Can Foster Parents Choose the Age of Foster Kids?

Choosing the age of the children you wish to foster is one of many considerations to becoming a foster parent in Wisconsin. Most important is how a foster child will fit into your family. Although foster parents cannot pick specific children to care for, they can have an age preference.

Foster parents can choose the age and gender of a child.

One of the first questions we ask prospective CCR foster parents is: Do you have an age range in mind? No right or wrong answer exists, but it is a great place to start our initial conversation. Knowing what age group interests you allows us to help you explore fostering and how it will fit with your family. Keep in mind the dynamics of your household, space, schedules, and whether other children are living in your home.

The greater your age range preference, the more opportunities for placing children in your home. It may be helpful to break down your preferences into the following groups.

Birth - 5 Years
Elementary School
Middle School
High School
Sibling Groups

CCR is committed to finding the best home for each child and sibling group where healing can happen. Many factors go into deciding where a child will be placed. Our goal is to create successful outcomes for both foster parents and kids.

How are children placed in a foster home?

When a child or sibling group is referred to CCR, our team reviews available families for the best possible home. Considerations may include:

Location of the foster home
Age and gender preference
Experience of the foster parents
Day-to-day flexibility of foster parents' schedule
Are there other children living in the home
What is the available bedroom space

When a referral is a potential match for your home, Brian, our placement supervisor, calls to share what he knows about the children, including the history of abuse/neglect, behaviors, emotional health, and any previous foster home placements. A pre-placement visit allows the foster family to meet the children before committing to a placement. Typically, the kids will spend an overnight or weekend with the family and determine if they wish to care long-term for the children. A typical placement will last 12-24 months. If the family declines the placement, the search continues to find a suitable home where healing can happen.

A desire to foster younger kids may include sibling groups and older kids.

Below is a recent post from a foster parent support group on Facebook. The frustration is accurate; waiting can be difficult. Her question received many comments from foster parents across the country that are worth considering if you want to foster little kiddos.

"Hoping you can help me out. We've been getting lots of calls for kids over age eight. The age group we prefer is newborn to age 6. I feel awful turning them down, but I'm just nervous about that age group. Should we stick with our preferred range or consider raising our age range? What have you done? Thanks"

We’ve had a couple of placements, both older than what we thought we wanted. The first one was seven, but he was more like a four-year-old in reality. It was non-stop and very challenging. We have a 12-year-old now, and although she has teenage feelings, she’s academically a fourth-grader and emotionally behind. She has a lot of childhood trauma. I never saw my family taking an older child but she is a great fit for our family. It might be wise to consider development and history instead of age.

We said eight and under, and we don't have room for siblings. We got one call in the first four months! It was for a six-year-old, and it fell through. We finally said we would go older; we have a 10-year-old boy now. He came with a lot of issues, but he is doing better every day he is with us. I’m so glad we said yes.

We currently have two sisters, ages 4 and 6, and they are great, but a 13-year-old girl we had with us last year was such a fantastic kid. Teens, in general, made me nervous before her. Maybe she was an exception, but she fit so well with us.

We got a nine-year-old, and it was hard initially to get used to because our only bio is a four-year-old. We are five months in, and I love this girl so much. It looks like they may be terminating rights, so she may be here to stay!

We originally wanted 0-6, but we did respite for an 11-year-old girl, and she was the easiest of the five kids we have had since getting licensed. The littles are fun but have lots of trauma. Do what you think is best for your family.

When we got our foster care license, we said eight and under because we have an 8 and 5 yr old. They called us for a 10-year-old boy, asking if we could be open-minded (they were trying to get him back to Wisconsin). Four months later, he is still with us and thriving!!

My husband and I wanted foster kids under the age of four. The agency warned us we would be waiting. We waited so long and have not gotten any calls for that age. We finally got a call for a 9-year-old girl, she was here for 9 months. Now we have a 15-year-old girl and she has been a challenge but she is thriving here. Our 6-year old bio son loves her to pieces.

I got a teenager when my two kids were under five years old, and as awkward as it was at first, it was great! I will happily take a teenager again.

I wanted kids under age 10 because my kids are 6 and 9. After waiting for five months, I finally accepted my first full-time placement. She’s a 14-year-old. I was so nervous!! But I love her. She can be difficult, but we work through it. I am glad I opened up my age range, or I would have missed knowing her.

Our age group was 3-10 (no diapers), and I thought I could never do older, but after having a few foster kids in elementary school (high maintenance), we said yes to a 15-year-old, and let me tell you, she is a fantastic kid. Yes, there is drama but she is so much fun and loving. The younger ones were exhausting!

My 4-year-old foster son is giving me a run for my money but he was worth waiting for 3 months to get the call. If that's the age range you really want. Be patient. .

Foster parents change their minds a lot!

Changing your mind as you travel through your foster parenting journey is okay. Sticking to your original thoughts is also OK, but that may mean being patient for a placement. The common theme in the comments to the woman's post was that all of the foster parents adjusted their age range. They all opened their hearts to something other than what they originally planned. Most expressed how they would have missed out if they had not changed their minds.

Hundreds of kids need homes.

No matter your age preference, hundreds of Wisconsin kids are waiting for a home. CCR receives approximately 60 referrals each month from counties across Wisconsin. We will always need more homes for all the kids. Please consider helping older kids. Our new foster parent advisor, Jane, has personal fostering experience and would love to talk with you, whatever your preference is. Contact us anytime!

How Old are Kids in Wisconsin Foster Care

Children of all ages enter Wisconsin foster care every day. Many are part of sibling groups and older children over age eight. Deciding to become a foster parent means considering the ages of the children you wish to help. Foster parents can preference foster children by age, but we caution new foster parents not to have a too narrow or specific preference. Here is why.

What is the average age of kids in Wisconsin foster care?

The median age of children in, entering, and exiting foster care in the United States in 2018 was as follows:
The median age of the children in foster care in 2018 was 7.6 years.
The median age of children entering foster care in 2018 was 6.1 years.
The median age of children exiting foster care in 2018 was 7.5 years.

While some kids are in basic foster care homes, others are in treatment foster care homes, many are placed with a relative, and older kids may be in a residential facility or group home. There are typically slightly more males (52%) compared to females (48%), and the age range of kids in Wisconsin foster care is typical to the numbers nationally.

0-4 Years 31%
5-10 Years 25%
11-16 Years 24%
17-21 Years 20%

Can I choose the age of kids I want to foster in Wisconsin?

If you click on any of our "Contact Us" options, you will see that we ask about your age preference. Many prospective foster parents will be disappointed to learn that we DO NOT need families wishing to foster kids under the age of 3. Especially babies! Many younger children will be placed with a relative or remain in a county foster home. Private foster agencies rarely place children ages 0-3 unless they are part of a larger sibling group.

We regularly receive inquiries from folks who want to foster to adopt. Dare we say, gently, that foster care should not be used as a means of adopting a child. The goal of foster care is to provide a temporary, safe, healing environment for a child that has been removed from their family home, and reunification with the birth family is the goal over 50% of the time. Does adoption happen? Yes, but if it is the goal, you set yourself up to get a broken heart.

We are blunt here at CCR and quick to tell folks that we cannot consider a license for anyone with the sole goal of adopting a little one.

Wait, you said I could pick the foster kids' age!

So what do we mean exactly? New CCR foster parents must be open to fostering children of school age. We typically break it down into the elementary, middle, and high school—the more expansive your window of preference, the better your chance of getting placements and helping children. The bottom line is if you want to foster little ones, you must be open to fostering any age between 0-12. Many younger children are in foster care with siblings so age ranges can vary within a group.

Fostering teens may be an excellent option for you.

The need never seems to change. Across the country, foster agencies are desperate for new families to accept kids over age 12. Sadly, older youth come with huge stigmas and terrible rumors and are circled with negative stories that they are ALL troubled and can't be helped. There is nothing further from the truth, and we have hundreds of success stories to dismantle those thoughts.

This is an excellent testimony from John, who was in care with us for three years and thrived.

After my sophomore year is when things started happening for me. I felt like I was a part of something; I was beginning to let my foster parents love me. My caseworker Matt (with CCR 16 years), was there for me 100 percent throughout everything. My sophomore year was tough; I sabotaged myself and wished my foster parents would give up on me and have me moved. I tested them for sure! I started turning things around in my junior and senior years. With CCR, there is always somebody there to help you; there is always somebody there to stand by your side and always stick up for you. My foster parents are still like family to me.

What is the average age of a foster child placed in a CCR home?

The vast majority of kids are over age five and in elementary school. Many are sibling groups. Sadly kids between ages 9-12 seem to be the forgotten age group in foster care. Folks think they can "help" little ones more, and almost everyone believes teens will be the most difficult. Both of those statements are untrue! We have hundreds of foster parents that will debunk both of those myths.

We will never talk you into doing something you aren't comfortable with. Nor will we place children in your home that you are not trained and licensed to care for. Remember, Wisconsin foster care has three levels of foster care: 2, 3, and 4. The higher the number a child is given, the higher the level of trauma and emotional and behavioral needs. The higher the license number, the more experience and training a foster home has to care for those children respectively.

We will help you explore which age group might best fit your family. Perhaps you have little kids of your own, maybe you are an empty nester, or you have never been a parent. No worries, we will gently walk you through the options and what that might look like for you and your family.