We asked several Wisconsin foster parents to share some of the most frequent comments and questions they've gotten about foster care. Foster parents know becoming a foster parent often means people are curious, observing, and inquisitive. Many of our foster parents hear comments in the presence of their foster kids, making for awkward moments. Often, foster parents shrug off a comment or question and don't take offense. They know people are genuinely curious and don't always know the right thing to say.
The best and worst comments ever made to foster parents.
They are so lucky to have you!
This one gets me & so many people say it to me—total strangers. I understand what people are trying to say but "lucky" is the wrong word choice. Nothing about their life has been lucky!
Foster parents will say goodbye to the majority of their kids.
Don't you get attached?
Nope!!! LOL. Of course, we do! I hear this one a lot, especially with my younger kids. I've never heard this with any of my teens.
What about your own kids?
What about them? One day I will say, "I gave them away to become a foster parent." LOL, I've had this question several times. It hurts when it comes from acquaintances, but I know they just don't get it.
Foster kids can hear you!
Should you have him tested? For ADHA, ADD, ODD....
Right in front of my 9-year-old foster son. I think he knew what she was implying. It broke my heart.
What country is she from?
I'm not kidding. I replied with the name of a town nearby, and she replied, "Oh, that's wonderful." Maybe she had never seen a black person before; I don't know.
What's their story? Why are they in foster care?
People will ask this right in front of the kids. I usually say that I don't know. One time it happened with my 14-year-old foster daughter and her 10-year-old brother. I smiled at them and gave them a silent hug.
Foster parents must protect the privacy of their foster kids.
Where are their parents?
I honestly said "at home" to a lady in Aldi once. LOL. Another time I said that I was their parent because I couldn't deal with it at that moment.
How long will you have them?
I usually say for as long as they need me.
Will they go back to their family, or will you adopt them?
I could talk about that for an hour, but the short answer is usually, "we aren't sure yet."
You are so amazing; I could never be a foster mom!
I am not exceptional. LOL. I'm a regular mom with three of my own and lots of love to give to 3 more. I have meltdowns, struggle to handle it all, and I constantly second guess myself and wonder if I am doing a good job with these kids. I AM NOT amazing. But thank you!
Being a foster parent is challenging and brings wonderful rewards.
We know how dedicated our CCR foster parents are and how much they sacrifice to care for the children in their care. Our comment to all who participated in this blog...