What Wisconsin Foster Parents Should Expect

Why Parenting Foster Children Is Different – And Why That Matters

If you’re considering becoming a Wisconsin foster parent, you might imagine that parenting a foster child is much like parenting any other child, just with a bit more patience and lots of compassion. That's partly true. But it's critical to understand the many differences and how foster parenting often requires an entirely different mindset.

It isn’t just about providing a loving home; it’s about helping a child heal.

Wisconsin Foster Kids Have a Different Starting Point

Children in care with CCR have experienced early trauma, severe neglect, and/or abuse. They haven't had consistent, attuned caregiving that builds a child’s sense of safety, trust, and self-worth.

As a result, foster children often present as younger than their age, especially emotionally. For instance, a ten-year-old may seem like a six-year-old in terms of emotional regulation, or a teen may struggle with trust and boundaries in ways that seem more appropriate for a much younger child.

That’s not immaturity. That's not a kid being difficult. That’s survival.

Understanding Foster Kids - Development Through Attachment

Think for a moment about how babies learn to understand themselves and the world. A newborn doesn't know the difference between hunger, tiredness, or discomfort. All it knows is that something feels wrong. So, it cries.

In a healthy situation, a caregiver responds — checks the diaper, offers a bottle, gives a cuddle, and wraps the baby in a blanket. Over time, the baby begins to associate that uncomfortable feeling with the relief that comes from a responsive adult. This cycle, repeated thousands of times, teaches the child:

This is the foundation of secure attachment and emotional development.

When That Foundation Is Missing

Now, imagine a child whose cries were met with yelling. Or were completely ignored. Or maybe sometimes helped, but other times they waited and waited for someone to come. Perhaps no one came at all. Or maybe another child — a sibling — tried to meet their needs, doing their best, but missing the mark.

This child learns a very different lesson:

These children often live in a state of heightened alert. They may seem overly independent, always trying to control situations or keep others at arm’s length — because in their experience, adults aren’t safe. They may resist comfort, struggle with transitions, or act out in confusing ways.

This isn't “bad behavior.” This is survival behavior.

Therapeutic Parenting: A Different Approach

Therapeutic parenting is about seeing beyond the behavior to the need underneath. It means responding not with consequences or punishment, but with connection, structure, and predictability — again and again and again.

It means recognizing that many foster children start from a very different place than their peers. Two children may be the same age, but their inner worlds — their expectations of others, their sense of safety — may be worlds apart.

As a foster parent, you are helping that child rewrite their internal story:

But it takes time. And it takes a lot of repetition. Sometimes, children will test your consistency, not because they’re being difficult, but because they need to see if you’ll still be there when things get hard. They will test you and push buttons to get a reaction to gauge your commitment.

It’s Not Easy, But It’s Worth It

Foster parenting isn’t just about offering a child a loving home. Sure that's part of it. More importantly, it’s about providing them a new model of what it means to be cared for — what it means to be safe. You are helping a child who may never have known what a genuine connection feels like to finally begin to trust again. No matter their age!

And while it may not look like traditional parenting, it is powerful parenting. It’s slow, patient, deeply intentional work. But it can be life-changing — for the child, and for you.  

Thinking about fostering?
Fostering a child or siblings with CCR could be one of the most meaningful journeys you ever embark on. If you're feeling overwhelmed just thinking about it, talk with us. We will guide you and answer any questions you may have.

Most likely, you meet all the requirements to foster a child, you just don't know it. You probably have more patience than you know. And you definitely have a kind heart for fostering or you wouldn't be reading this blog!  

Give yourself time to explore. When you're ready, we will guide you. We always need more foster parents for kids ages 2-18, especially siblings and teens. 

Please contact us to learn more about CCR and the kids needing your help.

A Tragic History All Too Common For Teens

Wisconsin teens in foster care are survivors.

Like many kids in Wisconsin foster care, Cathy has not had many basic life experiences. She recently went into a grocery store for the first time in her life with her foster mom. She was utterly overwhelmed. She is no different than most kids in foster care. She is a survivor. She struggles to trust. She is vulnerable. She is hurting.

A structured, stable foster home environment can provide significant opportunities for healing and growth. Like most other youth in care, Cathy requires a foster home able to support her with patience, consistency, and flexibility.

Her path toward healing begins with new foster parents.

A no-contact order is in place with her father, and communication with her mother has been attempted, although it can be challenging. Their relationship is volatile and unpredictable. Cathy is angry and expresses she has no desire to see her mom.

Cathy is currently placed in a temporary foster home while the referring County searches for a long-term, stable placement for her. She likes her privacy, and being alone is comforting and important to her. She is creative and enjoys arts and crafts, as well as engaging in conversation with others. She is easy to get along with and likes jigsaw puzzles and the foster family dog.

Like many teens, she loves video games. Unfortunately, Cathy cannot play unsupervised because of a history of inappropriate online behavior. Cathy does have a cell phone, although her current foster mom uses a structured phone schedule and supervises content.

Dog on bed

Many youth in foster care need gentle reminders.

Basic hygiene reminders are necessary. Showering, deodorant, and feminine hygiene are constant reminders. Like many youth in foster care, Cathy needs encouragement and praise.

Although Cathy has completed her first year of high school, she tests at a 5th-grade level for reading and writing. In addition, she has an IEP and behavior plan at school.

While living with her parents, she required a lot of extra help every morning upon arrival at school due to a bed bug issue at home. She reports that it was hard and uncomfortable starting her day that way. She was often bullied.

Cathy displays nearly all signs of childhood trauma:
  1. Reliving the event (flashbacks or nightmares)
  2. Avoidance
  3. Anxiety
  4. Depression
  5. Anger
  6. Problems with trust
  7. Withdrawal

Like many teens, she sleeps a lot. However, the current team suspects this may be related to medication. She is seen for med management and attends therapy weekly.

reddish brown hair girl

CCR desperately needs more homes for teens.

Teens like Cathy are referred to CCR every day. They are kids hoping for a stable, loving, safe place to call home—a home where adults can be trusted, and kids can begin to heal.

We did not have a home in the right county location for Cathy, so the referring county continued its search. In part, CCR turns away a very high percentage of referred teens because foster parents, new and experienced, fear the unknown. The majority of foster families are afraid of troubled teens. The reality is these are good kids. You can help!

Please get in touch with us to learn more about fostering teens and how you can begin your fostering journey. Qualify to be a foster parent and get started today.

All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.

Foster Parents Struggle to Meet Needs of Foster Child

"Anthony" is eight years old and is in foster care in Wisconsin. He has been in 2 foster homes. His mom is incarcerated, and his dad is not active. His older sister visits with him virtually once a week. Anthony's foster care journey is like so many others. Unstable, bouncing from home to home. We share these profiles, hoping kind-hearted people like you can better understand trauma and what kids in foster care need from foster parents to heal.

Vulnerable children need Wisconsin foster parents to commit.

support for abused children in foster care
Previous foster families said his behaviors were too much. They needed more support than their foster agencies could provide, and both families expressed Anthony's need for therapy services. Although both families shared many beautiful qualities, they could not give the boy what he needed. It should also be mentioned that both foster families worked full-time hours with little to no flexibility to meet Anthony's needs. Neither was receiving the necessary support to succeed. 
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Foster parents need a foster agency that provides exceptional support.

Foster parents cannot do this work alone; children like Anthony need more than a loving family. They require more than basic parenting skills to heal from trauma. Foster parents must know how to care for kids with trauma histories. Proper training is essential. County agencies that refer kids to CCR trust we have the resources, training, support services, and staff to help kids like Anthony while supporting the families providing care.
CCR staff and families treat trauma. We help kids heal. Right now, we don't have enough foster homes.
 
Anthony has many beautiful qualities and characteristics. He also has numerous challenges that require more structure, consistency, and patience from foster parents.

He sleeps well, enjoys a variety of foods, and can be a charmer when not in fight-or-flight mode. He loves to play video games and enjoys playing in the bathtub. He likes to be helpful with simple meal prep and prefers to be in the company of adults. He misses his mother and asks about her frequently. He can visit with her virtually every week.

Foster children have wants and needs from foster parents.

foster care homes for kids
Former foster parents reported that Anthony does okay in school for the most part. However, both expressed concerns with social skills, listening, and creating disturbances but agreed that he is interested in learning. He continues to make progress with early reading and struggles with math concepts. He is not at grade level in any subject.
Anthony is a bright, intelligent, and funny boy. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, and PTSD. He often struggles with accepting directives and consequences. He continues to work on de-escalation and coping skills when triggered. He has shown progress in many areas.
Anthony reports wanting a family that won't yell and has too many rules. "I like video games, hugs, spy stuff, and chocolate." He especially likes ramen noodles and slushies and dislikes vegetables, smelly smoke, and mean people.
Anthony needs reminders to wait his turn and give others space. He often struggles when others get more attention than he does, which causes him to act out to gain attention. Providing structure, routines, and house rules will be beneficial for Anthony. 

CCR foster parents are prepared and supported to care for kids like Anthony.

Bouncing from foster home to foster home compounds a child's trauma. It isn't easy to heal and grow when moving between homes. CCR prepares foster parents to care for kids with trauma and heightened behaviors, and we provide many essential tools and resources to help kids like Anthony succeed. One of the many ways we support our families is by meeting with them weekly in their homes.
We ensure that services, therapies, and 24/7 support are in place.
worst foster care stories
 
We need loving homes with flexible schedules for kids like Anthony. A parent must be available for 2-3 weekly appointments and unplanned interruptions. Having a plan when kids are not in school is also essential. 
Sadly, we did not have the right foster home in the right location for Anthony. In cases like this, the referring county is left scrambling to find a foster home. 
Please contact us if you would like to learn more about becoming a foster parent with CCR.
 

Foster Mom of 5 Siblings Loves Being a Foster Parent

I have always wanted to be a foster parent for sibling groups.

My name is Heather; I am a stay-at-home Wisconsin foster parent and cannot express enough how amazing CCR has been for my family and me. When I first looked into how to become a foster parent, I reached out to a local private agency and my county foster care agency. It took many phone calls and several weeks to get return calls or an information packet in the mail. I was frustrated already and had barely begun. I found CCR online while doing more research and made the call. They answered immediately and talked with me for nearly an hour! My husband and I were licensed a couple of months later. That is quick!

We received placement of a large sibling group 11 days after licensing. Very quick! We instantly went from a family of 4 (soon to be 5) to a family of 9 (soon to be 10). Yes, I was pregnant, had two kids of my own, and said yes to fostering a large sibling group. Our dream! We are thrilled and blessed to foster these five precious kids. Here is a quick story of how we got to be a family of 10.

Heather Doherty

All foster parents deserve 24/7 support and transparent communication.

We chose CCR for MANY reasons. Just the first phone call alone, I could tell how much they genuinely care about the children that have to go through this challenging process. They have a fantastic training course with so many members to help you and answer any questions along the way. Unlike most agencies, with CCR, you will ALWAYS be able to get ahold of someone to talk to about anything that comes up at any time of day or night.
My husband and I wanted to foster sibling groups to help them stay together. These children often find themselves at CCR because it is hard to find homes to take all the children together. I admit I thought it was a little invasive, knowing we would have a case manager in our house every week. But oh my goodness, it’s AMAZING. I love my case manager Wanda! At least for the first month, that poor lady was getting phone calls from me daily! Sometimes a few a day! She answered and talked me through all my questions and concerns or even vented about what’s happening with my bio children!

There are so many siblings in foster care.

We wish we could live in a world where foster parents weren’t needed, and kids were safe at home. Unfortunately, that’s not the case, and more and more kids are being removed daily. Neglect, all forms of abuse, death in the family, or even the parents just needing a little help to get back on their feet. I look at my foster children every day, and my heart hurts knowing that there are kids out there falling through the cracks or hiding their pain from what’s happening at home, so nobody knows.
Even the thought that maybe without my husband and I, they would be separated and in different homes away from each other makes my heart hurt. All five kids have been a blessing to our family.
I’m so blessed to be a part of the CCR family and am so thankful for the kiddos in my home. Watching them and guiding them to overcome their trauma and hardships can be challenging at times but amazingly worth it.
Please consider fostering. Don’t think you have the room? Call and ask. Don’t think you have the time? Call and ask. Don’t think you have the financial means? Call and ask. If you have the heart to do it and the patience, I promise you it’s worth it.
Some so many kids need a home. One loving home could change their life completely.
If you have any questions, please reach out to CCR or even ask to talk with me. I am willing to help in any way I can.
Sincerely,
Heather, proud CCR foster mom of 8.

Can Foster Parents Work Full Time?

Can Wisconsin foster parents work? Can single foster parents work? If you want to become a foster parent in Wisconsin and you are working full-time, there is good news. It is possible IF you meet the required flexibility and availability requirements.

Wisconsin foster parents can work but must be available and flexible.

Being a foster parent with CCR doesn't require being a stay-at-home mom or a stay-at-home dad. We embrace our working foster parents. We know how hard they work to take care of their families. What we require is flexibility. CCR foster parents must be available to their foster children when needed and have the flexibility to adjust their schedules accordingly.

When fostering school-age children and teens, having a flexible schedule before, during, and after school hours is important. CCR foster parents typically have 2-4 scheduled appointments each week. These required appointments take place between 8 am - 5 pm Monday through Friday. In addition, many unplanned interruptions arise when fostering.

Working foster parents need a support system.

Most everyone has helped a family member or friend at one time or another with an unexpected situation with kids. Living in Wisconsin, snow days and cold days can create havoc for working parents. There is little notice given that your workday needs quick adjusting. Will you skip work? Ask someone to fill in for the day? In the event of a school suspension, who will stay home with your foster son or daughter for a week?

Foster parents need a dependable support system in place, people to chip in and help when necessary. Having a family member, close friend, or neighbor supporting you on your foster care journey is very important to your success and the healing success of a child.

Think of all the possible scenarios because one or more will arise, and you will need a plan in place. One of the greatest foster care support services CCR offers is weekly in-home visits with every foster family. The visits are typically 45-50 minutes per foster child. If you have a sibling set or sibling group in your home, who will be home for 2-3 hours once a week to meet with the Case Worker? Biological family visits, unexpected disruptions, schedule changes, and school-related appointments will require your time during regular business hours.

Without a flexible work/home schedule, it will be tough to manage the demanding schedule.

Most non-foster youth can safely stay home alone; others can stay with family or hang out at a friend's house. What if your child suffers from the challenges of significant trauma? What if your 8-year-old child cannot stay with a neighbor because past trauma prevents them from being safe? What if your child's behaviors are too unpredictable for grandma or your best friend to manage? What if? These are the first two words of many questions we will ask if you work full-time and want to become a CCR foster parent for treatment-level kids. Flexibility is non-negotiable.

Often, prospective foster parents don't think of the possible situations that may arise. It is our job to ensure you understand the requirements and the responsibilities that will be upon you as a foster parent. Expect that it will be much different than caring for your own children and from what you have witnessed with nieces, nephews, and friends.

There have been instances over the years where prospective foster parents were not honest about their day-to-day schedule, thinking they could handle it and make it work, only to have it be discovered halfway through the licensing process. That is a difficult discovery for all involved; in those instances, a license was not issued. Be honest with yourself and CCR about the flexibility and stability you can offer foster children.

The process exists for the benefit of foster children, not because we want to exclude or punish working parents.

Before school and after school can be difficult for working foster parents if they keep a tight, demanding work schedule. Daycare is often an option, and having a friend or family member fill in or give occasional support is okay. We want to avoid having too many adults in a child's life. Going to the neighbor's house on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after school and having Grandma in the home 2-3 mornings a week to get the kids off to school may seem like a good idea, but it generally creates more chaos and confusion for the kids. Although adults provide supervision, it backfires because too many adults play the role of parents.

Adjusting your work schedule may be something to consider. We can help you explore your options.

We welcome a conversation with you about your schedule. We often have ideas and suggestions that might fit perfectly with your situation and allow you to create a schedule that will work well. Many families find that one spouse can cut back their hours to 25 or 30 hours a week without financially affecting the family. Remember, foster parents receive a payment each month that is designed to cover the expenses of caring for a child. You are not financially responsible for foster children. Find more Wisconsin foster care questions and answers here.

Can kids attend daycare, summer camps, or after-school programs?

On a case-by-case basis, yes, they can. Is it ideal for a child's treatment and healing process? No, it is not. It all circles back to creating an environment of consistency and stability. Introducing too many adults, programs, and settings can work against foster kids and impede their healing and progress. Keep in mind the 2-4 required weekly appointments. It can be stressful unless working foster parents have a very flexible schedule.

Flexible schedules provide optimal opportunities for healing.

If you are working full-time, give us a call. Let's talk through your schedule and flexibility. Click here for answers to the most frequently asked foster care questions. Let us help you decide. The support we provide begins on the first phone call. 

Call now: 800-799-0450

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