What Wisconsin Foster Parents Should Expect

Why Parenting Foster Children Is Different – And Why That Matters

If you’re considering becoming a Wisconsin foster parent, you might imagine that parenting a foster child is much like parenting any other child, just with a bit more patience and lots of compassion. That's partly true. But it's critical to understand the many differences and how foster parenting often requires an entirely different mindset.

It isn’t just about providing a loving home; it’s about helping a child heal.

Wisconsin Foster Kids Have a Different Starting Point

Children in care with CCR have experienced early trauma, severe neglect, and/or abuse. They haven't had consistent, attuned caregiving that builds a child’s sense of safety, trust, and self-worth.

As a result, foster children often present as younger than their age, especially emotionally. For instance, a ten-year-old may seem like a six-year-old in terms of emotional regulation, or a teen may struggle with trust and boundaries in ways that seem more appropriate for a much younger child.

That’s not immaturity. That's not a kid being difficult. That’s survival.

Understanding Foster Kids - Development Through Attachment

Think for a moment about how babies learn to understand themselves and the world. A newborn doesn't know the difference between hunger, tiredness, or discomfort. All it knows is that something feels wrong. So, it cries.

In a healthy situation, a caregiver responds — checks the diaper, offers a bottle, gives a cuddle, and wraps the baby in a blanket. Over time, the baby begins to associate that uncomfortable feeling with the relief that comes from a responsive adult. This cycle, repeated thousands of times, teaches the child:

This is the foundation of secure attachment and emotional development.

When That Foundation Is Missing

Now, imagine a child whose cries were met with yelling. Or were completely ignored. Or maybe sometimes helped, but other times they waited and waited for someone to come. Perhaps no one came at all. Or maybe another child — a sibling — tried to meet their needs, doing their best, but missing the mark.

This child learns a very different lesson:

These children often live in a state of heightened alert. They may seem overly independent, always trying to control situations or keep others at arm’s length — because in their experience, adults aren’t safe. They may resist comfort, struggle with transitions, or act out in confusing ways.

This isn't “bad behavior.” This is survival behavior.

Therapeutic Parenting: A Different Approach

Therapeutic parenting is about seeing beyond the behavior to the need underneath. It means responding not with consequences or punishment, but with connection, structure, and predictability — again and again and again.

It means recognizing that many foster children start from a very different place than their peers. Two children may be the same age, but their inner worlds — their expectations of others, their sense of safety — may be worlds apart.

As a foster parent, you are helping that child rewrite their internal story:

But it takes time. And it takes a lot of repetition. Sometimes, children will test your consistency, not because they’re being difficult, but because they need to see if you’ll still be there when things get hard. They will test you and push buttons to get a reaction to gauge your commitment.

It’s Not Easy, But It’s Worth It

Foster parenting isn’t just about offering a child a loving home. Sure that's part of it. More importantly, it’s about providing them a new model of what it means to be cared for — what it means to be safe. You are helping a child who may never have known what a genuine connection feels like to finally begin to trust again. No matter their age!

And while it may not look like traditional parenting, it is powerful parenting. It’s slow, patient, deeply intentional work. But it can be life-changing — for the child, and for you.  

Thinking about fostering?
Fostering a child or siblings with CCR could be one of the most meaningful journeys you ever embark on. If you're feeling overwhelmed just thinking about it, talk with us. We will guide you and answer any questions you may have.

Most likely, you meet all the requirements to foster a child, you just don't know it. You probably have more patience than you know. And you definitely have a kind heart for fostering or you wouldn't be reading this blog!  

Give yourself time to explore. When you're ready, we will guide you. We always need more foster parents for kids ages 2-18, especially siblings and teens. 

Please contact us to learn more about CCR and the kids needing your help.

Teen in Wisconsin Foster Care Ready for Stability

Looking for a foster home with stability and acceptance

Eli is 13 years old and needs a Wisconsin foster home where things don’t change every few months. Years of instability have taught him to be careful with trust. He watches first, listens closely, and waits to see if adults are really going to stay.

Or if they, too, will abandon him.

Understanding anger in teens in foster care

Eli carries a lot of anger from the challenges he’s faced. When he’s overwhelmed or feels misunderstood, that anger can come out in unhealthy ways like yelling, shutting down, or testing limits.

The important thing to know? Eli can calm down. With time, space, and a calm adult who doesn’t escalate the moment, he can regulate and reconnect. He will do best with qualified foster parents who understand that anger is a stress response, not a character flaw.

A foster home that provides predictability

Big chaos, loud homes, or constant changes can overwhelm Eli. He doesn’t respond well to lectures or punishment; he needs patience, clear boundaries, and adults who stay steady even when he can’t. This is where previous foster homes have failed him.

He responds best to calm, predictable routines, including work and family schedules. After school predictability is essential. Additionally, safe outlets like building, drawing, or spending time with family pets can help him regulate his emotions.

When he feels heard and respected, he begins to trust that adults will really be there for him. If not, his emotions can escalate.

School can also be challenging. Eli has ADHD and significant trauma in his past, which makes focusing and staying organized difficult. He receives school support and benefits most from encouragement and consistency rather than pressure. He is below grade level in most areas, particularly reading.

He requires a foster family that will strongly advocate for his education. Spending time reading at home will be important.

Supporting Eli through therapy and reunification

Eli is actively working through big emotions in therapy and will need a foster family willing to support that work. He also has ongoing contact with his biological family, and reunification remains the goal. His foster family will play a key role in helping him feel safe and supported as he prepares for that transition.

What Eli Needs in a Foster Home

Eli would thrive in a home where:

Fostering a teen like Eli isn’t about fixing him. It’s about holding steady when things get hard, staying regulated when he can’t, and showing him that safe adults don’t disappear.

If you’re interested in learning more about fostering teens or becoming a foster parent with CCR, we’re here when you’re ready to take the first step.

All identifying information has been changed to protect the identity of children in care. This is not a child needing a home.

How Are Foster Parents Matched with Foster Children

Matching foster children and youth with Wisconsin foster parents is a thoughtful and deliberate process designed to help children heal and foster parents succeed. At CCR, every placement is carefully made and doesn't happen overnight. Planned placements take time to ensure children can heal and families can thrive.

Placing Wisconsin foster children in the best available home possible is the responsibility of Brian Sullivan. Brian has been dedicated to CCR and our foster families for over 26 years. Each child and sibling group referred to CCR is unique, reflecting the diverse needs and trauma levels of the children in foster care. Learn more from Brian:Foster Care Coordinator Standing by Wisconsin Map

What is the process for matching a foster child with a family?

I am the primary contact for our contract counties and agencies that want to refer a child or sibling group for CCR foster care services. When a county agency needs to place a child outside its county due to resource limitations, it contacts me.

My primary responsibility is collecting comprehensive information about the child, including their requirements, history, and trauma histories, to find the most suitable CCR foster home. I carefully assess the pool of available foster parents to make the best possible match based on my understanding of the child's needs and the strengths of our foster parents.

Some things to consider are:

How many kids in Wisconsin foster care are referred to CCR each month?

CCR receives 50-60 referrals monthly from counties and tribes throughout Wisconsin. However, we can only place a small percentage of those children, primarily due to the need for more licensed foster families. Despite my best efforts, which often include other team members, there are many cases in which a suitable match is not found, and the referral is passed back to the referring agency.

The ongoing shortage of Wisconsin foster parents means we only sometimes have a family available to meet the child's needs.

What is the difference between county foster care and treatment level?

The difference between basic county-level foster care and treatment-level foster care lies in the level of service provided to the child and the foster family. For instance, a child in a county foster home may not receive necessary support services. A county worker may visit the house once a month, whereas at CCR, visits are made each week to ensure our foster parents receive much needed support and access to resources. In addition, we have a 24/7 on-call help line for our foster parents. 

What types of kids do CCR Wisconsin foster parents care for?

In recent years, we have noticed an increase in sibling groups displaced from their family homes. Also, finding homes for teenage girls and boys is our biggest challenge. Many new foster parents are hesitant to foster older kids, but our experienced foster parents find older youth less challenging than younger children.

Regardless of the ages and behaviors of the children placed, our foster parents must adhere to strict flexibility requirements. Being available for multiple appointments and interruptions during the week should be expected.

Can foster parents choose the children they foster?

When foster parents are open to different types and ages of kids, they can have unique experiences. While CCR needs homes for kids of all ages, the greatest need is to find foster homes for young sibling groups and teenagers. It's challenging to find one family that can accommodate a sibling group of 3 or 4 kids, both logistically and practically. At the same time, finding homes with flexible schedules to provide necessary supervision to teens is also challenging.

We respect the family's choice and never push them either way. Knowing that the decision is theirs is essential, and I will never make it for them.

Can foster parents meet the children before a placement?

I work closely with the potential family to arrange a pre-placement visit, which typically includes overnight or weekend stays. These visits allow foster parents to meet the child and gather as much information as possible to decide whether to pursue the placement. The visits also aid in the transition process so that the child has some knowledge about the family before joining them.

The foster family always has the option of accepting or declining a child. I strive to provide all available information to help them make the best choice for their family. A placement can last anywhere from 12 to 24 months and often longer. I work closely with the referring agency and county worker during this time to ensure we communicate effectively. 

The support and guidance provided by our team during the decision-making process help instill confidence and security in foster parents. This is a serious process that we do not take lightly. It is important that our families feel they have received all the support they need. Once a placement is made, our commitment to providing 24/7 support starts right away. 

What happens if the match with a foster child does not work out?

We understand that fostering a vulnerable child or sibling group can be complex and challenging. Many foster children come from difficult backgrounds and have heightened behaviors and emotions. These emotional and behavioral challenges require ongoing management and can be challenging for both the child and the foster parents.

Because our Clinical Case Managers are in the home weekly and offer 24/7 phone support, breakdowns and disruptions are often avoided.

Older children are encouraged to speak with their Clinical Case Manager. The CCM, in turn, will typically talk with the youth and the foster parent to understand where the placement is breaking down and implement steps to rebuild these areas. Well-planned meetings seek solutions and strategies for remedying the situation and resolving problems with the placement while considering the child's best interests. A 30-day notice to move the child may be unavoidable if this doesn't work.

Can I adopt my foster children? Children are often adopted by their CCR foster parents. However, the goal is most often reunification. Adoption happens less than 20% of the time.

CCR is committed to improving the outcomes of all the children and youth placed in our care. We have dedicated, compassionate team members with decades of field experience working diligently with our foster parents and county agencies to provide each child with the most suitable, safe home.

If you want to learn more about CCR and becoming a foster parent, please contact us anytime. We are glad to answer your questions and provide more details.

Teen in Wisconsin Foster Care Struggles to Find a Home

David has been in and out of Wisconsin foster care for five years. He is 14 years old. He is currently placed with a cousin struggling to meet his needs. Here is a bit of David's story:

Wisconsin foster parents need a flexible schedule

David, a 14-year-old boy, needs a foster home with at least one parent available or a parent with a highly flexible schedule. His journey has been challenging, having been diagnosed with depression, ODD, and ADHD. While he is not currently on medication, he is open to an assessment, believing it could be beneficial and help him with his emotions.

For David, a foster home with younger children and pets, particularly dogs, would be ideal. He enjoys the company of younger children and finds pets to be naturally calming. A home with these elements would provide a supportive environment for him.

Siblings in foster care are often separated.

David has two sisters who live with their grandmother in. The siblings have phone contact. Next month, there is a planned visit with grandma and sisters. He is excited for the visit and hopes it is not cancelled.

Several months ago, he was moved to live with his cousin for the second time. She is requesting the teen be transferred to a licensed foster home. The cousin is a single woman, working full-time. She is struggling with David's disrespect and unwillingness to follow the rules, which she attributes to their closeness in age. Although he has done well overall, the cousin is unable to provide the proper parenting and supervision that David needs.

Foster kids often struggle in school.

Schoolwork has been a struggle for years. David is in 9th grade and has an IEP. His cousin reports that David wants to attend school and often tries to do the required homework but needs assistance to complete assignments on time.

David has attended multiple schools in the last several years, making it difficult to make friends or build relationships. He likes to give the impression that he is "tough". In addition, the boy has a history of not taking responsibility for his behaviors. Instead, he will deny his involvement and blame others for his behavior.

More Wisconsin foster parents are needed for kids with trauma histories

David's story is not unique. Witness to unhealthy relationships, alcohol abuse, lack of proper schooling, separation from his siblings, and an incarcerated parent all create trauma, which means David presents emotions and behaviors that require consistent parenting, patience, and time to build trusting relationships.

Kids like David can thrive when a foster family can provide stability and structure! We've seen it hundreds of times with our CCR foster families. They begin to heal when the constant moving from home to home stops.

CCR is desperate for more families to become foster parents for kids like David. Learn how to become a foster parent in Wisconsin by calling us today.

*We did not have a foster home available for David, so the referring county continued their search for a home in the right location to meet his needs.

All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.

 

A Tragic History All Too Common For Teens

Wisconsin teens in foster care are survivors.

Like many kids in Wisconsin foster care, Cathy has not had many basic life experiences. She recently went into a grocery store for the first time in her life with her foster mom. She was utterly overwhelmed. She is no different than most kids in foster care. She is a survivor. She struggles to trust. She is vulnerable. She is hurting.

A structured, stable foster home environment can provide significant opportunities for healing and growth. Like most other youth in care, Cathy requires a foster home able to support her with patience, consistency, and flexibility.

Her path toward healing begins with new foster parents.

A no-contact order is in place with her father, and communication with her mother has been attempted, although it can be challenging. Their relationship is volatile and unpredictable. Cathy is angry and expresses she has no desire to see her mom.

Cathy is currently placed in a temporary foster home while the referring County searches for a long-term, stable placement for her. She likes her privacy, and being alone is comforting and important to her. She is creative and enjoys arts and crafts, as well as engaging in conversation with others. She is easy to get along with and likes jigsaw puzzles and the foster family dog.

Like many teens, she loves video games. Unfortunately, Cathy cannot play unsupervised because of a history of inappropriate online behavior. Cathy does have a cell phone, although her current foster mom uses a structured phone schedule and supervises content.

Dog on bed

Many youth in foster care need gentle reminders.

Basic hygiene reminders are necessary. Showering, deodorant, and feminine hygiene are constant reminders. Like many youth in foster care, Cathy needs encouragement and praise.

Although Cathy has completed her first year of high school, she tests at a 5th-grade level for reading and writing. In addition, she has an IEP and behavior plan at school.

While living with her parents, she required a lot of extra help every morning upon arrival at school due to a bed bug issue at home. She reports that it was hard and uncomfortable starting her day that way. She was often bullied.

Cathy displays nearly all signs of childhood trauma:
  1. Reliving the event (flashbacks or nightmares)
  2. Avoidance
  3. Anxiety
  4. Depression
  5. Anger
  6. Problems with trust
  7. Withdrawal

Like many teens, she sleeps a lot. However, the current team suspects this may be related to medication. She is seen for med management and attends therapy weekly.

reddish brown hair girl

CCR desperately needs more homes for teens.

Teens like Cathy are referred to CCR every day. They are kids hoping for a stable, loving, safe place to call home—a home where adults can be trusted, and kids can begin to heal.

We did not have a home in the right county location for Cathy, so the referring county continued its search. In part, CCR turns away a very high percentage of referred teens because foster parents, new and experienced, fear the unknown. The majority of foster families are afraid of troubled teens. The reality is these are good kids. You can help!

Please get in touch with us to learn more about fostering teens and how you can begin your fostering journey. Qualify to be a foster parent and get started today.

All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.

Teen Finds His Passion While in Foster Care

If you are considering being a foster parent, you will love this story! A feel-good account of one young man's journey to find his passion. His foster parents encouraged and supported him to try new things and work hard. Every season was a new adventure. They had yet to learn how hard he would work and where it would lead. Nick proves that teens in foster care can heal, grow, and reach their goals!

Teens in foster care must be encouraged to explore activities.

Nick came to our family with his brother in February 2017 as a shy, timid boy. It seemed like he was always waiting for something bad to happen because that was his past; that's what he knew. It took him six months to look people in the eye when talking. When he got used to school, he asked us about sports, and we encouraged them. First, Nick played baseball, and after a couple of fly balls to the head, we decided that he should do something different.

Then came football, but a concussion sidelined him. Wrestling was next, and he liked it and was good. Finally, in 7th grade, he gave Track a try and discovered he had a talent for running. In 8th grade, he also ran Cross Country, won several races, and found his passion!

He continued with Track and Cross Country throughout High School, going to state his Junior year in both. He just missed standing on the podium with an 8th place finish in the mile that year in track and finished 18th at state in CC. During this time, he was still wrestling, winning matches, and having fun. Determined to make it to the podium in CC and Track his Senior Year, Nick put in close to 2,500 miles in the off-season. To say it paid off is an understatement.

Foster care can provide opportunities for self-discovery

Nick won Conference and returned to State in Cross Country, earning a 7th-place finish. Next up, he qualified for the Junior Olympics. 
Our family trip to College Station, Texas, to watch him run was amazing! Nick ran a brilliant race and placed 9th out of 93 17-18-year-old athletes from all over the United States.
During Nick's senior Year in Track, he was one of the top runners in the State, winning both Conference and Regionals in the 1600 and 3200-meter runs. At Sectionals, Nick again placed 1st in the 1600 and placed a close 2nd in the 3200. He broke his own school records in each event and holds five individual records at his High School.
Nick signed his letter of intent to run Cross Country and Track at UW Stout next year. Nick is proof that kids can heal. Teens in foster care can reach for their dreams like any other kid. It doesn’t matter where you come from as long as you put your mind to it.

Adopting from foster care has been a gift to my family.

My wife and I adopted Nick and his brother Richie in 2020, making us a family of 9 then. (Now we are 10) I encourage everyone to consider giving a teen in foster care a chance to reach for the stars!

AdoptionStitzer

CCR desperately needs more foster homes for teens. Please don't fear fostering teens; please don't believe fostering little kids will be easier to care for. Remember that challenging behaviors don’t necessarily begin during the teenage years. Many behaviors and emotions build over time, often starting in the early years of development. The good news is healing does happen. Teens like Nick can blossom and offer foster parents many unexpected rewards.
All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.

Teens in Foster Care are Waiting

Another heartbreaking story of a teen in foster care. Meet Emily, a 13-year-old Wisconsin girl needing a new foster home. Her story is familiar; her trauma is prevalent. Yet, her wish for a loving home continues.

More foster parents are needed for teens.

Most Wisconsin foster kids ages 11-18 are placed in group homes or residential facilities. Older kids of the same age range and gender live together in a house with staff and 24/7 supervision. Sadly, these kids would heal best in a family environment. A home with a loving parent or two, possibly with other children, pets, and opportunities for healthy, structured family activities.

Emily lives in a Wisconsin group home, hoping to move to a loving, nurturing family home.

There are hundreds of teens in Wisconsin foster care without a home.

Dozens of teens like Emily are referred to CCR each month. Emily does not have contact with her biological family. She has one brother who lives with an aunt in southern Wisconsin. She also has a half-brother, but his location is unknown. In addition, Emily is a victim of severe neglect and prolonged sexual abuse by more than one individual. As a result, she struggles with not feeling worthy or loved and has difficulty forming healthy relationships.

Youth like Emily can thrive when placed with nurturing foster parents. With the right tools and 24/7 agency support, foster parents can see tremendous growth and healing with their children.

Too many kids in foster care have suffered from unimaginable neglect and abuse.

Kids like Emily come to us with a long list of challenges. Teens with significant trauma often struggle with emotions, behaviors, relationships, and academics. Our goal is to help them heal. CCR foster parents are trained to help kids like Emily who are challenged and burdened with a variety of diagnoses, such as:

Emily is engaging, willingly participates in household chores, likes animals, and loves younger children. Her favorite activity is baking cookies. She says she can't think of negative things when focused on baking. She is not fond of dressing up or polishing nails but prefers using her creativity to draw and paint.

Emily admits she doesn't like school and often does not try her best. She has few friends at school but gets along well with other girls in her group home. Yet, for all, she has been through, she has a positive attitude and wears a smile most of the time.

Less than 20% of kids will be placed in a loving home!

We were disappointed that we could not place Emily in a loving home. Unfortunately, we did not have the right home in the right location to meet her higher needs.

Emily will remain in her current group home until the referring county locates a home for her. On average, CCR receives 40-45 child referrals each month. Unfortunately, less than 20% of kids will be placed in a stable foster home.

We do not have enough foster homes, especially for teenagers like Emily.

Please get in touch with us to learn how you can get started.

Wisconsin Teen Told He Should Never Have Been Adopted

A Wisconsin teen is in search of a new foster family. Mitchell is 13 and in foster care again. He needs a foster home as soon as possible, where he can get back on track with the consistency/predictability of programming while knowing he is safe and wanted. Would you have considered helping Mitchell if you were a CCR foster parent?

Teen in foster care hoping for a new family

Mitchell's adoptive mother recently made contact with him, causing several issues and disrupting his most recent foster home placement. His mother is highly triggering to him. Mitchell is not interested in communicating with his mother at this time. Due to the upsetting events, the current foster family has submitted a 30-day removal request, and the county is searching for a new home.

skateboard boy

His adoptive mother has repeatedly told Mitchell that he should never have been adopted and that he has destroyed her life. As a result, he is pretty dysregulated and anxious about finding a "new family" and inquires if every person who walks through the door will be his new mom or dad.

Mitchell is reactive to yelling/arguing; thus, he will do best with a calm foster family who is not quick to anger and can effectively use de-escalation tools. He is very good at testing limits. Much of his escalation occurs when providers get into power struggles with him. He likes to have control, so options are best for him, allowing him to make his own decisions.

Fostering teens requires patience and acceptance.

A new foster home should be able to provide Mitchell with consistent parenting skills and a structured, well-planned, scheduled home environment. He would do well in a house with younger children and a home with great flexibility to transport Mitchell to appointments and programs. In addition, he has expressed hope of finding a family with dogs or a farm. However, he has never experienced having a pet.

chicken

He craves attention and often overwhelms others to make people like him. Mitchell does well with peers but needs help with perceptions/what other kids think. He perseverates on comments other kids make, which is when behaviors show up.

He has been physically and verbally aggressive with his mother in the past. His mother preempts the aggression by telling him she does not want him anymore. His current foster family reports when Mitchell is dysregulated; he can be successfully redirected by offering a snack. He responds well to bear hugs and tight hand-holding. He does not like formal exercise. Using an outdoor swing has successfully allowed Mitchell to calm himself down.

Getting foster kids involved in sports helps in many ways.

Mitchell loves basketball in the driveway, which has also been a good coping activity. He also enjoys playing video games and riding his skateboard. In addition, he was able to participate in the school football program last fall. The structure, interaction with the other boys, and the presence of the coaching staff was an excellent experience for him.

skateboard

Mitchell has diagnoses of Autistic Disorder, ADHD, Anxiety, Sensory Integration Disorder, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (likely caused by trauma). Cognitively, Mitchell functions close to his age level. However, he often struggles to express emotions effectively and tell you why he is upset. Mitchell has an ongoing psychiatrist and is prescribed medication.

A positive male influence, as well as calm personalities, would benefit Mitchell. He is currently attending afternoon therapy and working on how he perceives others and his interactions with peers and others around him. They have reported he is incredibly respectful and follows through on what is asked of him.

CCR is desperate for more foster parents wanting to help kids like Mitchell. Last month we received 22 teen referrals from counties across Wisconsin. Unfortunately, we did not have a home for any of them. Placing teens in loving homes is getting more and more difficult.

Please visit our how to qualify to become a foster parent page and learn about the requirements you need.

Foster Parents With Little Kids Have Big Challenges

Becoming a foster parent requires serious consideration of the ages of foster children you wish to help. There is a large misconception that teens are horrible and little ones are adorable. That couldn't be farther from the truth in most cases. In the 31 years we have supported foster families; we see a repeated trend. New foster parents think they want to foster little kids but can quickly have a change of heart after actually doing it. Without agency support and a basic understanding of childhood trauma, foster parents can struggle to foster younger children. Let's explore:

Wisconsin foster parents needed to help younger siblings.

Two young brothers were recently referred to us by a county agency hoping to find a suitable foster home. Adam is five years old; he and his 6-year-old brother Aiden desperately need a foster family to meet their higher needs. The boys have been living with their maternal grandmother for five months, but she has expressed that she can no longer care for the boys long-term. She has reported being emotionally and physically exhausted. She hopes the county can find her grandsons a suitable home to handle and address their behaviors, delays, and emotions.

There is no family interaction plan at this time. Mom is not responding to the county worker, and other family members are unable and unwilling to care for the boys.Foster child with worried look on face

Aiden is in kindergarten. Adam is enrolled in a pre-K program. Both boys struggle socially with their peers, and neither is at age level developmentally. Aiden is more independent than Adam and can play alone for short periods. Adam struggles with independent play and craves individual attention. Adam has difficulty expressing himself due to a speech pediment and often expresses his frustration with anger and meltdowns. He is working with a speech therapist as it is difficult to understand some of his words and speech patterns.

Both boys enjoy being with other children but have difficulty reading social cues and respecting personal space. Adam is quick to interact with other children but often isn't included in play due to his assertiveness. His inability to play with boundaries has been a concern of the preschool staff. He is often redirected or given a task to divert him from a situation. He is a very energetic child and enjoys playing outside with Aiden and building with Legos.

Keeping siblings together is a struggle in foster care.

Aiden is a good listener and generally follows directions and expectations. He can play too rough with his brother at times but is sensitive to his brother's needs. He is behind in school but enjoys going. Both boys were drug-affected infants and suffered severe neglect before removal from the home. It is reported that Aiden has some memories of witnessing family violence and drug use.

It is important that the boys be placed together with older children or no other children in the home. Their need for individual attention would be difficult for a single working parent or parents with younger children in the house. A two-parent home is desired, ideally with one parent at home, to meet individual needs and Adams's constant desire for one-on-one interaction. The connection to their maternal grandmother will be essential to maintain. She has requested the boys be allowed to visit with her when possible.

The boys are similar to many other young siblings in foster care. Neglect and domestic violence have traumatic effects on developing minds, leading to behaviors and emotions that don't always make sense to the outside world. That is where trauma-informed parenting tools are essential. A recent post made by a foster mom on a social media feed resembles the needs and history of Aiden and Adam.

Foster mom takes to social media asking for help.

We've had our sibling set for three months now: a four-year-old girl (turning 5 in a month) and a six-year-old boy. Our foster son is in first grade, and we have struggled to find a suitable daycare or pre-k program for our foster daughter. She is needy, wanders, and struggles with attention. She has severe attachment issues. She is NOT like a typical four-year-old. She does NOT play with toys, EVER! She instead follows me around all day, sits on me, touches me, and asks questions I know she knows the answers to. She does things she knows she shouldn't be doing as soon as I turn away for a split second. I am not even a little bit overdramatic here either. My patience is wearing so thin.

I sit with her during breakfast, play with her after breakfast, color together, or work on some Pre-K stuff I've printed from home; I let her sit and snuggle with me for a little bit. I don't know what else to do! I encourage her to be independent, but she doesn't get it. She comes right back to me. I struggle to do dishes, laundry, or other chores. I understand she is little and has been traumatized, but this is hard! Even when big brother is home from school, he goes and plays...she still follows my every move. Please be kind with any advice, I am trying my best, and I do not want to disrupt this placement.

foster mom pulling at her hair frustrated

WOW! This struggling foster mom needs the support of a great agency and continued trauma-informed care training. In addition, her foster daughter would greatly benefit from a CANS evaluation. A tool designed to measure the strengths and needs of a child to get necessary support and therapy services. THIS is why many foster parents ask for kids to be removed from their homes. It is also why many foster parents transition to care for older kids. It is a lot. It is exhausting. It is VERY different than parenting well-adjusted children from stable, structured environments.

Foster parents need 24/7 support.

The fact is, she is not alone. So many foster parents caring for younger children are overwhelmed. Their agency often does not fully support them, and they are not trained in trauma-informed care principles. Fostering kids with trauma is NOT like caring for well-adjusted kids. These kids have a lot going on, and foster parents need to have the skills and tools to help their kids successfully.

There are hundreds of sibling groups like Aiden and Adam in Wisconsin foster care. Like the foster mom above, many foster parents share stories online and ask for much-needed advice and support. At CCR, we receive 40-50 referrals each month from counties across Wisconsin looking for a suitable home for kids like these brothers. If you are interested in fostering, we would love to speak with you. We will educate you, train you, and support you to care for kids with higher levels of trauma. OR, you can jump in and foster older kids if caring for littles isn't the best fit for you.

Teens in Wisconsin Foster Care - Desperate for Homes

CCR is desperate for new foster parents wishing to help Wisconsin teens. More Teenagers in foster care than ever are at risk of aging out of care with no family or dependable support system. In 2022 we have seen a significant increase in the number of teens referred to CCR. Sadly, it is increasingly challenging to license new foster parents wishing to care for kids over age 12. Although CCR has an exceptional success rate in helping teens in foster care get on a road to healing and success, we don't have enough homes for most of them. 

Not enough homes for 90% of teens in foster care. 

CCR receives nearly 50 referrals each month from counties across Wisconsin. Most of the kids referred to us are teens, and we cannot place almost 90% of them. The lack of teen foster homes is a state-wide crisis that continues to increase. Licensing new foster parents for teens has been a struggle for many years, but the numbers are getting increasingly dismal. Less than 15% of folks contacting CCR are interested in fostering older youth. The stigma remains. The rumors are still out there. Sadly, only a tiny fraction of those licensed want to help teens.

The truth is that most experienced foster parents believe that caring for teens is often more manageable and less stressful than caring for younger children. There are dozens of testimonials here at Community Care Resources of the positive impact one adult can have on an older child. We have single foster parents, married couples, LGBT foster parents, parents in their 30's, and others in their 70's doing fantastic work with teens. 

It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, or what you might feel your limitations are; you may have precisely what a teen needs to succeed. Foster parents discover that they have an array of skills and life experiences worth sharing with a teen. The growth and healing that can happen before your eyes and the lasting impact you can have on a child's life are like no other experience.

Qualifying to foster teens is easier than one might think.  

CCR foster parents represent the diversity of the state and the diversity of the young people receiving care. There is a variety of race, gender, culture, sexual orientation, and financial status. A diverse pool of available foster families helps us match kids with the people who can best meet their specific needs. To read more about teens needing homes., read our meet our foster kids blog.

Foster parents best suited to fostering teenagers: 

foster parents

The placement process of foster kids is a team effort led by our placement coordinator Brian Sullivan. The team works diligently to create placements that will be successful for both parents and children.

"Fostering a teen is one of the BEST things we have ever done. It was not on our radar, but we took a leap. We are so happy to have two teen sisters in our care! They are thriving, doing well in school, and have made many friends.  We thank God every day for sending them to us! Jodi from Calumet County, Wisconsin

Preparing a teen for independence involves mentoring and coaching.

Helping a teen prepare for being on their own and stabilized for the next phase in their life is an exciting journey. In place of tying shoes, helping with baths and bedtime, and keeping little ones on task, foster parents teach an older child life skills. It involves structure, supervision, and acceptance. When fostering a teen, the focus is on listening, patience, and consistency. Teaching older children to be independent and preparing them for life on their own can bring numerous rewards and big successes. Any of the following should be expected.

Teens in foster care struggle with increasing mental health concerns.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide among kids ages 10-17 increased by over 70% from 2006-2016. During the height of Covid19, teen suicide and mental health concerns rose to an all-time high. In 2021, the American Academy of Pediatrics declared a state of emergency concerning children's and adolescents' mental health. The pressures of social media, lack of in-person relationships, and the absence of parents and adults create toxic outcomes for teens. Complicated and severe trauma histories compound mental health disorders of adolescents in foster care. Foster parents provide the essential positive environments these kids need and crave. 

To foster teens, you must be honest about your relationship skills and willingness to be helpful. We would love to speak with you about the details of fostering teen girls or boys. Please call or email us anytime, we look forward to helping you explore fostering and providing the answers to foster care questions you have.

 

GET YOUR FOSTER LICENSE IN 100 DAYS! Homes for kids 10-18 are desperately needed.