Why Having a Flexible Schedule Makes Foster Parenting Easier
Becoming a foster parent in Wisconsin is a big commitment, and a rewarding one. Most of the kids at CCR have moved homes more than once, which can make everyday routines feel harder for them. Simple things like school mornings, bedtime, or changes in plans can be overwhelming, and they need adults who can be present and steady when that happens.
To truly support children in foster care, foster parents need time and flexibility in their day. A flexible schedule helps with weekly appointments, in-home support visits, and unexpected moments. Being available before and after school when kids need you most is crucial.
Kids in Foster Care need a stable, structured home.
When children grow up without safety, predictability, or stability, it can show up in everyday ways, such as:
They stay in survival mode. Their brains are wired to expect danger, so they may constantly be on edge, hypervigilant, or easily triggered.
They struggle to trust. When caregivers have been inconsistent or hurtful in the past, children may test limits, push people away, or act out even when they’re finally in a safe home.
They have big emotional reactions. Without stable parents/caregivers to model and teach self-regulation, they may have extreme emotional responses (e.g., screaming, shutting down, aggression).
They try to regain control. Some children become defiant, overly controlling, or withdrawn as a way to protect themselves and feel safer.
What are some behaviors of kids in foster care?
When children enter foster care, even a safe and loving home can feel unfamiliar. Because of this, behaviors often become more intense at first, especially outside of school hours. This is when having a foster parent available matters most.
Testing limits to see if a caregiver will leave or give up
Big emotional reactions or shutting down
Struggles with transitions and changes in routine
Fear of attachment, including pushing caregivers away
Acting younger than their age as they seek missed care
What does a flexible schedule look like?
CCR foster parents take on more than just daily care. They must be ready to:
Schedule and drive kids to therapy appointments, often weekly
Be available for school meetings, medical appointments, and unplanned interuptions
Transport kids to and from visits with biological family members
Be home when kids are out of school, on breaks, or not involved in structured activities
These commitments are not optional, they’re part of what helps a child heal and grow.
Adult supervision is required
Children with trauma histories need more supervision, not because they’re “bad,” but because they’re learning how to feel safe and regulate their emotions, often for the first time.
That learning process is not quick, and it doesn’t always fit neatly into a lunch break, scheduled PTO, or after-school schedules. Being present during these moments is how our foster parents build trust and teach safety.
Can foster parents work from home?
Although foster parents are physically present, remote work still requires focus and attention that takes away from the supervision and emotional presence a child needs. The distractions of work can leave a foster child feeling unseen, or even unsafe, which can lead to more challenging behaviors.
Being a foster parent might be the best "work" you've ever done!
Being present, flexible, and responsive makes all the difference to a child who has never had that before. If you’re considering becoming a foster parent, ask yourself: Can I create the space and flexibility in my life to show up for a child who’s never had someone stay?
We would love to talk with you. Please contact us when you're ready to learn more.
Kids in Foster Care Trying to Survive Trauma
Children are in Wisconsin foster care for a wide variety of reasons. Every reason creates or stems from a traumatic experience or series of experiences. We have written many blogs about kids referred to CCR. We share as much information as we can while protecting the child's privacy. Our goal is to help prospective foster parents understand trauma and its effects on children. Sadly, we share another unimaginable story of a 12-year-old girl who needed a loving home.
Wisconsin foster care is full of kids trying to survive their trauma.
We often tell prospective foster parents to focus on a child's presenting issues and behaviors vs. the child's age. Many new foster parents that want to foster younger children discover quickly that kids can present much younger than their age. Tasha is an example of a child whose behaviors and emotions do not match her age. Although she is 12 years old, Tasha behaves like a much younger child with regular outbursts and attention-seeking behaviors. Although in sixth grade, Tasha has an IEP (Individual Education Plan) and struggles socially with peers. Her exposure to a tragic and frightening incident compounded her trauma to another level.
Tasha has a tough time when told "no" and has been known to scream profanities when angry. At 12 years old, her behaviors are more like a younger child throwing a tantrum. Door slamming and foot-stomping are commonplace. She was not disciplined by her biological parents and was provided with little structure or boundaries. A history of neglect has taken its toll on Tasha, and the only way she knows how to express herself is through heightened, unhealthy behaviors.
CCR foster parents use trauma-informed parenting tools to help kids.
The CCR clinical staff says "basic" parenting skills don't work with kids with trauma. They are right. All CCR families complete trauma-informed care training to gain the knowledge and tools needed to care for kids with trauma histories. Kids like Tasha do not respond to basic discipline tactics and logical consequences. Studies on children like Tasha show that severe deprivation or neglect: disrupts how children's brains develop and process information, thereby increasing the risk for attentional, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral disorders. Using trauma-informed parenting skills helps kids like Tasha learn, heal, and grow.
Tasha's biological father is deceased, and she lived with her mother and stepfather until late 2021. Her mother and stepfather have a long history of drug addiction and domestic violence; both were addicted to Opiates, as was her stepfather's sister Joanne. Tasha was regularly in the presence of adults using drugs. Tragically, Tasha witnessed Joanne overdose and pass away in the family's home. Her stepfather told Tasha to call the police and give false information during the overdose. When the police arrived, they found drugs accessible to Tasha and subsequently removed her from home, and she was placed in a county foster home.
County foster homes are often unable to meet the higher needs of foster children.
Tasha's foster parents gave written notice to have her removed from their home. The foster parents stated they struggled to regulate Tasha's attention-seeking behaviors and found caring for their four biological children very difficult while tending to her heightened needs. Both foster parents worked outside the home and utilized afterschool care for Tasha. She struggled in the unstructured environment. The couple believed that Tasha required additional services not currently provided, and the county agency agreed.
The case was referred to CCR in hopes of matching Tasha with a family offering a parent available to her at all times outside of school hours. The ideal foster home would not have other children living in the house to provide Tasha with much-needed one-on-one attention. In addition, an experienced foster home using trauma-informed parenting tools would be best for her.
The referring county's goal was to reunify Tasha with her family. It was anticipated that she would need a foster family to commit to at least an 18-month period. Sadly, we did not have a CCR foster home available in the right location that could meet Tasha's needs. Tasha is one of over a dozen kids near her age that we could not place this month.
Foster parents are needed in all counties for kids like Tasha.
Referrals are pouring in at CCR, and we do not have enough homes for all the children. Many are sibling groups, and a large number are over age eight. They are good kids that need more than what a basic Level 2 foster home can provide. They need treatment services to address their trauma and foster parents willing to learn about trauma-informed parenting.
Tasha is a perfect example of why CCR requires all foster parents to have a flexible schedule with a parent available when kids are not in school. Kids with significant trauma histories need a structured, stable home environment utilizing trauma-informed care parenting tools. They have difficulty succeeding in daycare, afterschool programs, and summer camps. We
Our experienced team is dedicated to foster parents and kids to ensure foster parents feel supported and kids have ample opportunities to heal.
All identifying information are altered to protect the privacy of children.
How Old Are Kids in Foster Care
Wisconsin foster care has over 7,400 kids in out of home care at any time. Ages of foster children range from infant to young adults. If you are interested in how to become a foster parent, one of the biggest decisions you will make is the age range of the foster children you wish to care for. The need for loving foster homes in Wisconsin is desperate. It is important to know your own strengths and weaknesses and what age group will be the best fit for you and your family.
Wisconsin foster parents can choose the children they foster.
One of the first questions you will be asked by a CCR new foster parent adviser is "What age group are you interested in fostering?" Saying you are open to fostering children of any age is not realistic. (Just being honest) Few foster parents can foster all ages successfully. Strengths and weaknesses will surely come into play when parenting foster kids, no different than if you are raising or have raised kids of your own.
New foster parents are encouraged to have an age group preference.
Enjoying certain age groups or feeling you're "better" with specific ages is okay and encouraged. There are too many factors involved for a new foster parent to say they will care for a foster child of ANY age. Obviously caring for a toddler requires a different schedule and requirements than does fostering a 12-year-old. New foster parents must be able to meet the day to day needs of kids and the needs are great.
Considering your flexibility, availability for appointment requirements, drive times, unexpected illness or days off school, holidays and summer vacation, are all factors to think about when considering your age preference.
The "T" word. These kids aren't as scary as you might think!
There is usually no middle ground with this decision. Either foster parents want teens or they don't. We find that prospective foster parents afraid of teens don't really understand what the kids need and what amazing things they can offer this age group.
The majority of teens in foster care haven't had a dependable adult in their life. No adult to trust. No structure, consistency, or support. They are alone and may very well be facing adulthood alone. Teaching life skills, independent living skills, applying for jobs, navigating relationships, learning to drive, all these things require a trusting adult to help teach and guide a teen.
Often times, meeting the emotional needs of a teen can be draining for any parent. Teenagers can certainly test and challenge the best of parents. Patience, good listening skills, trust, belief in a child, and meeting them where they're at are critical to helping a youth heal from past traumas.
Their needs are great and complex but for many foster parents, they love the challenge of breaking through, making progress, and providing hope for a bright future.
How a foster child comes in the door and how they leave can be dramatically and beautifully different.
There are thousands of amazing testimonials from foster parents that have helped change the future of a teen. Unfortunately, the abuses and horrible actions of a very small minority of foster parents is what most of us hear and cling to. Stories of amazing progress and bright futures are rarely talked about unless highlighted on Ellen or social media.
Stories of parents developing lifelong relationships with kids they fostered. Meeting their spouses and children years later. Sharing holidays with former foster youth. If you really want to change the life of a child, foster a teenager.
Many new foster parents have exceptional skills and patience to care for younger children with trauma.
Teaching a child how to dress, fasten a seat belt, or how to use words instead of actions are all extremely important and part of typical parenting. Bedtime rituals, morning routines, and eating habits almost always require time and patience from any parent. If these day to day exercises and challenges are what you enjoy then fostering younger children might be a great fit for you and your family. However, you must remember, kids in foster care will often come withextra challenges.
So, you think you want to help little kids while they are still young and impressionable.
Many new foster parents think that fostering kids while they are young, allows for more teachable moments. Parenting a child before they are set in their ways or have developed bad behaviors like older kids is a common interest of people exploring fostering. Believing that younger children don't have the behaviors and emotional struggles that older kids and teenagers have is a HUGE misconception. In fact, it can be quite the opposite, depending on the child.
Toddlers and young children in foster care often have heightened needs due to severe neglect.
Is patience your middle name? Do you like hands-on parenting and meeting the ever-changing needs that little ones have? Toddlers and young children in foster care often display a variety of delays and behaviors that can be challenging. Delays with language, processing, hygiene skills, food associations, and inappropriate expressions of frustration are commonplace.
Fostering preschool-age children can be challenging for those not up to the task. Because kids in this age group can often be delayed and cannot always articulate how they feel or what they need, days can be long and frustrating. Behaviors can be heightened or age-inappropriate depending on the abuse or neglect a child experienced. Trauma stunts a child's growth and development and foster parents must understand that this age group will require more from them than what might be expected.
The average age of a child in foster care is 10 years old.
The greatest need in Wisconsin and throughout the country is for kids over the age of 5 and sibling groups. That is true at CCR as well. The average age of boys in our care is 10, the average age for girls is 11. This population is often the least requested for no specific reason, other than folks preferring "little ones" or teens. Many kids in this age group come into care with younger siblings.
A rewarding part of fostering kids in grade or middle school is getting them involved in extracurricular activities and helping them navigate the challenges of school. Remember, until foster care, many kids have not had an adult active in their education, developed healthy relationships with classmates or teachers, or been involved in sports or after school activities.
Getting kids active is imperative to healing from past traumas.
Getting a foster child involved in an extracurricular activity not only occupies their downtime and frees them from electronics, but it also teaches them valuable life skills.
Time management
Teamwork
Goal Setting
Confidence Building
Stress management
Social Skill Development
Extracurricular activities expose kids to so many things they have never experienced. Our foster parents have great stories about witnessing kids coming out of their shells, improving relationships with peers, and building confidence.
This age group is rewarding for many foster parents because there are so many positive changes happening at once. Progress is obvious, kids are developing passions and exploring new interests all the time. If there are siblings involved, kids can now share new interests with their brothers and sisters which help relationship development within the family.
What age group interests you now might change over time.
Many foster parents start with one age group and wish to try another age later down the road. At CCR, we do ask that parents have a large enough preference window that will allow for opportunity of placements. For example ages 10 and under, kids between ages 8-13, or teen girls. It is very helpful to have a wide window so that you have ample opportunity to get calls with potential placements.
If you are only interested in babies, you may be waiting for a very long time. Most infants remain in county foster care and are rarely referred to a private agency. The exception may be if the baby is part of a larger sibling group.
The choice is yours. Know your strengths and weaknesses and be confident with what you can offer a child or sibling group in your care. Keep in mind other children in your home, your availability and schedules, and what you know you can offer a child with a traumatic background.
Call us anytime to learn more. 800-799-0450
Can Foster Parents Work Full Time?
Can Wisconsin foster parents work? Can single foster parents work? If you want to become a foster parent in Wisconsin and you are working full-time, there is good news. It is possible IF you meet the required flexibility and availability requirements.
Wisconsin foster parents can work but must be available and flexible.
Being a foster parent with CCR doesn't require being a stay-at-home mom or a stay-at-home dad. We embrace our working foster parents. We know how hard they work to take care of their families. What we require is flexibility. CCR foster parents must be available to their foster children when needed and have the flexibility to adjust their schedules accordingly.
When fostering school-age children and teens, having a flexible schedule before, during, and after school hours is important. CCR foster parents typically have 2-4 scheduled appointments each week. These required appointments take place between 8 am - 5 pm Monday through Friday. In addition, many unplanned interruptions arise when fostering.
Working foster parents need a support system.
Most everyone has helped a family member or friend at one time or another with an unexpected situation with kids. Living in Wisconsin, snow days and cold days can create havoc for working parents. There is little notice given that your workday needs quick adjusting. Will you skip work? Ask someone to fill in for the day? In the event of a school suspension, who will stay home with your foster son or daughter for a week?
Foster parents need a dependable support system in place, people to chip in and help when necessary. Having a family member, close friend, or neighbor supporting you on your foster care journey is very important to your success and the healing success of a child.
Think of all the possible scenarios because one or more will arise, and you will need a plan in place. One of the greatest foster care support services CCR offers is weekly in-home visits with every foster family. The visits are typically 45-50 minutes per foster child. If you have a sibling set or sibling group in your home, who will be home for 2-3 hours once a week to meet with the Case Worker? Biological family visits, unexpected disruptions, schedule changes, and school-related appointments will require your time during regular business hours.
Without a flexible work/home schedule, it will be tough to manage the demanding schedule.
Most non-foster youth can safely stay home alone; others can stay with family or hang out at a friend's house. What if your child suffers from the challenges of significant trauma? What if your 8-year-old child cannot stay with a neighbor because past trauma prevents them from being safe? What if your child's behaviors are too unpredictable for grandma or your best friend to manage? What if? These are the first two words of many questions we will ask if you work full-time and want to become a CCR foster parent for treatment-level kids. Flexibility is non-negotiable.
Often, prospective foster parents don't think of the possible situations that may arise. It is our job to ensure you understand the requirements and the responsibilities that will be upon you as a foster parent. Expect that it will be much different than caring for your own children and from what you have witnessed with nieces, nephews, and friends.
There have been instances over the years where prospective foster parents were not honest about their day-to-day schedule, thinking they could handle it and make it work, only to have it be discovered halfway through the licensing process. That is a difficult discovery for all involved; in those instances, a license was not issued. Be honest with yourself and CCR about the flexibility and stability you can offer foster children.
The process exists for the benefit of foster children, not because we want to exclude or punish working parents.
Before school and after school can be difficult for working foster parents if they keep a tight, demanding work schedule. Daycare is often an option, and having a friend or family member fill in or give occasional support is okay. We want to avoid having too many adults in a child's life. Going to the neighbor's house on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after school and having Grandma in the home 2-3 mornings a week to get the kids off to school may seem like a good idea, but it generally creates more chaos and confusion for the kids. Although adults provide supervision, it backfires because too many adults play the role of parents.
Adjusting your work schedule may be something to consider. We can help you explore your options.
We welcome a conversation with you about your schedule. We often have ideas and suggestions that might fit perfectly with your situation and allow you to create a schedule that will work well. Many families find that one spouse can cut back their hours to 25 or 30 hours a week without financially affecting the family. Remember, foster parents receive a payment each month that is designed to cover the expenses of caring for a child. You are not financially responsible for foster children. Find more Wisconsin foster care questions and answers here.
Can kids attend daycare, summer camps, or after-school programs?
On a case-by-case basis, yes, they can. Is it ideal for a child's treatment and healing process? No, it is not. It all circles back to creating an environment of consistency and stability. Introducing too many adults, programs, and settings can work against foster kids and impede their healing and progress. Keep in mind the 2-4 required weekly appointments. It can be stressful unless working foster parents have a very flexible schedule.
Flexible schedules provide optimal opportunities for healing.
If you are working full-time, give us a call. Let's talk through your schedule and flexibility. Click here for answers to the most frequently asked foster care questions. Let us help you decide. The support we provide begins on the first phone call.
