and bathing. He loves putting on his shoes and rides very well in his car seat, if not within reach of Marissa. He washes his hands well and will often help clear his place after meals. He does well with positive affirmations and loves a loud "great job." However, he is easily upset if his sisters get positive attention and will push Mariah or throw toys or objects at both girls.

sad children in nature outdoor SBI 300988624

The previous foster mom stated the kids could grow and heal if they are in the right environment and get needed services. However, a 30-day notice was given by the family because the three kids together were too much to handle. The foster mom worked three days a week, and her husband worked Monday-Friday, often returning home at 6 pm. Along with their biological children, 9 and 12, managing everybody was more than they anticipated. 

Kids in foster care can thrive if given the necessary services and support.

There has been a noticeable change in the siblings in the six weeks spent in their current CCR foster home. Most notably, Dominick responds very well to being at home with their foster mom vs. going to daycare. The 1:1 attention and heightened supervision needed made it difficult for him to succeed at daycare. It is not uncommon for kids with significant trauma to struggle in a daycare environment. 

Mealtime continues to be a struggle, particularly for Marissa and Dominick, but the kids are trying more foods and learning about healthy eating. Bedtime and bath routines are very lengthy but overall successful. Meltdowns are still common with Mariah and Dominick but using Trauma-Informed parenting tools helps, as well as the 24/7 support of their Clinical Case Manager.

All three children visit with their mom once per week. Mariah also visits with her father. In addition, the assigned CCR Clinical Case Manager visits the home each week for approximately 2.5 hours. Weekly support visits are provided to all CCR foster families. 

"There is a lot of history there that needs to be unpacked and explored." noted their previous foster mom. "Dominick's violent tendencies can be frightening, but at the same time, he is a loveable little boy."

This sibling group is the second placement for the CCR foster family. They do not have other children living at home or pets, which seems helpful to all three kids. The foster mom works part-time, two evenings each week, and her husband works full-time days, arriving home by 4:30. They are supported by friends and local family and are taking things one day at a time with the kids. Both are hopeful that all three kids will continue to thrive in their home.  

Understanding trauma and using trauma-informed parenting are crucial to helping kids heal. Therefore, all CCR foster parents are trained to use trauma-informed tools and receive great support from our highly trained staff. As a result, kids like Dominick and his sisters can heal with proper treatment. Together, our staff and foster parents have witnessed hundreds of kids with significant trauma heal and grow in our 33 years of providing treatment foster care. 

 

Wisconsin Foster Parent Learns About Trauma from 5-year-old

I wanted to become a foster parent for as long as I can remember. My dream was to foster a younger child under the age of ten. I am a single foster parent with no children of my own, so I safely assumed fostering would come with many challenges. I didn't realize how important it would be to have a team behind me—a dedicated team of professionals with many years of experience working with foster children. Until I received a lengthy email on the first day of school, I also had no idea what I would need from my child's teacher. 

Being a foster parent will bring challenges and rewards.

becoming a foster parent

I honestly did not know how much kids were hurting and how many disappointments most had. The day I called CCR to get information about becoming a foster parent was the first I heard about childhood trauma and trauma-informed care. They explained the long-term effects of neglect and abuse on younger children and what that can look like for foster parents. I gained insight into my strengths and how my skills and personal experiences might contribute to helping children heal. I learned that love alone would not be enough, and I would struggle to succeed without proper support.

I became a foster parent and got my first placement quickly.

I didn't know how long it might take to get a call, and I worried if I was ready to take on the responsibility of parenting someone else's child. Self-doubt took over. Although my case manager said my feelings were "normal," I questioned myself. The call came much sooner than I anticipated!

Jaydeen was a tiny 5-year-old that came to my home wide-eyed and full of energy. Lots of energy! Without a doubt, it wasn't always positive energy. The first few days, okay months, were a challenge. Jaydeen lacked any semblance of structure. She struggled to listen, and there were no boundaries with play, mealtime, or bedtime. It was a lot to witness initially, and I immediately depended on my case manager and Jaydeen's teacher to reassure me. 

My foster child's first day of school was filled with challenges. 

how to adopt a child

I drove Jaydeen to school with extreme trepidation and nearly cried when I left her. We had been together for just a few days. I wondered if the teacher could handle her with the other children in the classroom. Jaydeen struggled in all the ways CCR told me a child her age might. 

In addition to living with me, a stranger, Jaydeen, had been torn from family, friends, and school. I prayed her teacher would have a successful first day with her. I didn't anticipate the trauma-informed care principles her teacher would apply on day one. I received an email detailing Jaydeen's first day; it was insightful and gave me much hope.

Good evening; I wanted to give you an idea of how Jaydeen's day went.

When Jaydeen came to school, she did a great job lining up and following the class into school. When we get into school, frog stickers are on the floor the students stand on while waiting to use the bathroom. Jaydeen was having trouble standing on the frog and began running down the hallway. It escalated when I asked her to stop, and she kept running. After using the bathroom, students hung up their items, and Jaydeen did this beautifully.

Class begins with circle time. Jaydeen did not sit in the circle but instead played at a table with some manipulatives. I put them out for her in advance, anticipating that sitting still on her first day may be challenging. (I've seen this before) Unfortunately, during our circle time, she began playing in all centers and throwing toys at us to get our attention. We continued with circle time, ignoring the behavior, and she stopped. Her behavior adjustment was very encouraging.

Ignoring negative behaviors worked well at times.

During playtime, Jaydeen ran around the room and screamed on and off very loudly. She knocked kids' toys over and watched them react. When I approached her, she ran away. We gently asked her to stop and explained that it was not safe, and she calmed down a bit. When Jaydeen is NOT getting a reaction or attention, she will stop some negative behavior.

I had another adult in my room, and she asked Jaydeen to play a game. She settled down for about 10 minutes and played a few games in the quiet area. After that, she played calmly with a few of the other students. She was enjoying her playtime. The adult played with her in another center, but she started hitting her. I tried to engage her in more calming activities, but that wasn't easy. She did manage to work nicely in the art center for a brief time with me.

The day was long, but there were many positive behaviors.

During clean-up time, Jaydeen took the timer and ran out the door down the hallway. She came back and said, "I hid the timer." I didn't react and said it was time to clean up and go home. Jaydeen returned to the room with the timer and helped clean up the classroom. She got ready to go and lined up nicely with the other kids. She waited quietly and patiently for you to pick her up.

foster parent training

The safety of all children is paramount.

I know this is new to her, and you and I will continue to use tools to encourage positive behavior. However, please understand that the safety of all children is paramount. I am hopeful that she will get into a routine with consistency and time.

I hope this email isn't too overwhelming. Feel free to let me know if I can help in any way.

WOW! WOW! Her first day at a new school brought out so many behaviors. More than I had witnessed at home. These are the things that CCR taught in the foster parent training. Teachers and seasoned foster parents expect actions like these from kids with significant trauma, especially severely neglected children. Jaydeen's teacher and my case manager saw it from day one. I am so blessed that both women are part of my team on my foster parenting journey. 

Her teacher did everything right!

What I appreciate most is that her teacher looked for positive ways to redirect Jaydeen. Also, trauma-informed care practices allowed many positive outcomes throughout the school day. Most importantly, she continued with patience and encouragement. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have a disruptive student in the classroom.

Several weeks have passed, and Jaydeen is making progress daily at home and school. Her teacher communicates with me regularly so that we are both on the same page. Trauma is ugly. Trauma is real. Most importantly, I truly believe that kids can heal from trauma!

Please get in touch with CCR or call anytime. The staff will help anyone explore how to become a foster parent. 800-799-0450

 

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