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Back in Foster Care After Adopted Mom's Death

Foster to adopt is an option for many Wisconsin foster families. Although most foster children return home to their biological families, others will be adopted out of foster care. After finding his forever home 10 years ago, David finds himself back in foster care at age 13. A world away from his home, friends, and family. His story will both break and warm your heart.

Adopted out of foster care at age 3.

David is one of 5 siblings removed from his family home 12 years ago. He entered foster care at age 14 months. His biological mother used drugs and alcohol during her pregnancy, causing David to develop Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in addition to other complications from drug exposure in utero. Originally placed in care with two of his siblings, they were eventually separated. David was adopted at age 3 by his foster mother. She passed away tragically in 2020 forcing David back into the system where his journey began.

The boy was placed in 3 foster homes in 2 months.

After his adoptive mother's passing, David was placed in a temporary foster home. He was removed from friends and school while grieving for his mother. While searching for long-term foster home placement, the local agency attempted to locate his biological siblings. During this time, he bounced around in 3 different foster homes. His trauma was compounding! His behaviors worsening! Confusion, anger, and sadness brewed to concerning levels.

Two of David's brothers were located nearly 300 miles away from David's hometown. The foster agency arranged for his brothers and their adoptive parents to meet with David. The reunion was filled with special moments, tears, and confusion. David hoped to reunite with his brothers permanently, but the adoptive family could not commit to caring for him. As a result, he returned home to his temporary foster home.Foster Boy is Adopted

Foster parents were patient while a permanent plan was formed.

David's third foster home was with a couple that had fostered for 20+ years. They had the experience to help David through this difficult time. Over the years, they had fostered other children that had lost a parent. They understood how to help the boy grieve and many tools to provide trauma-informed care. It was a blessing, but it wasn't a permanent solution. The couple were empty nesters, loved caring for foster children, but could not commit to a long-term placement with David. At age 13, it was possible that David would remain in foster care until age 18, when he would age out of foster care.

Adoptive sister agrees to placement.

In early 2021, the oldest biological daughter of David's adoptive mother stepped forward to care for David temporarily. She was also caring for her younger sister since the passing of their mother. Her hands were full, but after much deliberation, she agreed to have David stay with her until a permanent solution developed. "Carrie" lived across the country with her husband, toddler, and younger sister. It would be a challenge, but she agreed that her home was the best place for the boy for the time being. Now in Wisconsin, the search began for a permanent foster home.

Foster child at park

Surprisingly, the boy has happy days and is adapting.

David has a happy, fun-loving personality with an intelligent nature. He has the ability to be engaging in conversations and has a likeable personality. He continues to struggle with anger, frustration, and unresolved grief over the loss of his mother. He is also feeling abandonded and fearful of his unknown future. He has been with his sister for two months now and tugs at the heartstrings of almost everyone that he meets.

He has been diagnosed with ADHD, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and Anxiety Disorder. He appears to be intelligent and has the ability to exceed in school once in a stable environment. He has fallen behind possibly due to the multiple placements since his adoptive mother's death.

He enjoys video gaming on his X-box, drawing in his sketchbook, and riding his skateboard. He has enjoyed going to the YMCA as it reminds him of his hometown when he would hang out with his mentors. He would love to play soccer again and hopes to get on a team soon.

A foster home without other children would be best for David.

David would do best as an only child in a home or with much older teen siblings who could be good role models for him. He expresses missing his two mentors back home. David attended church regularly with his mom and hopes to find a foster home that shares his Christian beliefs. Foster parents that can provide one on one parenting and coaching would be beneficial for him. A stay-at-home parent is desired.

CCR foster parents met with David over the weekend.

We received the referral for David on a Tuesday. Our placement coordinator located a potential home for him within 50 miles of his sister's home. A pre-placement visit allowed the foster parents to meet the child before committing. David would spend the weekend with the couple. He reportedly felt comfortable and, while keeping his guard up, seemed to enjoy the weekend. The visit was successful!

Our foster parents expressed an interest in accepting David into their home permanently. We went to work quickly to make it happen. Working with the referring county, arrangements were made for David to move in with the couple within the week.

Over the next few days, the foster parents met with the older sister. She expressed a strong desire to remain in David's life and wanted to be sure the foster family would arrange for visits and calls. Of course, the foster parents agreed that it was in David's best interest to have a continued relationship with both his sister's niece and brother-in-law. how to become foster parents

David is beginning to heal and make progress.

Services and support were put into place immediately upon placement. David meets with his therapist each week and is working on the goals of his specialized treatment plan. In addition, the foster parents have introduced David to a friend of theirs who is a local police officer. David is enjoying the relationship and can hang out with his new mentor regularly.

Visits with his sisters are going well. His foster parents are extremely supportive and encouraging of the relationships with his sisters.

Foster to adopt is an option!

When the couple originally called to learn how to become foster parents with CCR, they expressed an interest in adopting an older child. When David needed a home near his sister, we knew this might be the perfect fit. Before accepting placement, the foster parents learned the details of David's story. They understood his emotional needs and that adoption was the goal for the boy. The couple opened their home and their hearts to David just a few short months ago and have already committed to adoption!! A permanent loving home! David will soon be forever settled with his new family!

Approximately 16% of CCR kids are adopted by their foster parents!


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