How Are Foster Parents Matched with Foster Children

Matching foster children and youth with Wisconsin foster parents is a thoughtful and deliberate process designed to help children heal and foster parents succeed. At CCR, every placement is carefully made and doesn't happen overnight. Planned placements take time to ensure children can heal and families can thrive.

Placing Wisconsin foster children in the best available home possible is the responsibility of Brian Sullivan. Brian has been dedicated to CCR and our foster families for over 26 years. Each child and sibling group referred to CCR is unique, reflecting the diverse needs and trauma levels of the children in foster care. Learn more from Brian:Foster Care Coordinator Standing by Wisconsin Map

What is the process for matching a foster child with a family?

I am the primary contact for our contract counties and agencies that want to refer a child or sibling group for CCR foster care services. When a county agency needs to place a child outside its county due to resource limitations, it contacts me.

My primary responsibility is collecting comprehensive information about the child, including their requirements, history, and trauma histories, to find the most suitable CCR foster home. I carefully assess the pool of available foster parents to make the best possible match based on my understanding of the child's needs and the strengths of our foster parents.

Some things to consider are:

How many kids in Wisconsin foster care are referred to CCR each month?

CCR receives 50-60 referrals monthly from counties and tribes throughout Wisconsin. However, we can only place a small percentage of those children, primarily due to the need for more licensed foster families. Despite my best efforts, which often include other team members, there are many cases in which a suitable match is not found, and the referral is passed back to the referring agency.

The ongoing shortage of Wisconsin foster parents means we only sometimes have a family available to meet the child's needs.

What is the difference between county foster care and treatment level?

The difference between basic county-level foster care and treatment-level foster care lies in the level of service provided to the child and the foster family. For instance, a child in a county foster home may not receive necessary support services. A county worker may visit the house once a month, whereas at CCR, visits are made each week to ensure our foster parents receive much needed support and access to resources. In addition, we have a 24/7 on-call help line for our foster parents. 

What types of kids do CCR Wisconsin foster parents care for?

In recent years, we have noticed an increase in sibling groups displaced from their family homes. Also, finding homes for teenage girls and boys is our biggest challenge. Many new foster parents are hesitant to foster older kids, but our experienced foster parents find older youth less challenging than younger children.

Regardless of the ages and behaviors of the children placed, our foster parents must adhere to strict flexibility requirements. Being available for multiple appointments and interruptions during the week should be expected.

Can foster parents choose the children they foster?

When foster parents are open to different types and ages of kids, they can have unique experiences. While CCR needs homes for kids of all ages, the greatest need is to find foster homes for young sibling groups and teenagers. It's challenging to find one family that can accommodate a sibling group of 3 or 4 kids, both logistically and practically. At the same time, finding homes with flexible schedules to provide necessary supervision to teens is also challenging.

We respect the family's choice and never push them either way. Knowing that the decision is theirs is essential, and I will never make it for them.

Can foster parents meet the children before a placement?

I work closely with the potential family to arrange a pre-placement visit, which typically includes overnight or weekend stays. These visits allow foster parents to meet the child and gather as much information as possible to decide whether to pursue the placement. The visits also aid in the transition process so that the child has some knowledge about the family before joining them.

The foster family always has the option of accepting or declining a child. I strive to provide all available information to help them make the best choice for their family. A placement can last anywhere from 12 to 24 months and often longer. I work closely with the referring agency and county worker during this time to ensure we communicate effectively. 

The support and guidance provided by our team during the decision-making process help instill confidence and security in foster parents. This is a serious process that we do not take lightly. It is important that our families feel they have received all the support they need. Once a placement is made, our commitment to providing 24/7 support starts right away. 

What happens if the match with a foster child does not work out?

We understand that fostering a vulnerable child or sibling group can be complex and challenging. Many foster children come from difficult backgrounds and have heightened behaviors and emotions. These emotional and behavioral challenges require ongoing management and can be challenging for both the child and the foster parents.

Because our Clinical Case Managers are in the home weekly and offer 24/7 phone support, breakdowns and disruptions are often avoided.

Older children are encouraged to speak with their Clinical Case Manager. The CCM, in turn, will typically talk with the youth and the foster parent to understand where the placement is breaking down and implement steps to rebuild these areas. Well-planned meetings seek solutions and strategies for remedying the situation and resolving problems with the placement while considering the child's best interests. A 30-day notice to move the child may be unavoidable if this doesn't work.

Can I adopt my foster children? Children are often adopted by their CCR foster parents. However, the goal is most often reunification. Adoption happens less than 20% of the time.

CCR is committed to improving the outcomes of all the children and youth placed in our care. We have dedicated, compassionate team members with decades of field experience working diligently with our foster parents and county agencies to provide each child with the most suitable, safe home.

If you want to learn more about CCR and becoming a foster parent, please contact us anytime. We are glad to answer your questions and provide more details.

Wisconsin Boy Needs a Pre-Adopt Foster Home

LaBron is a resilient 10-year-old Wisconsin boy in need of a foster home where he can feel safe, supported, and seen by his foster parents. His story isn’t easy—he’s experienced neglect, physical abuse, and has witnessed family violence—but despite it all, LaBron continues to show his vibrant personality and caring heart.

A boy in foster care with a big heart and a curious spirit

LaBron is the kind of child who lights up when trying new things. He especially loves tasting new foods; his favorite candy is orange Skittles. He enjoys playing basketball outdoors and watching his favorite TV shows. One of the ways LaBron shows his thoughtful nature is in how he plays and interacts with family pets. He is gentle, nurturing, and a helpful caretaker. A foster family with pets may be a perfect match for LaBron.

AI 10 year old with dog

He had never had his own bedroom before and always shared a space with his mom, so he takes great pride in his tidy bedroom and bed. LaBron enjoys keeping his personal space neat and organized and takes excellent care of his belongings. These small routines help him feel grounded and in control—something that hasn't always been the case in his early years.

LaBron needs a foster family with time, patience, and a flexible schedule.

Because of his early experiences and diagnoses—Phonological Disorder, ADHD, and trauma-related stress disorder—LaBron needs a foster home that can offer structure, patience, and a lot of one-on-one time. He attends school with a 504 plan and is below grade level in most areas, particularly reading. When feeling overwhelmed, he visits the counselor’s office and wraps up in a weighted blanket to help self-regulate.

LaBron is sensitive to loud noises and can become overstimulated, so he must have space to calm down when needed. His ideal home would be quiet, predictable, and nurturing, with caregivers who understand trauma and can set firm but gentle boundaries.

He has weekly Zoom visits with his biological mom, who is incarcerated, and will need continued support for that relationship. He also needs ongoing therapy and medication management.

A pre-adopt foster family is desired

The referring county is searching for a pre-adoptive foster home, however, the goal remains reunification at this time, but that goal can change at any time.

LaBron would thrive in a home where:

Fostering a child like LaBron means showing up with empathy, flexibility, and a willingness to parent using the trauma-informed skills learned in foster parent training. It means seeing beyond behaviors to the boy inside who wants to feel safe, valued, and part of a family.

You can learn more about how to become a foster parent with CCR and contact us when you're ready to take the first step.

All identifying information have been changed to protect the identity of children.

Wisconsin Foster Child Desperate for a Family

Arthur is a 12-year-old who loves school and tacos. He has been in Wisconsin foster care for nearly half his life. He is one of almost 40 children referred to us in the past month from county foster agencies across Wisconsin. We tried unsuccessfully to match Arthur with a CCR foster family that could meet his elevated needs. A lack of foster families for kids like Arthur is an ongoing problem with no end in sight. Telling a county, "We don't have a home," never gets easier. Here is Arthur's story.

Hundreds of Wisconsin foster kids need loving homes.

His story resembles the hundreds of kids we could not match with a loving family this year. He is a great kid who desperately wants to belong. He misses his mom and siblings. He is a boy trying to be "good" while not able to understand his circumstances fully.

On paper, Arthur looks like lots of other boys. He loves school, pizza, and tacos. He is helpful and sensitive to others. On most days, Arthur is in a good mood. He does well when things are organized and in order. Structure and clear expectations are beneficial in keeping Arthur focused.

Boy with foster mom

Like many boys, he enjoys Legos, karate, playing outside, and science-related activities. Although he is nearly 13, he demonstrates the development and maturity of a 10-year-old. Arthur most often shows respect and an interest in others. He does well in school, completing work and assignments on time.

Wisconsin foster parents can provide a structured environment.

Arthur is capable of following simple directions most of the time. He does best when given one task at a time rather than multiple instructions or tasks. Healthy boundaries are an ongoing treatment piece for Arthur. He is currently working on asking for hugs instead of hugging someone without consent. A foster home with a structured environment with clear rules and boundaries is critical. Having a parent at home when Arthur is not in school would be best.

Misplacing and losing his eyeglasses is a continued problem that Arthur is trying hard to do better with. Arthur is prescribed several medications but is overall healthy and likes to get exercise. It is noted that Arthur is full of high energy in the morning. This appears to be related to his excitement to attend school, as he often wants to go immediately and struggles to wait. Arthur must be challenged to stay active to expel his energy and thrive in his new placement.

It would be essential for Arthur to remain involved in therapy on a consistent and regular basis.

Respite care offers Arthur a visit with his biological siblings.

fostering a teenager

Although Arthur's biological mother resides out of state, he has weekly telephone contact with her. The frequency of the mother's contact has increased over the past two months. She has recently expressed a desire to visit Arthur in person. Parental rights have been terminated for all of Arthur's siblings. Two of the siblings have been adopted, and the adoptive family is open to continued contact with Arthur. He inquires about his siblings often. The adoptive mother often offers respite care for Arthur so the children can spend time together.

A two-parent household with a parent available to Arthur when he is not in school is desired. Due to his energy levels and need to be busy and engaged, it would be best if Arthur were placed in a foster home with other children.

There have been no known instances of physical aggression with peers in the last six months. Arthur does not instigate peer conflict. However, he can be verbally aggressive in retaliation. Arthur will attempt to fit in with his peers, often resulting in negative consequences since the kids he responds to exhibit inappropriate behaviors.

It has been noted that before Arthur's current placement, many of his medications prescribed previously were likely not effective in helping to manage behaviors. Medication changes have taken place and seem to be effective.

Many foster children require an Individual Education Plan (IEP)

Arthur enjoys school and especially likes math. He has an IEP for learning needs. The IEP also includes a learning disability in reading and written expression. There are no concerns at this time with current teachers and aides. Arthur has made significant progress. Before his current placement, he had several verbal and physical altercations at school. He would threaten others, refuse to do his work, and on one occasion, he intentionally hit his head against a wall. Again, there has been no negative behavior in the current placement.

Foster kids thrive with positive reinforcement.

Arthur must have outlets and opportunities for physical activity. He has a lot of energy and thrives when given a structured opportunity to expel his energy. Arthur craves affection and will assert himself to have this need fulfilled. Reminders are needed to respect other people's personal boundaries and personal space. Foster parents should clearly outline rules and expectations. He does best with positive reinforcement.

It will be necessary for Arthur to establish a relationship with a potential family before placement. An overnight or weekend preplacement visit would be beneficial. A therapist should be established for Arthur before his new placement to ensure no disruptions in his treatment.

Community Care Resources receives approximately 40-45 referrals each month. We do our best to match each child and sibling group with a CCR foster family that can best meet their needs. The challenges of caring for a child with heightened behaviors require CCR foster parents to have flexible schedules. This allows for unplanned interruptions, meetings, appointments, and family visits.

We desperately need more foster homes to care for kids like Arthur. Feel free to call us anytime if you'd like to learn more. 800-799-0459

*Names and identifying information of children in all CCR blogs are changed to protect privacy.

 

Wisconsin Teen Told He Should Never Have Been Adopted

A Wisconsin teen is in search of a new foster family. Mitchell is 13 and in foster care again. He needs a foster home as soon as possible, where he can get back on track with the consistency/predictability of programming while knowing he is safe and wanted. Would you have considered helping Mitchell if you were a CCR foster parent?

Teen in foster care hoping for a new family

Mitchell's adoptive mother recently made contact with him, causing several issues and disrupting his most recent foster home placement. His mother is highly triggering to him. Mitchell is not interested in communicating with his mother at this time. Due to the upsetting events, the current foster family has submitted a 30-day removal request, and the county is searching for a new home.

skateboard boy

His adoptive mother has repeatedly told Mitchell that he should never have been adopted and that he has destroyed her life. As a result, he is pretty dysregulated and anxious about finding a "new family" and inquires if every person who walks through the door will be his new mom or dad.

Mitchell is reactive to yelling/arguing; thus, he will do best with a calm foster family who is not quick to anger and can effectively use de-escalation tools. He is very good at testing limits. Much of his escalation occurs when providers get into power struggles with him. He likes to have control, so options are best for him, allowing him to make his own decisions.

Fostering teens requires patience and acceptance.

A new foster home should be able to provide Mitchell with consistent parenting skills and a structured, well-planned, scheduled home environment. He would do well in a house with younger children and a home with great flexibility to transport Mitchell to appointments and programs. In addition, he has expressed hope of finding a family with dogs or a farm. However, he has never experienced having a pet.

chicken

He craves attention and often overwhelms others to make people like him. Mitchell does well with peers but needs help with perceptions/what other kids think. He perseverates on comments other kids make, which is when behaviors show up.

He has been physically and verbally aggressive with his mother in the past. His mother preempts the aggression by telling him she does not want him anymore. His current foster family reports when Mitchell is dysregulated; he can be successfully redirected by offering a snack. He responds well to bear hugs and tight hand-holding. He does not like formal exercise. Using an outdoor swing has successfully allowed Mitchell to calm himself down.

Getting foster kids involved in sports helps in many ways.

Mitchell loves basketball in the driveway, which has also been a good coping activity. He also enjoys playing video games and riding his skateboard. In addition, he was able to participate in the school football program last fall. The structure, interaction with the other boys, and the presence of the coaching staff was an excellent experience for him.

skateboard

Mitchell has diagnoses of Autistic Disorder, ADHD, Anxiety, Sensory Integration Disorder, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (likely caused by trauma). Cognitively, Mitchell functions close to his age level. However, he often struggles to express emotions effectively and tell you why he is upset. Mitchell has an ongoing psychiatrist and is prescribed medication.

A positive male influence, as well as calm personalities, would benefit Mitchell. He is currently attending afternoon therapy and working on how he perceives others and his interactions with peers and others around him. They have reported he is incredibly respectful and follows through on what is asked of him.

CCR is desperate for more foster parents wanting to help kids like Mitchell. Last month we received 22 teen referrals from counties across Wisconsin. Unfortunately, we did not have a home for any of them. Placing teens in loving homes is getting more and more difficult.

Please visit our how to qualify to become a foster parent page and learn about the requirements you need.

New Foster Parents Found for Sibling Group

So many foster parents in counties across Wisconsin are caring for sibling groups. More than 70% of foster children at CCR are in care with at least one sibling. We recently received a referral for a sibling group of three. After spending four weeks in a county foster home, their foster parents gave notice for removal stating the siblings were more than they could manage. After careful exploration and consideration, we placed all three children in a loving, flexible foster home that could meet their higher needs. Here is a bit of their history.

Foster parents need more training and support.

Dominick will be four years old in February. He and his two sisters suffer from prolonged neglect. As a result, each has heightened behaviors and emotions that prove too much for Basic Level Foster Parents. Not because the foster parents didn't have big hearts or best intentions but rather because they were not equipped with the necessary training or support. To successfully care for children with severe trauma, foster parents need more. Likewise, to heal and grow, foster kids need more.

autism kid looking far away without interesting SBI 300997599 2

Caring for three kids under age 6 with heightened behaviors is challenging, even for the most seasoned foster parents. Trauma-informed parenting is essential to helping kids heal and promoting successful outcomes. Unfortunately, even the best foster parents can struggle to manage the behaviors and emotions of young children without the necessary training and support services. 

The challenge is TRAUMA. In Dominick's case, more than basic parenting skills and minimal support from an agency was needed. 

Why must foster parents meet flexibility requirements?

Dominick and his sisters, Mariah, 2, and Marissa, 6, without a doubt, needed foster parents who would utilize trauma-informed parenting skills while readily available to meet their higher needs. In addition, a successful foster home would require a parent available at all times, as daycare was unsuccessful in the previous placement.

He and his sisters were removed from the home after Mariah suffered significant burns on her stomach and chest from the kitchen oven. Mom was home when the incident occurred. She has a history of drug and alcohol abuse and has an on-again, off-again relationship with Mariah's father. Her parental rights have been terminated for six older children.

At nearly four, Dominick is not potty trained, is speech delayed, and struggles with anger, heightened emotions, and behaviors. In addition, he struggles to play or interact appropriately with his sisters, 

Dominick went to daycare with Mariah 3 days a week. However, the two were separated due to Dominick's aggressive behavior toward his sister. The staff contacted the foster mom several times concerning his behavior and reported that most days were spent redirecting or separating Dominick from other children. 

Trauma is present in what may appear to be normal sibling rivalry.

The previous foster mom reported that Dominick has difficulty sleeping at night and wakes others in the house with screaming and wall kicking. In addition, he and his older sister fight for attention constantly. Hitting, kicking, biting, and pushing were common occurrences, and increased supervision was required when the children were in the same room. 

He communicates his needs and wants somewhat effectively and figures out quickly how things work. He requires direct, line-of-sight supervision and 1:1 attention, which he does well with. He can count to 5 and knows some of his colors. He is easily triggered when he does not get the attention he seeks. On the other hand, he can be a very sweet, affectionate boy. 

It was recommended that Dominick be placed in a new foster home without pets as he had taken his frustrations out on the family dog several times, but he was never hurt. In addition, it was noted that Dominick must be separated from his sisters when dressing due to the use of inappropriate language in the presence of his sisters. 

Attention-seeking behaviors are commonplace. 

Dominick loves music, which helps keep him focused and calm during diaper changes, teeth brushing, and bathing. He loves putting on his shoes and rides very well in his car seat, if not within reach of Marissa. He washes his hands well and will often help clear his place after meals. He does well with positive affirmations and loves a loud "great job." However, he is easily upset if his sisters get positive attention and will push Mariah or throw toys or objects at both girls.

sad children in nature outdoor SBI 300988624

The previous foster mom stated the kids could grow and heal if they are in the right environment and get needed services. However, a 30-day notice was given by the family because the three kids together were too much to handle. The foster mom worked three days a week, and her husband worked Monday-Friday, often returning home at 6 pm. Along with their biological children, 9 and 12, managing everybody was more than they anticipated. 

Kids in foster care can thrive if given the necessary services and support.

There has been a noticeable change in the siblings in the six weeks spent in their current CCR foster home. Most notably, Dominick responds very well to being at home with their foster mom vs. going to daycare. The 1:1 attention and heightened supervision needed made it difficult for him to succeed at daycare. It is not uncommon for kids with significant trauma to struggle in a daycare environment. 

Mealtime continues to be a struggle, particularly for Marissa and Dominick, but the kids are trying more foods and learning about healthy eating. Bedtime and bath routines are very lengthy but overall successful. Meltdowns are still common with Mariah and Dominick but using Trauma-Informed parenting tools helps, as well as the 24/7 support of their Clinical Case Manager.

All three children visit with their mom once per week. Mariah also visits with her father. In addition, the assigned CCR Clinical Case Manager visits the home each week for approximately 2.5 hours. Weekly support visits are provided to all CCR foster families. 

"There is a lot of history there that needs to be unpacked and explored." noted their previous foster mom. "Dominick's violent tendencies can be frightening, but at the same time, he is a loveable little boy."

This sibling group is the second placement for the CCR foster family. They do not have other children living at home or pets, which seems helpful to all three kids. The foster mom works part-time, two evenings each week, and her husband works full-time days, arriving home by 4:30. They are supported by friends and local family and are taking things one day at a time with the kids. Both are hopeful that all three kids will continue to thrive in their home.  

Understanding trauma and using trauma-informed parenting are crucial to helping kids heal. Therefore, all CCR foster parents are trained to use trauma-informed tools and receive great support from our highly trained staff. As a result, kids like Dominick and his sisters can heal with proper treatment. Together, our staff and foster parents have witnessed hundreds of kids with significant trauma heal and grow in our 33 years of providing treatment foster care. 

 

Kids in Foster Care Trying to Survive Trauma

Children are in Wisconsin foster care for a wide variety of reasons. Every reason creates or stems from a traumatic experience or series of experiences. We have written many blogs about kids referred to CCR. We share as much information as we can while protecting the child's privacy. Our goal is to help prospective foster parents understand trauma and its effects on children. Sadly, we share another unimaginable story of a 12-year-old girl who needed a loving home.

Wisconsin foster care is full of kids trying to survive their trauma.

We often tell prospective foster parents to focus on a child's presenting issues and behaviors vs. the child's age. Many new foster parents that want to foster younger children discover quickly that kids can present much younger than their age. Tasha is an example of a child whose behaviors and emotions do not match her age. Although she is 12 years old, Tasha behaves like a much younger child with regular outbursts and attention-seeking behaviors. Although in sixth grade, Tasha has an IEP (Individual Education Plan) and struggles socially with peers. Her exposure to a tragic and frightening incident compounded her trauma to another level.

girl on the swing zk4JNuPO SBI 300199687 1

Tasha has a tough time when told "no" and has been known to scream profanities when angry. At 12 years old, her behaviors are more like a younger child throwing a tantrum. Door slamming and foot-stomping are commonplace. She was not disciplined by her biological parents and was provided with little structure or boundaries. A history of neglect has taken its toll on Tasha, and the only way she knows how to express herself is through heightened, unhealthy behaviors.

CCR foster parents use trauma-informed parenting tools to help kids.

The CCR clinical staff says "basic" parenting skills don't work with kids with trauma. They are right. All CCR families complete trauma-informed care training to gain the knowledge and tools needed to care for kids with trauma histories. Kids like Tasha do not respond to basic discipline tactics and logical consequences. Studies on children like Tasha show that severe deprivation or neglect: disrupts how children's brains develop and process information, thereby increasing the risk for attentional, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral disorders. Using trauma-informed parenting skills helps kids like Tasha learn, heal, and grow.

Neglect accounts for 78% of all child maltreatment cases nationwide,

Tasha's biological father is deceased, and she lived with her mother and stepfather until late 2021. Her mother and stepfather have a long history of drug addiction and domestic violence; both were addicted to Opiates, as was her stepfather's sister Joanne. Tasha was regularly in the presence of adults using drugs. Tragically, Tasha witnessed Joanne overdose and pass away in the family's home. Her stepfather told Tasha to call the police and give false information during the overdose. When the police arrived, they found drugs accessible to Tasha and subsequently removed her from home, and she was placed in a county foster home.

drugs scaled

County foster homes are often unable to meet the higher needs of foster children.

Tasha's foster parents gave written notice to have her removed from their home. The foster parents stated they struggled to regulate Tasha's attention-seeking behaviors and found caring for their four biological children very difficult while tending to her heightened needs. Both foster parents worked outside the home and utilized afterschool care for Tasha. She struggled in the unstructured environment. The couple believed that Tasha required additional services not currently provided, and the county agency agreed.

The case was referred to CCR in hopes of matching Tasha with a family offering a parent available to her at all times outside of school hours. The ideal foster home would not have other children living in the house to provide Tasha with much-needed one-on-one attention. In addition, an experienced foster home using trauma-informed parenting tools would be best for her.

The referring county's goal was to reunify Tasha with her family. It was anticipated that she would need a foster family to commit to at least an 18-month period. Sadly, we did not have a CCR foster home available in the right location that could meet Tasha's needs. Tasha is one of over a dozen kids near her age that we could not place this month.

Foster parents are needed in all counties for kids like Tasha.

Referrals are pouring in at CCR, and we do not have enough homes for all the children. Many are sibling groups, and a large number are over age eight. They are good kids that need more than what a basic Level 2 foster home can provide. They need treatment services to address their trauma and foster parents willing to learn about trauma-informed parenting.

Tasha is a perfect example of why CCR requires all foster parents to have a flexible schedule with a parent available when kids are not in school. Kids with significant trauma histories need a structured, stable home environment utilizing trauma-informed care parenting tools. They have difficulty succeeding in daycare, afterschool programs, and summer camps. We

Our experienced team is dedicated to foster parents and kids to ensure foster parents feel supported and kids have ample opportunities to heal.

All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.

 

Foster Parents With Little Kids Have Big Challenges

Becoming a foster parent requires serious consideration of the ages of foster children you wish to help. There is a large misconception that teens are horrible and little ones are adorable. That couldn't be farther from the truth in most cases. In the 31 years we have supported foster families; we see a repeated trend. New foster parents think they want to foster little kids but can quickly have a change of heart after actually doing it. Without agency support and a basic understanding of childhood trauma, foster parents can struggle to foster younger children. Let's explore:

Wisconsin foster parents needed to help younger siblings.

Two young brothers were recently referred to us by a county agency hoping to find a suitable foster home. Adam is five years old; he and his 6-year-old brother Aiden desperately need a foster family to meet their higher needs. The boys have been living with their maternal grandmother for five months, but she has expressed that she can no longer care for the boys long-term. She has reported being emotionally and physically exhausted. She hopes the county can find her grandsons a suitable home to handle and address their behaviors, delays, and emotions.

There is no family interaction plan at this time. Mom is not responding to the county worker, and other family members are unable and unwilling to care for the boys.Foster child with worried look on face

Aiden is in kindergarten. Adam is enrolled in a pre-K program. Both boys struggle socially with their peers, and neither is at age level developmentally. Aiden is more independent than Adam and can play alone for short periods. Adam struggles with independent play and craves individual attention. Adam has difficulty expressing himself due to a speech pediment and often expresses his frustration with anger and meltdowns. He is working with a speech therapist as it is difficult to understand some of his words and speech patterns.

Both boys enjoy being with other children but have difficulty reading social cues and respecting personal space. Adam is quick to interact with other children but often isn't included in play due to his assertiveness. His inability to play with boundaries has been a concern of the preschool staff. He is often redirected or given a task to divert him from a situation. He is a very energetic child and enjoys playing outside with Aiden and building with Legos.

Keeping siblings together is a struggle in foster care.

Aiden is a good listener and generally follows directions and expectations. He can play too rough with his brother at times but is sensitive to his brother's needs. He is behind in school but enjoys going. Both boys were drug-affected infants and suffered severe neglect before removal from the home. It is reported that Aiden has some memories of witnessing family violence and drug use.

It is important that the boys be placed together with older children or no other children in the home. Their need for individual attention would be difficult for a single working parent or parents with younger children in the house. A two-parent home is desired, ideally with one parent at home, to meet individual needs and Adams's constant desire for one-on-one interaction. The connection to their maternal grandmother will be essential to maintain. She has requested the boys be allowed to visit with her when possible.

The boys are similar to many other young siblings in foster care. Neglect and domestic violence have traumatic effects on developing minds, leading to behaviors and emotions that don't always make sense to the outside world. That is where trauma-informed parenting tools are essential. A recent post made by a foster mom on a social media feed resembles the needs and history of Aiden and Adam.

Foster mom takes to social media asking for help.

We've had our sibling set for three months now: a four-year-old girl (turning 5 in a month) and a six-year-old boy. Our foster son is in first grade, and we have struggled to find a suitable daycare or pre-k program for our foster daughter. She is needy, wanders, and struggles with attention. She has severe attachment issues. She is NOT like a typical four-year-old. She does NOT play with toys, EVER! She instead follows me around all day, sits on me, touches me, and asks questions I know she knows the answers to. She does things she knows she shouldn't be doing as soon as I turn away for a split second. I am not even a little bit overdramatic here either. My patience is wearing so thin.

I sit with her during breakfast, play with her after breakfast, color together, or work on some Pre-K stuff I've printed from home; I let her sit and snuggle with me for a little bit. I don't know what else to do! I encourage her to be independent, but she doesn't get it. She comes right back to me. I struggle to do dishes, laundry, or other chores. I understand she is little and has been traumatized, but this is hard! Even when big brother is home from school, he goes and plays...she still follows my every move. Please be kind with any advice, I am trying my best, and I do not want to disrupt this placement.

foster mom pulling at her hair frustrated

WOW! This struggling foster mom needs the support of a great agency and continued trauma-informed care training. In addition, her foster daughter would greatly benefit from a CANS evaluation. A tool designed to measure the strengths and needs of a child to get necessary support and therapy services. THIS is why many foster parents ask for kids to be removed from their homes. It is also why many foster parents transition to care for older kids. It is a lot. It is exhausting. It is VERY different than parenting well-adjusted children from stable, structured environments.

Foster parents need 24/7 support.

The fact is, she is not alone. So many foster parents caring for younger children are overwhelmed. Their agency often does not fully support them, and they are not trained in trauma-informed care principles. Fostering kids with trauma is NOT like caring for well-adjusted kids. These kids have a lot going on, and foster parents need to have the skills and tools to help their kids successfully.

There are hundreds of sibling groups like Aiden and Adam in Wisconsin foster care. Like the foster mom above, many foster parents share stories online and ask for much-needed advice and support. At CCR, we receive 40-50 referrals each month from counties across Wisconsin looking for a suitable home for kids like these brothers. If you are interested in fostering, we would love to speak with you. We will educate you, train you, and support you to care for kids with higher levels of trauma. OR, you can jump in and foster older kids if caring for littles isn't the best fit for you.

How Old Are Kids in Foster Care

Wisconsin foster care has over 7,400 kids in out of home care at any time. Ages of foster children range from infant to young adults. If you are interested in how to become a foster parent, one of the biggest decisions you will make is the age range of the foster children you wish to care for. The need for loving foster homes in Wisconsin is desperate. It is important to know your own strengths and weaknesses and what age group will be the best fit for you and your family.

Wisconsin foster parents can choose the children they foster.

One of the first questions you will be asked by a CCR new foster parent adviser is "What age group are you interested in fostering?" Saying you are open to fostering children of any age is not realistic. (Just being honest) Few foster parents can foster all ages successfully. Strengths and weaknesses will surely come into play when parenting foster kids, no different than if you are raising or have raised kids of your own.

New foster parents are encouraged to have an age group preference.

Enjoying certain age groups or feeling you're "better" with specific ages is okay and encouraged. There are too many factors involved for a new foster parent to say they will care for a foster child of ANY age. Obviously caring for a toddler requires a different schedule and requirements than does fostering a 12-year-old. New foster parents must be able to meet the day to day needs of kids and the needs are great.

Considering your flexibility, availability for appointment requirements, drive times, unexpected illness or days off school, holidays and summer vacation, are all factors to think about when considering your age preference.

The "T" word. These kids aren't as scary as you might think!

There is usually no middle ground with this decision. Either foster parents want teens or they don't. We find that prospective foster parents afraid of teens don't really understand what the kids need and what amazing things they can offer this age group.

The majority of teens in foster care haven't had a dependable adult in their life. No adult to trust. No structure, consistency, or support. They are alone and may very well be facing adulthood alone. Teaching life skills, independent living skills, applying for jobs, navigating relationships, learning to drive, all these things require a trusting adult to help teach and guide a teen.

Often times, meeting the emotional needs of a teen can be draining for any parent. Teenagers can certainly test and challenge the best of parents. Patience, good listening skills, trust, belief in a child, and meeting them where they're at are critical to helping a youth heal from past traumas.

Their needs are great and complex but for many foster parents, they love the challenge of breaking through, making progress, and providing hope for a bright future.

How a foster child comes in the door and how they leave can be dramatically and beautifully different.

There are thousands of amazing testimonials from foster parents that have helped change the future of a teen. Unfortunately, the abuses and horrible actions of a very small minority of foster parents is what most of us hear and cling to. Stories of amazing progress and bright futures are rarely talked about unless highlighted on Ellen or social media.

Stories of parents developing lifelong relationships with kids they fostered. Meeting their spouses and children years later. Sharing holidays with former foster youth. If you really want to change the life of a child, foster a teenager. 

Many new foster parents have exceptional skills and patience to care for younger children with trauma.

Teaching a child how to dress, fasten a seat belt, or how to use words instead of actions are all extremely important and part of typical parenting. Bedtime rituals, morning routines, and eating habits almost always require time and patience from any parent. If these day to day exercises and challenges are what you enjoy then fostering younger children might be a great fit for you and your family. However, you must remember, kids in foster care will often come with extra challenges.

So, you think you want to help little kids while they are still young and impressionable.

Many new foster parents think that fostering kids while they are young, allows for more teachable moments. Parenting a child before they are set in their ways or have developed bad behaviors like older kids is a common interest of people exploring fostering. Believing that younger children don't have the behaviors and emotional struggles that older kids and teenagers have is a HUGE misconception. In fact, it can be quite the opposite, depending on the child.

Toddlers and young children in foster care often have heightened needs due to severe neglect.

Is patience your middle name? Do you like hands-on parenting and meeting the ever-changing needs that little ones have? Toddlers and young children in foster care often display a variety of delays and behaviors that can be challenging. Delays with language, processing, hygiene skills, food associations, and inappropriate expressions of frustration are commonplace.

Fostering preschool-age children can be challenging for those not up to the task. Because kids in this age group can often be delayed and cannot always articulate how they feel or what they need, days can be long and frustrating. Behaviors can be heightened or age-inappropriate depending on the abuse or neglect a child experienced. Trauma stunts a child's growth and development and foster parents must understand that this age group will require more from them than what might be expected.

The average age of a child in foster care is 10 years old.

The greatest need in Wisconsin and throughout the country is for kids over the age of 5 and sibling groups. That is true at CCR as well. The average age of boys in our care is 10, the average age for girls is 11. This population is often the least requested for no specific reason, other than folks preferring "little ones" or teens. Many kids in this age group come into care with younger siblings.

A rewarding part of fostering kids in grade or middle school is getting them involved in extracurricular activities and helping them navigate the challenges of school. Remember, until foster care, many kids have not had an adult active in their education, developed healthy relationships with classmates or teachers, or been involved in sports or after school activities.

Getting kids active is imperative to healing from past traumas.

Getting a foster child involved in an extracurricular activity not only occupies their downtime and frees them from electronics, but it also teaches them valuable life skills.

Extracurricular activities expose kids to so many things they have never experienced. Our foster parents have great stories about witnessing kids coming out of their shells, improving relationships with peers, and building confidence.

This age group is rewarding for many foster parents because there are so many positive changes happening at once. Progress is obvious, kids are developing passions and exploring new interests all the time. If there are siblings involved, kids can now share new interests with their brothers and sisters which help relationship development within the family.

What age group interests you now might change over time.

Many foster parents start with one age group and wish to try another age later down the road. At CCR, we do ask that parents have a large enough preference window that will allow for opportunity of placements. For example ages 10 and under, kids between ages 8-13, or teen girls. It is very helpful to have a wide window so that you have ample opportunity to get calls with potential placements.

If you are only interested in babies, you may be waiting for a very long time. Most infants remain in county foster care and are rarely referred to a private agency. The exception may be if the baby is part of a larger sibling group.

The choice is yours. Know your strengths and weaknesses and be confident with what you can offer a child or sibling group in your care. Keep in mind other children in your home, your availability and schedules, and what you know you can offer a child with a traumatic background.

Call us anytime to learn more. 800-799-0450

GET YOUR FOSTER LICENSE IN 100 DAYS! Homes for kids 10-18 are desperately needed.